Such Difference
by lovelovelove22
Summary: Bella Swan isn't a typical student at Forks High School, even though no one knows it yet. She's different, and what will she do when it gets to be too much? AU-AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Now that I've finally finished up some of my other stories, I decided that it was finally a good time for me to post this one. It's been in my head since late April, and I'm really excited to finally get it out to all of you. I haven't seen a story like this one before, so I'm hoping that you guys are into it and find it different and interesting. So enjoy, and I would appreciate if you would let me know what you think!**

……

I don't know how many people in the world have experienced a first day of school quite like this one. Moving from Seattle to Forks was absolutely necessary in our case, which went without saying. My dad had lived here before he moved to Seattle and married my mom, a few years before I was born. And this was a small town, with just over 3,000 people, so it seemed like everyone knew that Charlie Swan and his daughter would be moving here, but they didn't know the finer details of my situation. And the kids at Forks High School thought that, since our parents had been friends, it meant we should be friends too. But I'm only here to finish out high school. Unlike most members of the senior class, my life has already started. All I want to do is get my diploma and get on with it.

Other people didn't understand that.

"Hey, Isabella, there's going to be a party at my house on Saturday night. You wanna come?" Mike Newton was the most persistent of my new classmates. The moment I had walked into the building this morning, he had stuck to my side like glue, insisting that I would need a tour guide. So I had let him walk me to my first class. Then, it had turned out that we had second hour class together too. And so he was still sticking to me, and I was about ready to swat him off.

"It's just Bella, Mike." I corrected him for the fourth time. "And I don't think I'll be able to make it…I'll still be settling in and stuff, you know…unpacking." I said, hoping to let him down easy. It would be nice to at least make some friends in high school, right? I didn't have to totally isolate myself just because of how different my life was than the typical high school students.

Mike nodded, looking disappointed. "Well, you should try and make it, if you have the time." He said, and I simply nodded, not wanting to pursue the subject any further. There was no way in hell I would be going to that party, not if you paid me to. By the time lunch started, I was about ready to wring Mike's neck. He was going on and on about the party, which I was still refusing to attend. And then, as we walked across the lunchroom towards the table, he dropped the bomb. "So…do you like, have a boyfriend or something?" Mike asked. I was about to reply with a nasty comment, but then I saw the light blush creeping up his neck to his ears. "I was just asking because-"

"It's complicated." I said softly, giving Mike a small smile. He nodded wordlessly, the blush slowly fading as we approached the table. There were several people already sitting there, and Mike introduced all of them. Jessica Stanley, the curly haired brunette, didn't stop talking the entire lunch period, and the snotty blonde, Lauren Mallory just picked at her lunch while shooting me dirty looks the whole time. I decided to just keep to myself, and Mike eventually backed off.

By the time last period was over with, I was on pins and needles. When the bell rang, I burst out of my seat and out of the classroom, probably looking like a maniac. But I didn't care. I grabbed my bag from my locker and shoved my books inside, and then I burst out of the doors and into the parking lot. I scanned the area quickly, looking for the tell tale silver Volvo. I caught sight of it quickly, a smile spreading across my face as I hurried over. The driver was out of the car, leaning against the side with the back door on the passenger side open. As soon as he looked up, we made eye contact and his face broke out into a grin as well. I was at his side in a split second, throwing my arms around his neck and holding on tightly. "Hi." I mumbled against his soft lips right before I kissed him.

He chuckled softly and then pulled away slightly so that only our foreheads touched. "Hi." He murmured back. "How was your first day?"

I was about to respond, and then I saw that Lauren Mallory and Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley were standing by the building, looking at us. "Edward, let's just get going. I'll tell you about it on the way home." Edward followed my gaze and his jaw tightened when he saw the three students looking in our direction.

"Alright, let's go." He said, closing the door to the Volvo and then opening the passenger side door. "But there's a certain someone in the backseat who is anxious to see you." He said, and then closed my door and walked over to the driver's side.

At his words, I eagerly lifted myself up to look into the backseat, a huge smile on my face. "Hey, you." I whispered softly, reaching into the baby carrier and moving the blankets to the side so I could see my daughter's pudgy face. "Did you have a fun day with daddy?" I asked, just when Edward got into the driver's seat.

"She had a long nap." He informed me, checking behind his shoulder before easing out of the parking spot. With our daughter in the car, Edward was extremely cautious, unlike his usual erratic driving. "And she was an angel for the rest of the day."

"Of course she was." I murmured, glancing into the backseat one last time before facing the front. "How was your day?" I asked.

Edward sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Mostly pretty boring, since she was asleep for most of the afternoon. I have to work at ten tonight. What about you? Did you have a good first day? I saw that you already had some followers." Edward said with a crooked smile, obviously talking about Mike and Lauren and Jessica.

"I think my day was more boring than yours." I said, reaching over and tousling his hair gently. "People already have their noses in my business." I added with a huff, and Edward laughed, looking at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road. "They all think that because my dad knows their parents, we should be friends. It ridiculous. I didn't even _want_ to come back to school…I only did because of you and my dad."

The situation between Edward and I was…complicated. We weren't married, we weren't engaged, and we weren't in love, but we had a beautiful six month old daughter together. And we had only known each other for a little over a year, because Avery Marie Cullen had been conceived when we were both drunk at party. I wasn't ashamed of the way my daughter was brought into the world, because I loved her more than life itself. But Edward was a good person. When I had tracked him down and told him I was pregnant, he took initiative. The first problem we had to take care of was the fact that Edward had been twenty and I was only seventeen at the time. Abortion wasn't an option- I could never do that. And I thought about adoption…but eventually decided against that as well. So here I was, and eighteen year old high school student with a daughter. Edward had gone to my dad, who had been understandably pissed off. Wouldn't you be, if a legal adult got your seventeen year old daughter knocked up?

Charlie was mad, to say the least. But he knew that I couldn't raise a baby on my own. Edward and I barely knew each other, but we wanted to at least try and stay together for the sake of our unborn child. So Charlie laid down the law. As long as I got my high school diploma, he would allow Edward and I to live together and raise Avery together. Our relationship was legal now, as I had just turned eighteen two months ago, but we still relied heavily on my dad to babysit Avery on days when I had to go to school and Edward had to work.

So far, no one in Forks knew the scandal of the police chief's daughter. Edward and I were extremely low key- we lived in a small apartment right near my dad's house and mostly kept to ourselves. But now that I was eighteen and we were situated in Forks, hiding our relationship was no longer necessary. Although my dad would prefer for us to stay under the radar, I no longer really cared, except for when it came to the kids at school. I didn't want people to just think of me as the girl with the baby. Like I said, I was only in high school to complete the promise I had made to my father.

My mother and father were divorced, and my mom still lived back in Seattle. She didn't want much to do with me and Edward, or her granddaughter for that matter. But I didn't care. If she didn't want to be around me, then she wasn't worth the trouble. Charlie and I agreed on that fact.

"What time do you think you'll be home tonight?" I asked Edward quietly, and he shook his head.

"Probably not until midmorning." Edward said, scrunching up his eyebrows as he pulled the car into the parking lot of our apartment building. "You'll have to talk Avery to your dad's house for the day."

I nodded, biting my lip. "What are we going to do when Charlie has to work or is on a fishing trip? We don't have enough money to pay for a daycare." I reminded Edward. "And there's no one else who can watch her." I said as we got out of the car. I opened the back door and unstrapped Avery's carrier. Edward didn't say anything in response, so I just slammed the car door shut and handed Edward the baby carrier so I could hold my book bag. "We don't have to worry about it now- we'll figure it out when we need to."

We climbed the stairs up to the fourth floor, and Edward waited patiently while I fumbled in my book bag for the keys. When I finally got the door open we walked into the apartment in silence, and I was once again reminded that Edward and I did not have a _real_ relationship. He was the father of my child. We kissed, we slept in the same bed on nights that Edward didn't have to work, and we had a child together. But he didn't call me his girlfriend, and I certainly didn't call him my boyfriend. We paid the bills together and grocery shopped together…but was that a real relationship?

I didn't know. But for now, that was more than enough more me.

……

"Shh…hush, baby!" I hissed, desperately rocking Avery and forth in her carrier as she continued to cry and scream. She had been teething for the past week or so, and every single night had been as bad as this. Unfortunately, Edward had said he would be working all night so I was home alone with a screaming child as I tried to study for my biology test. "Why won't you be quiet?" I asked urgently, almost ready to cry myself. It was past midnight and I was nowhere close to being ready for the test I had tomorrow after lunch.

Another hour or so passed, and Avery was still crying, although it had diminished slightly. I was slowly losing my mind, unable to concentrate on anything other than the crying baby sitting in her carrier by my feet. And then my salvation came.

I heard the key in the lock and the front door creaked open, and then Edward quietly walked in through the door, holding a bag of takeout food in his hand. His tee shirt was rumpled and he looked almost as tired as I was. "Hey. What are you still doing up?" He asked, and I raised my eyebrows at him, gesturing to the open book in front of me and the notes scattered across the coffee table.

"I have a test tomorrow." I explained in a flat voice, and then continued to rock Avery's carrier with my foot. "She's teething, I think, and she won't go to sleep or even stop crying."

Edward knelt down and picked Avery up, shushing her as he cradled her tiny body against his chest. Edward walked into the kitchen area and opened the freezer door, rooting around until he found something. "The other day when you told me she was teething, I put these in the freezer. It's just something I heard about." He explained, holding up the frozen washcloth.

"Oh. Thanks." I said, leaning back on the couch as Avery contentedly chewed on the washcloth. After only several minutes her dark green eyes started to droop, and in no time at all she was fast asleep.

"I'll go put her down." Edward murmured, and then disappeared down the hallway towards Avery's room for a few minutes. When he emerged, he checked the time on the microwave and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm going to bed…I probably won't be awake until later this morning. Have e good day, and you and I can pick Avery up from your dad's house when I pick you up from school."

And that was it. He turned away and walked into our room, leaving me alone in the dark living room.

**......**

**Well…what do you think? I'm really busy this week so I don't know when I'll update again. It shouldn't be too long. **

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so glad that you guys liked the first chapter! I really try and do original/unique storylines…but that's sometimes insanely hard to accomplish when there are like over 100,000 Twilight stories on FanFiction. So again, thanks oh so much. And please, keep up with the awesome reviews. I can't thank all of you enough to express how much it really means!**

**If you're new to me (you know, as a writer) then you should probably known that I'm insanely pregnant right now, and I'm due on May 26 with a girl, who my husband and I have nicknamed Baby Bee. I'm incredibly random sometimes, but you'll get used to it…eventually. **

**The man-child brigade came over tonight and accosted me until I got this chapter out, even though it's a little shorter than I would have preferred. Some of you know about the wondrous members of the man child brigade, and they all say hi.**

……

"Hi. Are you Bella Swan?" I glanced up from my seat in the library, my eyes heavy with lack of sleep. A short girl with choppy brown hair stood before me, wearing trendy low rise jeans and a shirt that looked like it would have expensive, designer tags. Unlike the cheap jeans and tee shirt ensemble that I wore daily, her outfit looked perfectly put together and planned out.

"Yeah." I said shortly, and then went back to flipping through my biology notes, hoping she would take the hint.

But the girl didn't leave. "Cool. I'm Alice Brandon. I wasn't at school yesterday, but everyone told me we had a new student." She said lightly. "And you may think I'm annoying now, but I can tell that you and I will be great friends." I glanced up at her through my eyelashes, raising my eyebrows skeptically. Alice laughed and shook her head, sitting down next to me. "Sorry. I know I'm a lot to take in at first. But hey, my parents know your dad. They'll probably show up at your house tonight bearing a welcome basket."

I nodded absentmindedly, not wanting to tell this random girl that I didn't live with my father. "I think _everyone _in Forks knows the Chief." I said dryly. "Look, Alice, can we continue this later? I…I didn't get much sleep last night and I really need to do well on this test." I explained, and Alice quickly stood up.

"That's fine! Hey, why don't you sit with me and my friends at lunch?" Alice suggested brightly, and before I could say anything she patted me on the shoulder. "Great. We sit at the table by the big windows in the corner." She said, and then hurried out of the library.

I sat still for a moment, and then smiled slightly. Alice really wasn't too bad. Sure, she was a lot more enthusiastic than I was, but she seemed nice enough. And I really didn't want to have to endure another lunch with Mike Newton and Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley.

**......**

I was late to my first period class. Mike Newton furrowed his eyebrows, mouthing, "Where were you?"

Holding back the urge to roll my eyes, I just smiled and mouthed back, "Library."

It was then that I noticed that Alice Brandon was also in my first hour class. Another kid was there, one that hadn't been here yesterday either. He was sitting next to Alice, and he had curly blonde hair and a tall, gangly figure. As I took my seat and apologized to the teacher, Alice winked at me and elbowed the boy in the stomach, pointing over in my direction. I saw them talking quietly, glancing at me, but I just focused my attention on the teacher.

When the teacher gave us time to work in class and said we could work in groups, Alice was immediately at my side, the tall blonde guy lagging behind her. "Hi, Bella. Do you want to work together?" She asked eagerly, and I just thought for a moment before agreeing. "This is Jasper." Alice said, pointing to the boy as he dragged over two desks, one for her as well as one for himself. "He's my BFF." She added, and I saw Jasper wince slightly at the term.

"I'm Bella." I offered.

"He knows." Alice interrupted, sitting down in her seat and propping her elbows up.

"I can talk for myself, Al." Jasper chuckled, and then winked at me as he sat down in his own desk. "Hi, Bella. Like Alice said…I'm just her BFF." I noticed the subtle _just_ that Jasper included in his phrasing, and I wondered what was really going on there.

But before I could say anything in response, someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey, can I work with you guys?" It was Mike. Jasper and Alice and I agreed after a moment's hesitation, moving our desks over so that Mike could fit in. It didn't take long for Mike to figure out that we really weren't planning to work on our assignment, that we were just talking. "Mike, are you dating Jessica?" Alice asked bluntly, cutting into the conversation and staring right at Mike with a questioning look on her face. Mike looked startled for a moment, and cast a glance over at me.

"Um, no? I mean, I really don't think so…I mean, we went to a movie last week but Lauren Mallory and Tyler Crowley were with us so I didn't think that counted. It's not a date if you're with a group, I think. Or do you think that Jessica-"

"Okay." Alice said with a smile, cutting him off. "I was just wondering." And then she changed the subject…she was practically bipolar. "Bella, are _you _dating anyone?" She asked, and I stiffened slightly as I thought of Edward. "Ooh…you're blushing! Who's the guy?"

I shook my head, ducking my head slightly. "Not really." I said, trying not to reveal anything. "He's just…a guy." I said shortly. "From back in Seattle."

"A long distance relationship?" Alice asked sympathetically, and I just shrugged my shoulders. "That must be hard. I get it, one time I dated a guy that lived in Port Angeles. But I got bored of it after like a week."

"Some people are different, Alice." Jasper said softly, putting his hand on Alice's shoulder. "And you change your mind _constantly_, no one was surprised when you and that guy broke up. Not even Rosalie, and she's your best friend." Jasper pointed out.

Alice's face brightened for a moment, ignoring Jasper, and glanced over at me. "Rosalie is my other best friend. And Emmet, he's her boyfriend. The four of us skipped school yesterday to spend the day in Port Angeles. But shh, don't tell!" Alice said happily, and I looked towards Jasper, silently agreeing with him about the whole 'Alice changes her mind constantly' thing.

Maybe these people, Jasper and Alice and the other two they spoke of, could be the only friends I would need until I finally got the hell out of this high school

**......**

**I hope you enjoyed that one as well! We'll be seeing more Avery/Edward/Bella time in the next chapter, don't worry. And we'll be meeting Charlie as well. I'm pretty busy this weekend, my brother is graduating high school, but I should be able to update on Monday. **

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	3. Author's Note

**Hi, everyone. So this isn't Mellie, it's her friend Keely. At 12:54 am central time, Mellie gave birth to a **_**beautiful**_** little girl after going into labor yesterday after (about ten days early). Mother and daughter are both doing great, and Mellie just wanted to let everyone know that everything is good and that she hopes to update again soon. Also, thank you for all the kind wishes throughout her entire pregnancy, I know that it meant a lot to her and Jensen. Like I said, the baby is a girl and weighed in at six pounds three ounces and is named Blakely Olivia Anderson. **

**Again, thanks for all the kind words and support. **

**Mellie says that she wants to try and update this weekend, but obviously she might not be able to. I'll probably type it up for her, and she says the next one she wants to update is either 'Commander in Chief' or 'Eye of the Beholder'. **

**Xoxo- Mellie, Jensen, Blakely and Keely.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is Keely again. Mellie, stubborn lady that she is, wanted to update and gave me her rough draft for this chapter and trusted me to type it up for her and get it updated for all of you. She had the majority of it all typed up and ready to go, I just had to add some things that she wanted and do the final run through proofread. So here it is...we hope you like it.**

**Mellie and Jensen say thank you so much for the thoughts and congratulations. Mellie and Blakely are still doing great and the family is gorgeous!**

……

I could tell, by the way Jasper was looking at Alice, that he definitely didn't want to just be her 'BFF'. Was Alice _blind_? The look in his eyes…I would kill for Edward to look at me like that, and he was the father of my child. He was totally in love with her, and she didn't even see it. Hell, I had known the two of them for a matter of hours and I could already tell. It was a little pathetic, really. Alice just talked and talked and Jasper sat there, hanging on to every word she said and looking at her like a sad little puppy dog.

Alice had introduced me to their friends Emmet and Rosalie as well, and they were pretty intimidating. Both of them were gorgeous, just like Jasper and Alice were, and they were extremely touchy feely with each other. I understood handholding and hugging and some thigh gripping and kissing…but this was making me a little uncomfortable. They hadn't stopped sucking face since we sat down…almost twenty minutes ago.

"Bella? Do you want to come with me?" Alice asked, and I snapped out of my thoughts. "Daydreaming about the boyfriend?" She teased, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, blushing. "Lighten up." She chided. "I was just asking if you wanted to go to with me to Port Angeles this weekend. I need to get a new pair of shoes and I don't want to go alone."

"I'll go." Jasper volunteered immediately, but Alice shook her head.

She patted Jasper's arm. "I really want some girl time, Jazz. We can do something Sunday." She said nonchalantly. "Well…Bella, are you up for it?"

I hesitated, knowing that Edward had to work all day Saturday and that I couldn't rely on Charlie to watch Avery every weekend. "I'm sorry, Alice, I really can't. I have to unpack and settle in and stuff, plus catch up on my homework." I said, hoping Alice would just buy my excuse and let it drop. "It's fine, why don't you just go with Jasper?

Alice pouted for a moment, and then sighed. "Alright, Jasper, it'll be just me and you then. You want to drive?" And with that, I tuned out of the conversation again, thinking back to my life at home and what my evening would consist of.

Edward and I would have to pick up Avery from Charlie's house right after school, and then we would pick up dinner from the diner. Afterwards, I had laundry and homework to get done. After not getting to bed until two this morning, I knew that tonight would probably be just as late. My day was dragging on, and it was even worse knowing that I would probably end up not doing very well on the biology test I had attempted to cram for. By the time school finally got out and I made my way out to the parking lot, I was unbelievably relieved to see that Edward wasn't running late and that he was waiting for me in the car.

"Hi." He said, leaning over the console and pecking me on the lips as I slid into the passenger's seat. "Good day?" He asked, putting the car in reserve and practically whipping out of his parking spot.

I gripped the door handle, trying to avoid getting whiplash. "Not too bad." I sighed, rubbing my forehead and clinging onto the handle as Edward whipped out of the parking lot and onto the road to my dad's house. "I think I made some new friends."

"That's good." Edward murmured halfheartedly, although I knew that he didn't really know what that meant to me. "You had a biology test this afternoon, right? How did that go?"

I smiled slightly, touched that he had remembered such a trivial detail when he had so much on his plate. "Oh…not too good." I admitted, watching out the window as we neared my dad's house, which was only a few blocks away from the school. "I don't think I failed…but I probably got a C." I said with a sigh, and Edward patted my hand.

"Sorry I had to work last night." He murmured, but I shook off his apology.

"Edward, it's fine. You have to work, I know that. And I appreciate that." I said earnestly, and Edward leaned over the console and kissed me again just after he pulled into Charlie's driveway.

Edward smiled crookedly, cupping the side of my face with one of his hands. "Anything for you and Avery." He said lightly, and then glanced up towards the house. "The Chief has spotted us, we had better go in." We got out of the car and approached the house, walking up the steps of the porch and opening the screen door, walking right into the house.

"Hey, Dad!" I called, and Charlie appeared in the hallway, holding Avery's bag in one hand.

"Hey, Bells." He said, walking forward and handing Edward Avery's bag. "Edward." He added, nodding politely in his direction. "Come on…Avery just woke up from her nap." Charlie said, turning around and leading Edward and I into the living room. Sure enough, Avery was in her playpen, sitting up and chewing on a teething toy.

"Baby!" I exclaimed, hurrying over to her side and scooping her up eagerly. "Oh, mommy missed you, little girl!" I said softly, cradling her warm body against me and kissing the top of her head. "Were you good for Grandpa Charlie today, punkin?" I asked, and then turned to my dad. "Thanks for watching her…again." I said, giving Charlie an awkward one armed hug.

Laughing, Charlie tweaked Avery's nose. "She's no problem, honey. In fact, she keeps me company." He said, and then checked his watch. "I don't mean to kick you kids out, but I have to get to my shift at the station. When do I get to see you again?" He asked as Edward took Avery from me to strap her into her carrier.

"Hopefully this weekend." I said, tucking a piece of my hair behind my hair. "Edward has to work on Saturday, so I might drop by with Avery for a little while."

"Sounds good." Charlie said as we all walked out of the house together. We said our goodbyes and Edward strapped Avery into the backseat of our car as Charlie locked up the house. By the time we got out on the road, I was starving and ready to go home and spend the evening with Avery and Edward.

But there was always this horrible little part of me that wanted things to go back to normal. And there was an even worse part of me, one that was growing every day, that made me want to just give up and run away and get the hell away from what my life had become.

**......**

**Uh-oh. Review please!**

**Xoxo- Mellie and Keely (and baby Blakely!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys. This is Mellie, all on my own! Blakely is sound asleep…you know, for now. I started typing this chapter around noon, so let's see how long it takes me to get done. Hopefully I can get this one out by tonight. I want to thank each and every one of you for your reviews and your support and congratulations. I appreciate them oh so much, and I really am sorry that I haven't had the time to reply to any of them. These last couple of days have been a blur, obviously! Blakely is absolutely adorable and Jensen and I are so in love with her!**

**So I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, even though it's a bit on the short side. Let me know what you thought in a review, if you would be so inclined.**

……

"I have a Spanish quiz tomorrow." I muttered, but I tangled my hands in Edward's hair anyways. "I should study. I don't want the teacher to think I don't care or that-" I continued my protests, but I really don't think Edward really cared as he continued to kiss me. "It's late." I was still protesting, but I did not stop kissing him. We were sprawled out on the couch, wrapped around each other. Avery was fast asleep in her room, and Edward didn't have to work tonight, so I knew what that meant. Make out session, sex, and then bed. And then I would be exhausted at school tomorrow morning. But it was a deal I would take.

I was in a daze as we both slipped out of our clothes and I let myself relax and melt into his touch as his hands wandered all over my body, and I cried out softly as his fingers slid inside of me, moving in and out at a leisurely pace. I raked my nails down his bare back, kissing him fiercely. This was how it is with Edward. Sweet and slow and perfect. It didn't matter that we were not in love with each other- we understood each other and genuinely cared for each other. I lay spread out of the couch, panting and trying to get my head on straight as Edward pulled away from me for a moment to get a condom. We certainly didn't go without _those _anymore.

Every time we had sex, a little part of me was scared. I loved Avery with everything that I had, and I cared about Edward, but everything in my life would have been a lot easier if I hadn't gotten pregnant at such a young age. I didn't know if I would want any more children, but if I did, they wouldn't be coming until I was out of college. So now, Edward and I were painstakingly careful with contraception.

"Fuck." Edward spat, and I groaned loudly as he slipped inside of me, relishing in every ounce of wonderful, physical pleasure that Edward gave me. "You feel so good, Bella." He murmured, kissing my neck and jaw frantically, one of his hands on my chest and the other slipped down further below, rubbing me right _there_. I laid beneath him, unable to form a real coherent thought as he whispered deliciously dirty and sweet words into my ear. How did he even form speech at a time like this? I felt like every single inch of my body was on fire because of Edward's ministrations.

"Dear God…" I managed to moan, clenching my eyes shut and digging my nails into Edward's back as the ultimate wave of euphoria washed over my body, clenching around him.

Edward smiled against my neck, pumping into me and faster as he found his own release. "Damn." He muttered after we were both finished, wrapped around each other. "You are so beautiful." Edward said softly, planting a soft kiss on my temple as he pulled out of me. "Just a second." He said, and started to get up to get rid of the used condom.

"Oh, I can get that for you. Go get ready for bed, and I'll be right there." I said, reaching over and taking the condom from him. I wrapped a blanket around my naked body and practically stumbled into the bathroom, tying of the condom and throwing it away before going to the bathroom and washing my face off. As I started brushing my teeth, Edward slipped into the bathroom as well, closing the door behind him and reaching for his own toothbrush. I shifted over, making room for him at the sink. "Hey." I mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Hey." Edward murmured, and then started brushing his teeth. And then we were both silent, and Edward didn't speak again until we were crawling into bed. "I don't have to work tomorrow. Avery can stay with me." He said, sliding under the sheets with me.

I nodded sleepily as Edward tossed one of his arms around me, cradling me against him. "What are you two going to do?" I asked curiously.

Edward sighed, kissing one of my shoulder blades. "I don't know. James said something about-"

I shuddered reflexively at the mention of James Hunter. He and Edward had been good friends since high school, but the guy honestly gave me a weird feeling. "I don't like him." I said, cutting Edward off. "And I don't want him around our daughter." I turned slightly to look over my shoulder at Edward to see him frowning at me. I frowned right back, shaking my head. "Edward, he creeps me out!" I complained, running one of my hands across his bare chest. "Every time he looks at me I just get this terrible feeling…"

"Fine. No James, at least not around Avery." Edward conceded, kissing me on the lips before I turned back around and pressed my back up against his chest. "Now go to sleep."

……

I was early to school the next morning, heading straight to the library to try and study a little bit for the Spanish quiz that I had second hour. But when I got to the table that I usually sat at, Alice was already sitting there, her arms crossed across her chest.

"Hi." I said cautiously, setting my bag down at the table. Alice looked up at me, her eyebrows furrowed.

"You don't have to lie to me, Bella. I'm a big girl, I can take it." Alice snapped suddenly, and I took a step backwards in surprise. "I went to your dad's house last night to see if you changed your mind about going to dinner with me, and your dad said, and I quote, 'she's with her boyfriend'." I winced, knowing that Charlie didn't like lies, but fully approved of little white lies. "You said you were busy. I get it that you want to hang out with your boyfriend, but just don't _lie_ to me, okay?" Alice hissed.

I nodded, knowing that was nothing else I could say, except for to continue lying. "I'm sorry, Alice. I really was going to study and then he called and…um, convinced me to go out. I didn't mean to lie to you." And that was another lie, because I was going to keep lying to Alice. She didn't need to know about my life. I could have friends, but I didn't need anyone messing around in my messed up personal life.

**......**

**Well there you have it. I promised a sex scene between Edward and Bella…and that was it. Like I said, please review!**

**Xoxo- Mellie (and baby Blakely!)**


	6. Chapter 6

**It's been over a week, and I've missed you guys oh so much. But thanks for sticking with me. Blakely is still doing great, she just isn't really into...you know, sleeping or letting us sleep. But it's okay because Jensen and I love her anyway! I know Bella and Edward seem hopeless, but I promise that won't always be the case. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.**

**On a different note, I have another short story out. It was originally supposed to be a two shot, but now it's a three shot and has one chapter left. It's called' Toujours' and I have to warm you right now that the story really is a tearjerker, which I will apologize in advance for. So go check it out! Pretty please?**

…

It was finally Saturday.

My first week attending Forks High School had been uneventful and entirely boring. Apart from the mini-drama with Alice, nothing remotely interesting had happened to me at school. Actually, nothing remotely interesting had happened to me at home, either. Edward had been working nights throughout the rest of the week, leaving me home alone with Avery during the night. School hadn't been going much better. After failing my Spanish quiz, I had forgotten my biology lab and was now behind in both classes. Add in the unwanted attention I was continuing to get from my peers, and my week was complete shit.

It was over now, and I wanted to move past it.

"Dad? Where are you?" I called out as I walked in through the front door of Charlie's house, shifting Avery in my arms as I did so. I peeked around the corner into the kitchen as I passed, but Charlie wasn't in there. So I continued to the living room, humming under my breath in Avery's ear. She gurgled contently and yanked on the end of my ponytail, making me wince slightly. I rounded the corner into Charlie's living room and stopped short, my mouth dropping open.

Standing there in Charlie's living room was none other than Alice Brandon. She was talking with Charlie, and when I walked into the room she turned her head slightly and smiled, but the smile slid off her face as she saw the six month old baby in my arms. Alice blinked and looked from Avery to me, a furrow forming between her two perfect eyebrows. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could get any words out I turned around on my heel and hurried back out to the front door, clutching Avery tightly to my chest as hot tears formed in my eyes. When I made it out to the car I quickly strapped Avery into the backseat, wiping my tears away with my shirtsleeve as I did so. As soon as I shut the door and opened the driver's door, the front door to the house shot open and Alice was hurrying towards me. Before she could make her way to the car, I quickly got in and peeled out of the driveway.

How could I have not realized that the car parked on the side of the road was Alice's? The bright yellow color suited her perfectly…

I glanced in my rearview mirror as I drove and gritted my teeth when I realized that Alice was fucking following me. Who the hell did she think she was? I was all for being friends, but Alice was taking this way too far. Last time I checked, friends don't act like crazy ass stalkers.

I didn't want to go back to our apartment, not with Alice following me. So instead I changed course and headed straight to the diner where Edward worked on weekends. Not taking a moment to pause, I parked the car and quickly unstrapped Avery from her car seat, hefting her into my arms and making my way into the diner with Alice practically right on my heels.

Thank god Edward was on a break. He was sitting towards the back of the diner, hunched over a book. I stomped over to his side, my jaw clenching as I heard the door to the diner open. Edward looked up as I approached, smiling when he recognized Avery and I. "Hey, baby, what's…" Edward trailed over, the smile on his face replaced by a slight frown as he noticed my distress and the girl that was currently breathing down my neck. I knew my face was bright red as I nudged Edward over and sat next to him in the booth. Without any kind of hesitation, Alice sat down across from us, her hands folded across her lap. "What the hell is going on?" Edward murmured in my ear, his voice low and curious.

"This is Alice." I murmured back. Edward nodded, pursing his lips and glancing back over at Alice.

"Is this your daughter?" Alice asked in a hushed voice, and I stiffened slightly before nodding. Alice nodded, looking intently at Avery, who was oblivious to all the tension radiating around us. "What's her name?"

Edward spoke up. "Avery." He said, moving the book he had been reading to the side and putting his arm around my shoulders.

"She's beautiful." Alice murmured, and I nodded in thanks. There was a long, awkward pause, and then Alice continued to speak. "Bella, I…I understand why you didn't want to tell me. Or anyone, for that matter. But you really don't have to worry about me. I'm not going to judge you or tell people or anything like that. I've told you before…please don't lie to me. I promise that you can trust me with anything."

"I've known you for less than a week." I pointed out, nervously playing with Avery's silky hair. "And the way you've acted…no offense, Alice, but you seem nosy and I really do not know if you would tell. I'm trying to protect myself here." Alice nodded stiffly, and then glanced over at Edward, which I took notice of. "This is Edward. My boyfriend and…um, Avery's father." I explained.

Alice smiled slightly, extending her hand towards Edward. "Hi, Edward. I'm Alice, Bella's new friend. It's nice to meet you."

Edward chuckled under his breath, shaking Alice's hand firmly. "Nice to meet you too, Alice." He said, a smile on his lips. Fucking traitor.

"I'm still mad at you." I said to Alice, pursing my lips. "Why were you even at Charlie's house this morning?"

"If you must know, I was going to invite you to a party at Mike Newton's house tonight." Alice said. "I knew you would be at home all day today, so I just…I don't know, I was just going to come over at tell you. I didn't think you'd have a problem with that, because everyone else doesn't."

"I'm not like everyone else. My _life_ isn't like everyone else's, Alice. You had no way of knowing, but still. I would appreciate a little privacy, if it's not too much to ask."

Alice's face softened slightly, and she reached across the table and gripped my hand in hers. "I understand Bella. But please, don't push me away. I know that you and I could be great friends, if you let it happen. I promise that I'll be more…cautious. I won't get in your business and I won't stop by your dad's house." Alice promised, and I relaxed, finally able to manage a smile.

Edward saw and smiled as well, kissing my temple. "I have to get back to my shift." He said in my ear, nodding his head towards the counter. "You guys can stay here…I'll bring you by some food, on the house." I got out of the booth and let him leave, kissing him firmly on the lips before sitting back down and facing Alice, who spoke again immediately.

"Will you…can you explain things to me?"

…

**Please review, okay? I would really appreciate it! **

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	7. Chapter 7

**So…a lot of questions to answer. This is going to be an epic author's note, by the way.**

**Even though Bella and Edward have a daughter, they aren't exactly a couple. They call each other boyfriend and girlfriend…but it's more casual than that. It's hard to explain; I'll make sure to cover that in the story when the time is right. So they have sex, kiss, and refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend but are not an official couple (Just to clarify things for you).**

**James is going to play an itsy bitsy role in the story. He's not a nice guy, but I promise he's not going to eff up anyone. **

**Sorry to announce that as off right now, I have no plans for EPOV. Maybe we'll hear from him in the last chapter or an outtake…something like that. Otherwise, I promise that he and Bella will do enough talkin' so that you can figure some stuff out.**

**Hmm…what else? Edward and Bella do 'feel for each other', just not in the typical way…we'll get an indication of his feelings pretty soon…yep, he moved to Forks with her for both Bella and Avery- he doesn't want to let either of them down. The question of his job will be answered in this chapter (although I will say right here that he works in the diner on weekends)…and Bella getting pregnant changed his life **_**a lot**_**, but you don't get to figure that out yet. P.S. this entire paragraph is for Twilight44 for all these kickass questions that I finally answered for you!**

**And now we go on with the story, folks. If you've got anymore questions just ask and I'll answer them ASAP, probably in the next chapter. (Yep, that was a freaking long author's note…sorry about that, I guess.)**

…

I took a deep breath and looked at Alice warily. "Give me a second." I murmured, holding Avery against me and closing my eyes for a moment. "Okay." I said, letting out a long, deep breath. "Edward and I met at a party about a year ago. It was one of the first times I had a lot of alcohol and I got drunk pretty fast. And the next thing I knew, I lost my virginity to a twenty year old that I had just met. God…we did it in the fucking bathroom at our friend's house." I made sure to cover Avery's ears when I said 'fuck'. "It was a mistake, Alice, but I could never regret it. I screwed up my life, and Edward's, but look what we got out of that one mistake." I ducked my head and kissed Avery's soft, pudgy cheek as she nuzzled against me. "I'm moving on with my life. The only reason I'm even going to high school is because I promised my dad and Edward. Besides, I owe it to Avery to get a good education and a job."

"Why the big secrecy, Bella? You're eighteen years old now…why are you still keeping to so quiet?" Alice asked, and she reached across the table, gently touching Avery's cheek.

"Because this isn't my life, Alice. I don't want to be the high school student with the older boyfriend and the baby…I just want to move on with everything. High school isn't the same for me…it's just a pit stop. I've already got so much responsibility and stress going on. I already have a 'grown up' _life_ no matter how unconventional it is."

Alice pursed her lips, looking at me intently. "I get it." She said gently. Then she glanced over her shoulder to where Edward stood, taking someone's order, and smiled. "He's a good guy?"

"One of the best, I think." I said easily, bouncing Avery up and down slightly. "Most guys, especially older ones, would just get the hell away from a situation like ours. But when I told Edward I was pregnant…he kind of stepped in and took responsibility. He talked to my dad and explained to Charlie and I both how he was planning to provide for me. He dropped out of college after his sophomore year, but he's going back next semester. Our relationship is far from perfect; I don't even know how to fully describe it…we're unconventional and we don't always get each other and we fight, but in the end I know Edward is always going to be there for Avery and I. And in our situation, that's all I can really hope for."

"I don't think I would be able to handle all of that if I were in your shoes." Alice admitted, shaking her hand slightly and toying with one of the salt shakers that sat on the table next to the napkin dispenser. "If you don't mind me asking…how did his family take it? And your dad has obviously at least accepted it…but what about your mom?"

I bit my lip and brushed a piece of my hair out of my eyes. "Edward doesn't have much to do with his family. I can't really tell you why, but they haven't been in contact for a while now." I said, and Alice raised her eyebrows at me. "I know. It's complicated. And yeah, my dad has pretty much accepted things. He's totally in love with Avery, and he's polite to Edward. I know it was hard on him…me having to grow up so fast, but Charlie has really been a huge help. My mom, on the other hand…now that's a different story. My dad met her when he moved to Seattle from Forks nineteen years ago. Not long after, I was born. My parents stayed together until I was fifteen, but it was obvious they weren't really a couple anymore. When they got divorced I lived with my mom. But when I got pregnant…she kicked me out of the house immediately and Charlie was the one to take me in. My mom, Renée, was just so disgusted with me, and disappointed. She doesn't want anything to do with me, or with Avery." I explained, continuing to cradle Avery in my arms as she started to drift off to sleep.

Alice huffed softly under her breath, making me smile slightly. Alice and I hadn't known each other for very long…but she was so _concerned_. "Bella Swan, you're a brave person." She said. "I'm glad to call you a friend."

"Aw…thanks, Alice." I said, blushing slightly as she stood and leaned across the table to give me a hug. "I'm glad to call you my friend, too."

She beamed with pride, checking the time on her phone after settling back down in her chair. "Oh, I've got to go!" Alice exclaimed. "Jasper and I are going to have to leave soon." With that, she blew Avery and I each a kiss and started gathering up her things. "Bella, thank you so much for the talk and for explaining things. It means a lot to me that we can trust each other fully now."

"Me too." I said honestly. Because it was true. Although I would prefer for no one else at school to know about my life, it did feel good to be able to confide in someone like Alice. Someone who was my age but hasn't gone through the things I have in the past year.

"Bye, Bella. I'll see you in school on Monday, and I promise I won't tell a soul about anything we talked about today." Alice swore, getting up from the table.

"Bye, Alice. And thanks again…for everything." I said, waving as she left the diner with a bounce in her step.

Once she was gone, I sat in silence, planning to drown myself in my own thoughts. I looked down at Avery and frowned slightly, wondering where my youth had gone. But before I could get start to get lost in my thoughts, Edward sat down across from me at the table in the seat that Alice had just vacated minutes before.

"How did that go?" He asked quietly, and I shrugged my shoulders. Edward ran one of his hands through his hair, exhaling loudly and giving me a solid, kind look. "I know it's hard for you to keep my secrets, but thank you."

…

**Ehh…we do need some EPOV now. As I see what I have to explain about him, EPOV is a must and it should be coming up pretty soon. I'm hoping for it to be in the next chapter, but with the way I write…let's see how that turns out.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here it is…the promised EPOV. It took less time than I thought to write, so I was able to update earlier than planned. I hope you like it; I know Edward isn't portrayed very well in this chapter. SPOILER ALERT: Over the next couple of chapters, Bella is the one you're going to hate. In this chapter…uch, Edward isn't the guy we know and love. It flashes through the last couple of years and explains some of the secrets he's got. It's basically just showing some of the things he's gone through in his life.**

**Answering a few more questions: Yes, Edward is really Avery's father. Yes, Bella knows everything about Edward's rocket past and you will too (soon!). And Yes, Bella is only staying with Edward because he's the father of her baby, he's good to her, and…that's pretty much it. **

**Only eleven reviews for the last chapter? I appreciate any reviews at all…but why has the number gone down? Please continue to review, though, and tell me what you're thinking and how you like the story. Again, I answer all questions the best I can.**

…

EPOV, October, 17 Years Old:

I drink and do drugs. It's nearly every night now. I don't give a fuck want my parents think or say- Carlisle and Esme Cullen, just sticking their noses in my business. They might be my parents, but they don't know a single thing about me and they don't care. I haven't been home for three weeks, so it's not really home anymore. I sleep on my friends James' couch and its good enough for me.

All these people, clustered around James and I, they all know who we are. But I don't know them- not their names or faces or anything else. All I know are their drugs of choice and how much they're going to want. It's cocaine tonight, some that James just got in. He's only a year older than me but he's been dealing drugs since he was fifteen. I don't know where he gets it; I don't want to know, so I don't bother to ask. He sets up the lines for the both of us, and then hands me a rolled up bill.

It feels good; better than I've felt before in my life. Because it doesn't matter.

March, 17 Years Old:

The pain in my chest was getting heavier. The constant coughing doesn't help, either. And I would do anything for a line of cocaine right now. The withdrawal- it hurts so bad that I'm constantly thinking that I would rather do so much coke that I blow out my nose than go through this for any longer. Rebab is shit; I'm not even sure why I'm here after the first two months have been this bad.

What I really want, but refuse to admit, is to go home with my parents. Because there, I'm taken care of. Esme would be annoying and nosy as always but would do my laundry and cook my meals. Carlisle would be an ass and act like he knew all, but he'd also help me apply for colleges. I was past that, though. I had left them, and now there was no way they would let me back into their home. They hadn't seen me hit rock bottom, but I guess they've figured it out by now. I gave the rehabilitation clinic permission to send them a letter when I checked in, since I'm only seventeen and had no way to pay. Although they didn't try and contact me, they did, however, pay for it. But that was all, nothing more and nothing less. I didn't have the guts to thank them, and I knew I would be too ashamed to face them when I got out of here.

In return, I would never bother them again.

April, 19 Years Old:

I hate college. I got my GED after finishing rehab, but college feels absolutely pointless to me. I don't even know what I want to do; I haven't declared my major yet even though I'm finishing up my sophomore year now. And the people here are intolerable. As a recovering drug addict, I'm not supposed to drink. But everyone around me seems to be doing just that. It may sound like a pointless stereotype, but it's also so true in this case.

After the end of this semester, I'm done. There's no point, I probably don't have enough money to finish up the next two years anyway. I'll get a job somewhere, save up some money, and maybe come back to college if I ever figure out what I ever want to do with myself and my life.

I still haven't gotten the courage to talk to my parents. Once, I found myself driving to the house, in the suburbs of Seattle, but I quickly turned the car around and drove around aimlessly instead.

January, 20 Years Old:

The room is spinning slightly and my head is pounding and I'm not even sure why I'm here. One of the guys I work with invited me to a party, and when I came I promptly got drunk. I'm still not supposed to drink…but it feels right. I know I'm drunk but I like the familiar feeling, I let it wash over me. There's a girl, a pretty brunette, standing near me, practically falling down drunk. She's tripping on the solid ground, unable to hold her herself up. Groaning to myself, I reach over and grab her arm, holding her steady.

And the next hour or so passes in a blur. All of a sudden the girl, Bella, and I are in the bathroom, groping each other and kissing frantically. She's not asking me to stop, and I don't want to. She feels good and makes me feel good. She's warm, and I've been so cold and numb. I don't stop, because Bella's still not asking me to. She wants more, and I give it to her. At one point I register that she must be a virgin, but by the time I process it…she's not anymore. Bella didn't ask me to wear a condom, so I didn't. I never thought that would be the moment to change my life forever.

March, 20 Years Old:

I came home from work at four, as usual, and I was stunned to see Bella perched on the stoop of my apartment building. She's just looking up at me, red nose and watery eyes, and I don't know what to say. "It's not safe for you to be sitting up here." Was all I could spit out, and Bella wordlessly stood up and looked at me.

"Edward, I'm pregnant." She said in a raw, cracked voice.

I just stare at her, at a loss for words, wondering how she even managed to find me. She stares right back, her jaw set and her arms folded across her chest. Finally, I find words. "Why don't you come inside…?"

We talked about a lot of stuff that night, agreeing that we would at least live together for the sake of our unborn child. She offers to take a paternity test once the baby is born, but I tell her it isn't necessary. I've known Bella for a very short time, and already I can tell that she's a bad liar, and she would be shit at poker. There's something about her, though, that I can't quite place my finger on. I have a feeler she's a lot stronger and braver than I'm giving her credit for. I can see that much in the way she hold herself, and I know that I can do this. I'm scared shitless to be a father, because I don't even know _how _to be a father. But she's scared shitless to be a mother, so we'll just be scared shitless together and hope that we don't permanently fuck our kid up.

I talk to her dad, and throughout the whole conversation I was sure he was going to pull the gun out of his belt and shoot me full of bullets for both deflowering his daughter and then getting her pregnant. At Seventeen. I didn't know she was seventeen and her age, among other things, is something I should have asked her that night. But I didn't bother, so now I'm going to have to man up and accept the consequences.

This situation isn't ideal or even wanted. But in some twisted, messed up way, it's giving me the kick in the ass I need to finally get my life back on track.

Present, 21 Years Old:

Bella knows all of my secrets. She's the only one that knows about the drugs, except for the people at the few meetings I went to and all the people I encountered in rehab and all the people I did drugs with. She knows about my family, she knows about my problems with myself, but she's still here. I know she doesn't love me, that she's just sticking around to give Avery a somewhat normal family, but that's okay. Because that's the only reason I'm sticking around too. I like Bella, but she's practically a child herself. She changes her mind in a split second, and she's unpredictable.

Half the time, I'm just waiting around for the day that she's going to walk out on me.

…

**So…what did you think of the insight in EPOV? I know it was off the way and kind of all over the place, but that's how Edward is in this story. Please review, and let me know what's on your mind.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	9. Chapter 9

**Back to BPOV for this chapter! I'm glad you all enjoyed EPOV. As I started looking at the outline for this story, I decided that while most of the chapter will be in BPOV, there will be a few more EPOV chapters. It's necessary for what I have planned. **

**I want to do an outtake of the conversation between Edward and Charlie after Bella got pregnant, but it won't be posted until this story is over. **

**Okay, to answer some more questions: Edward and Bella care for each other, but occasionally have casual sex. They're exclusive and sometimes call each other boyfriend/girlfriend, but it's a lot more complicated than that. And while Bella portrays herself as strong and confident, she's got a lot more problems below the surface, and right now you've just have to wait for everything to blow up. Yes, this Edward is sweet, but he has other things going on that kind of give him an edge. One last thing: Don't be mad at Edward. He's our friend in this story =)**

…

Alice made a beeline towards me at school on Monday morning, Jasper loyally tagging along beside her to where I was standing, alone by my locker. "Hi, Bella." She said, and gave me a big hug. "How was your weekend?"

"It was good." I replied, slipping off my backpack. "How was your day in Port Angeles?" I asked, directing the question towards Jasper as well.

"Good, thanks." Jasper said, and Alice nodded in agreement. "I've got to go talk to Mr. Banner for a minute before the bell rings…I'll see you guys in class." And then he hastily departed.

I watched him go, frowning slightly, and then turned my head to look at Alice. "Um…is he okay? He seems kind of jumpy."

Alice bit her lip, and I instantly knew that something was going on. "Our trip to Port Angeles started out totally normal…we fought about who got to drive and what music to listen to, like always. I go up to Port Angeles a lot, usually with Rosalie, but whenever she's busy Jasper comes instead. So we've made the drive together before, several times. But I don't know, Bella…something about this was really, really different. I shook my head, laughing quietly. "What?" Alice asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I haven't known you and Jasper for very long, but I'm pretty sure he likes you, Alice." I said, and Alice looked stunned. "Come on…how could you not see it? He hangs onto your every word, he follows you around, and he looks at you like you're his everything." Alice just stared at me, and I laughed again. "Just open your eyes, Alice. And you act the exact same, by the way."

"Oh my god…" Alice murmured, her eyes wide, and I knew that she was finally catching on. "Jasper…I've never really thought of him like that. Do you really think he likes me?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure of it. I've thought he liked you since, like, the first day I saw you guys together. And if you like him, I think you would be a really cute couple." I reassured her. "Do you want me to like…say something to him?"

Alice contemplated for a second, and then a uncharacteristic rosy blush appeared on her cheeks. "Um, sure. Thanks." I nodded, and then decided Alice would be less embarrassed if I just let the whole thing drop. Alice obviously had similar ideas. "Oh, and it was really nice to meet Edward on Saturday." She said, and then it was _my _turn to blush. "But I think you might be a little hypocritical, Bella?"

"What are you talking about? Um…how is that hypocritical, exactly?" I asked, my eyes widening in shock and surprise.

"You say that _I'm_ oblivious…but what about you? You say that you and Edward don't have a romance going on…but you two do give each other some pretty serious googly eyes. Are _you _sure there's nothing more going on there?" Alice questioned, and I clenched my jaw.

"I'm sure, Alice. He's…the father of my daughter. I don't feel for him…like that."

Alice raised her eyebrows skeptically, but thankful changed the subject again. But as she continued to talk, I let my thoughts wonder back to what Alice had said about Edward and I. It was true; our relationship was more than what most teenagers had together. But Edward…he and I were together because of Avery. He treated me well and took care of Avery and I, and I cared about him. That was the extent of my feelings for him. Maybe if we had meet under different circumstances or something, there could have been more there. But now the past is the past, and things aren't going to change between Edward and I.

…

As I sat on the sofa with Edward and Avery that night, I once again thought back to Alice's words. Sneaking a peak out of the corner of my eye, I looked at Edward carefully, wondering if Alice's suspicions could be true. But as I looked at him, I didn't feel anything different. Nothing at all…no pesky butterflies, no pounding heart, no telltale blush. Edward must have felt me looking at him, because he glanced over me with a smirk on his face.

"Is there something on your mind?" He asked, and I quickly shook my head.

"No…I just need to get some air. I'm going to go take a walk, okay?" Before Edward could reply, I stood up and handed him Avery, kissing both of him on the forehead before hurrying into our bedroom. I quickly slipped on a sweatshirt and a pair of tennis shoes. Then I left the apartment without saying goodbye.

…

**So I'm going to explain something: Bella isn't really what she seems. She's trying to act grown up and strong, when she's really just a normal teenager with a daughter and a whole lot of self esteem issues. And like Edward said, Bella can be unpredictable and he's just waiting for her to kind of…loose it.**

**I hope that cleared a little bit up. Sorry this chapter is a little short, but I'm going to try and update again late tonight. Please leave a review and let me know what you think, and ask any questions you may have.**

**Ah, one more thing. I'm not going to be updating from Sunday to next Saturday. I have to do some freelance work for the art studio where I work and I'll be pretty busy until I get that finished. I don't get the assignment until Saturday night, and then I have to sketch and paint and everything…so don't be discouraged when there's a big gap between updates. But I'll be updating daily until Sunday!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	10. Chapter 10

**Yep, Bella is not exactly seeing things clearly. It's because she's a teenager, guys! She doesn't know what she wants, and she's gone through a lot with having a baby and having to grow up so fast. Think about it: A baby changes your life forever, and when you're a teenager…you don't have much of a life. You don't have bills to pay and food to buy and a family to support. Having a baby is an emotional experience at any age, but as a teenager, I think that it's just making Bella more confused.**

**And yes, Twilight44, you can have this Edward since Bella doesn't want him. I'll giftwrap him and send him to you through UPS =)**

…

Today is Avery's seven month birthday. It's silly, really, but I've celebrated each month of her life with a little something special for just the two of us. Today, I decided to skip school and take her with me to Port Angeles to go shopping. We don't have a lot of money to spend, but it'll still be fun to get away together for a little while; just the two of us. Edward wouldn't approve of me missing school, but luckily he's working today and I don't have to worry about it. Hopefully, we'll be home by the time he gets off work.

Our day is quiet and fun and just ours. I took Avery into a baby clothes store and marveled at all the little dresses, even though I couldn't afford to buy them. She was only seven months old, but I could tell that she was having a good time. I didn't get to spend enough time with my daughter; even my weekends were filled up with housework and homework.

By the time I was done window shopping and got back into the car, I was horrified to find that I had two missed calls, both from Edward. And a text message, asking me where I was and where Avery was. Now, I'm just plain screwed. Edward is insanely protective of Avery. He doesn't seem to get that I'm her mother and I can look after her just fine. Instead of calling him back, I sent him a text saying we'd be home soon. Then I reached into the backseat and gave Avery her teething rings, turned up the radio, and drove home.

When I got there, Edward was even madder. I should have expected it, really, but him being mad made me mad too. He was waiting for me in the doorway, his fists clenched and his eyes burning. I breezed right past him, squaring my shoulders and holding my head high as I carried Avery, who was sleeping, into her room. I could hear Edward behind me as I put Avery into a pair of pajamas and put her into her crib. When I was finished with that, I pushed past Edward again and walked out of Avery's room and into the living room with him on my heels again.

"What the fuck happened today, Bella? You can't just skip school and run off with our daughter without telling me!" Edward snapped.

"Don't give me that crap, and don't tell me what to do, either!" I retorted, giving him a little shove and trying to stomp past him.

But Edward grabbed my arm and stopped me, pulling me back towards him. "You're acting like a child." He said in a low, dark voice.

I gritted my teeth and used all my strength to rip myself away from him, shoving him away again. "You know what, Edward? News Flash: I _am_ a child! I'm barely eighteen years old and I'm stuck here in this godforsaken apartment raising a baby with a man that I'm not even in love with or even completely committed to!" That last part was a little unnecessary, but I said it anyway, because I wanted to hurt him. "You have ruined my life!" I shouted, and tears started running down my face. "I didn't want anything of this, I didn't even ask you to stick around!"

"Like fuck, you didn't!" Edward spat, taking a step closer to me. "What was I supposed to do, leave you alone with no money and my fucking kid? I'm not that kind of person, Bella. And never, not once, did you turn me down for any of things I have provided for you and Avery. You've taken it all, telling me that you appreciate it, but that's it. Not once have you _not_ needed my help, and I've been giving it to you freely because I know that I've fucked your life up, and I'm sorry."

"I care about you." I said stiffly. "But I want to have a life, Edward."

He stared at me evenly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, then, who am I to stop you?" He asked coldly, "Leave, if you really feel that way."

"I can't do that." I whispered softly, even though I wish I could.

…

There were some choices that I needed to make. I had been lying to myself, and to everyone else, for what felt like an eternity. I wasn't brave or strong or mature or responsible, that was just the mast I was wearing. And now, after I've been through all of this, it's still just a mask but there's nothing left underneath. There's no way for me to get back the life I wanted so bad. I wanted to go to college and get a job and then start a family with a man I was in love with. I had done it all wrong, and I couldn't even blame it all on Edward though I tried. Because he was far better at this than I was. He had been changing himself, adapting, for a long time.

I had told myself countless times that I cared for Edward, but did I really? Or did I just care about keeping the sorry excuse that was our 'family' together? I've been trying to create a goddamn normal life for my daughter, and all I've succeeded in is making it even more twisted and broken. Edward is such a good person, but I can't make myself want to stay with him.

I wish I was in love with him, but I'm far from it. I resent him and I blame him and I keep trying to love and hate him at the same time.

Never before in my eighteen years of life have I felt so trapped by something I was trying so hard not to care about. I just wish I had the courage to do something about it.

…

**Yikes, such sadness. Please review, and tell me what's going through your mind. This story…it's going to be a, um, what they call a 'slow burn'. It's not going to be insanely long, but it will probably be more than twenty chapters. But like always, things can change.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	11. Chapter 11

**I know, I know. It's getting bad, but the worst is yet to come. Please just keep remembering that I am promising you a very HEA ending to the story. And also remember that Bella is eighteen years old, and she's immature and confused and emotional. I'm not exactly fond of her right now, but don't flame her, okay?**

…

When I got home from school, Edward was sitting on the couch, holding Avery in his lap and watching something on television. He glanced up at me, and there was a guilty look on his face. "I would have picked you up from school." He murmured softly.

"Alice was fine with giving me a ride. She said she doesn't mind." I said shortly, dropping my backpack on the end table in front of the couch. Then I took Avery off of Edward's lap and kissed her forehead. "She's tired, I'll put her down for a nap." With that, I walked out of the room.

By the time I emerged from Avery's room, Edward was waiting for me in the living room, with the television turned off. But I breezed past him into the kitchen, where I headed straight for the sink, cleaning up the dirty dishes from breakfast and lunch. "I'm sorry for what I said." Edward's voice rang out, but I didn't turn around to face him. "Bella, don't-"

"No, _you_ don't, Edward. I'm sick of you right now, and I want you to just leave me alone. Leave me alone with our daughter to clean the apartment and do my homework and pay the bills." I said viciously, and then resumed loading the dishwasher.

Edward was silent for a moment, and when he spoke his voice was clearly laced with anger. "Okay, Bella. I'll leave and go work for an eight hour shift, and then come home and take care of our daughter while you're at school." He leaned closer to me, his breath on my neck. "Stop acting so immature. You're not the only one here who has made sacrifices." And then he kissed the back of my neck and left.

As soon as I heard the apartment door close, I reached back and touched the spot on my neck where he had kissed me, wondering why I didn't feel anything. Edward and I had _some_ chemistry, I knew we did. Whenever we had sex, it was like my entire body was aflame and I was always so aware that it was Edward making me feel so good. But right now, I felt absolutely nothing for Edward. I wished I did, but I couldn't force this.

There were so many things I could have done differently and my life could have been so much better, and easier as well. I could have stayed home the night of the party, but I went anyway. I could have stayed away from all the different types alcohol, but I drank more than I ever had before; vodka and gin and beer. I could have stayed away from the handsome stranger with startlingly green eyes and disheveled auburn hair, but instead I had sex with him.

I could easily blame it all on Edward- so that was what I was trying to do, even though I knew it had been my fault just as much as it had been his. I had been the one to initiate the kissing and I had asked Edward to come into the bathroom with me. I can't be sure, or even remember, how we ended up having sex, but it happened and that's where I am now. An eighteen year old saddled with a baby and fighting with…whatever Edward was to me- I couldn't even define it anymore.

Although I told Mike and Alice and other people who had asked that I had a boyfriend, that wasn't really what Edward was.

Neither of us dated other people, but we weren't a couple. We had sex, but we weren't a couple. This was all getting to be too much for me- it was too confusing and too complex and I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to curl up in bed and wake up back in my mom's house in Seattle, content and simplistic.

Avery's crying distracted, and I groaned to myself, trudging into her room. I lifted her into my arms and kissed her pudgy cheek, sighing loudly.

"Can you be quiet for once?" I griped, and then I realized that I was getting mad a seven month old baby. "I'm sorry." I whispered in her ear, cuddling her body against my chest. "This is unfair to you too, isn't it? I don't even know why I'm here." I murmured, looking down at her angelic face. "It's for you, but you don't need me. I don't even deserve to have you…I can't love you and provide for you like I should be able to. When you're grown up, I want you to be smarter than me. Don't drink and don't let random strangers take your virginity." I laughed hollowly. "You don't need to hear about this." I sighed and wiped a tear out of the corner of my eye. "You don't need to know what a stupid teenage girl I've been."

Of course, Avery had no response. She just gave a tiny little sigh and snuggled against my shoulder again. "I'm eighteen years old, but I definitely don't feel like I'm an adult. And I'm sorry that I'm not mature enough to take care of you or to make your dad happy." I studied Avery's face for a moment, smiling to myself. "You have his nose and hair…lucky girl. You'll be so beautiful when you grow up." Avery's sleepy, chocolate brown eyes flicked up to mine, and she smiled impishly at me, drool dripping down her chin. I laughed and wished that my life could be as simple as hers.

Because I feel like I'm trapped. This isn't what I want for myself, and yet I'm stuck here because of my love for my daughter and my obligation to her and Edward. But do I really owe Edward anything? Yes, he takes care of me, but he doesn't have to. If I left, he would have it easier. He wouldn't have to fight with me and pay for my clothes and food and other things like that. Maybe if I left, he would have a real chance at life. He could fall in love with someone who loves him back, and who deserves his generosity and love.

I don't know. But I do know that I can't manage this life much longer.

…**.**

**Thanks to Twilight44 for pre-reading for me! **

**Okay, guys, you're going to have to brace yourselves for the next chapter. It's probably going to make you mad. You might want to punch someone. But remember…I love my HEA and I stick to it.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay…deep breaths…and please don't hate me. Just get through the chapter and stick with the mantra 'Mellie promises a happily ever after…"**

…

I loved Avery, more than I would ever expect to love another person. But I couldn't do this. I couldn't stop living just because I had made a mistake that had resulted in a child. I couldn't sit at home with a seven month old and let Edward live his life while mine was on hold.

I know I'm not a good person for doing this. In fact, abandoning my child and her father would make me a bad person. I've lied about so many things, and I've been trying to force myself to be someone I'm not. I've been portraying myself as a person who can be content with a small town life and a boyfriend and a baby, all while fresh out of high school. But really, I can't force myself to do this anymore.

Maybe, if they'll have me, I'll come back one day with a college degree and a job and life experience. But then again, maybe I won't.

…

It was only six in the morning, and Avery was fast asleep. I stood over her crib for several minutes, my hand over my mouth as silent tears trickled down my face. I didn't want to leave her, but my mind was made up. I had to do this. I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life; because what I had here just wasn't working. So I leaned down and carefully picked Avery up, shushing her as she whimpered slightly. I hated disturbing her from her sleep, but I couldn't leave her home at the apartment. I would leave her at Kate Denali's, our next door neighbor. Kate and I were friends, and I knew that she would be okay with watching Avery if I told her it was an emergency.

Kissing the top of Avery's head, I picked up her diaper bag and slung it over my shoulder. Grabbing my backpack, which held all the cash I had, two changes of clothes, and other necessities, I made another stop in the kitchen and wiped tears from my cheeks as I scribbled a pathetic note to Edward. Sniffling, I left the note out on the counter where Edward would be sure to see it. With one more look around the apartment, I took a deep breath and walked out the door. Avery had dozed off in my arms again, so I held my free hand over her ears as I knocked on Kate's door.

It took a few minutes, but eventually Kate opened the door, looking like she was asleep standing up. "Bella? What the fuck do you want? It's…" She glanced over her shoulder, presumably looking at a clock. "Six in the morning…on a Saturday!"

"Look, I need you to take Avery." I said, using the back of my hand to wipe away the continuous trail of tears that was running down my face. Kate just stared at me, so I pushed Avery out towards her. "Please, Kate. You know I wouldn't ask if it weren't an emergency. I need you to take her, just until Edward gets off work."

Kate accepted Avery, looking stunned. "Um, okay. When will Edward get back?"

"Um, eight." I said, handing over Avery's diaper bag as well. "She'll probably sleep the rest of the night, but there are diapers and bottles in there. I have to go. Thank you so much, Kate. I'm sorry for waking you." Before Kate could say anything else, I leaned over and gave Avery a big kiss on the cheek, practically sobbing at that point. And then I did the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I just walked away.

I had planned it like this- leaving early in the morning, so that by the time Edward got home and found out what I had done, I would be two hours ahead. If he even bothered to try and find me, I would be long gone by the time he would start.

It was cold and rainy outside, typical for Forks, but I trudged by myself to the bus station anyway. Shivering slightly due to the rain, I hurried inside the shabby building. Despite the early hour, there was a bored looking attendant standing at the ticket counter, flipping through a travel magazine. I approached quietly and quickly bought my ticket for the next bus, which left in ten minutes. The attendant gave a me suspicious look, probably because of my age and light baggage, but I ignored her and sat in the corner of the bus station on a bench, hugging my knees to my chest and breathing deeply.

I knew I would miss both of them, but there was an actual, physical _ache_ in my chest, and I wanted nothing more than to just break down, cry, and go back to the apartment. But I didn't; I wouldn't.

My plan for the future was simple. I was taking a bus to Seattle. It wasn't very far away, but I planned to get my GED and find a job so I could save up enough money to get somewhere else, probably a big city like LA or maybe even Chicago. I wanted to become a teacher, if I could manage it all. And then, maybe if I had the courage, I would come back to Forks and try to pick up the pieces of the two lives that I had just shattered with one heartless decision.

EPOV

I don't know why, but when I opened the door to the apartment, something just felt wrong. I hesitated in the doorway, frowning. It was just past eight in the morning and it was a Saturday, so Bella and Avery were probably both still asleep.

Before I went to take a shower, I stopped in Avery's room out of habit, just to check on her. The first thing that tipped me off was the silence. One of my favorite things about having Avery asleep was just listening to her breathing, calm and interrupted. I was already panicking when I approached her crib. It was still dark in the room and when I reached down to touch her cheek, all I felt was her blanket. And then when my eyes adjusted and I saw that the crib was empty, my blood ran cold, practically freezing in my veins. A million awful possibilities ran through my head, and I took a deep, shaky breath before hurrying out of Avery's room and into mine, trying to tell myself that Bella had probably just taken Avery into our bed last night. But when I opened the door, the bed was empty and didn't look like it had been slept in.

At this point, I was just flat out panicking. Even though I had been working, Bella would have called and left a message if she was going anywhere. We had been fighting a lot recently…but she still would have called then, all I wanted to do was call the cops. But I tried to think more rationally, and I went into the kitchen to see if she had left a note. Terrible thoughts were running through my mind, and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I let out a long sigh of relief when I saw a small piece of paper folded up on the counter. As I picked it up and read it, though, I didn't believe what it said.

_I'm sorry…but I can't keep doing this. I know you're going to hate me for this, but please try and understand. This isn't me, Edward. I can't pretend I'm happy anymore, and I want to try and have a life. I'm leaving my cell phone here, you can cancel the number. No one knows where I'm headed, so don't even both asking. You and Avery both deserve a lot better than me._

_Bella_

That was all. Bella was gone. Had she taken Avery…? I quickly read through the short note again, focusing on the closing. _You and Avery deserve a lot better than me_. She had left Avery, but where? I threw the note down on the counter in a mixture of hatred and pain and dread, and then it dawned on me that Bella would have left Avery close by. The only person I could think was Kate, our next door neighbor. I didn't even know her last name.

Still frantic, I hurried out into the hallway and knocked on Kate's door, praying that Avery was there and that Kate could offer me a further explanation of what the hell was going on.

Kate answered the door, and I pressed my hand to my forehead in relief when I saw Avery, wide awake and alert, in her arms. "Hey, Edward." Kate said easily, looking a little bit concerned. "Is everything okay with Bella?"

I shook my head, immediately taking Avery out of Kate's arms and holding her close to me. "I…I don't know. She's gone." I said, and Kate's mouth dropped open slightly. "She left a note." I said weakly, kissing the top of Avery's head repeatedly, thanking the fucking heavens that she was fine and that Bella hadn't taken her away. "I thought for a moment that she had taken Avery." I added quietly.

"Wait, she's _gone_?" Kate asked. "Like, for good?"

"I guess." I whispered, and suddenly it all washed over me again. She had left with a sorry excuse and a pitiful note, not even caring about Avery. What the fuck was I going to do with Avery, raising her on my own? And not just now…but years from now, too. It was hard to imagine, but one of these days real soon Avery is going to grow up, and I have no idea how to deal with teenagers, because let's face it, I was the guy that dad's wanted their teenage daughters to stay away from. I had gotten a teenage girl pregnant, and now I had to raise Avery on my own. "Thanks, Kate…I have to go." I said, and I suddenly felt numb again.

Kate nodded in understanding and handed over Avery's diaper bag, and then watched me walk back into our apartment. No, it was my apartment now. Just mine and Avery's. Fury curled through my body again, and I clenched my fists, looking down at my seven month old daughter.

I understood why Bella left me, at least on some level. But why did she leave Avery?

…

I was at a loss for what to do. It was Sunday, and I had to work. But Bella wasn't here to watch Avery, and I couldn't very well leave a seven month old home alone. I wondered if Charlie knew that his daughter had just walked out on us. And if he had, maybe he could guess where the fuck Bella had run off to. I doubted it, but it was still worth a shot.

So I gathered up Avery's things and made sure to put a hat on her head before leaving the apartment. As I trudged out to my car, Avery in my arms, I realized that I didn't care if Bella never came back. I knew she resented me, I knew she would leave me eventually. But Avery? She didn't deserve any of this; she didn't deserve to miss out on having a mother just because Bella was unbearably immature and insecure.

When I got to Charlie's house, I was relieved the see that his cruiser was parked out front and the light in the kitchen window was on. I walked up to the house with a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Was Charlie going to blame me for Bella leaving? Taking a deep breath, I knocked sharply on the door, hitching Avery higher up on my hip as I did so.

Charlie came to the door after a moment, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I was relieved, knowing thanks to his attire that he didn't have to work today. "Edward? What's…?"

"I'm sorry for stopping by like this, but I have to work. Could you watch Avery until I get off this afternoon?" I asked desperately.

"Sure. You know how much I love this little lady." Charlie said easily, and I handed Avery over, as well as her diaper bag. "But where's Bella; why can't she watch her?'

I swallowed loudly, my mouth suddenly dry. "She's…" I hesitated for a moment, and Charlie's eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know." I finally admitted. "She left…this morning or last night, I don't know. I got home and the apartment was empty and she left a note and Avery was at the neighbor's and Bella was just gone-" I rambled on, but Charlie held up his hand to stop, his eyes wide.

"Bella…left?" He repeated, looking from me to Avery. "She left you with the baby?" I nodded, looking down at my feet instead of at Charlie. "Did you try to call her?" I shook my head again, and I could tell that he was getting angry. "Edward, I know you'll do anything to protect _your_ daughter. Do you think I'd be any different about _my_ daughter? Are you sure you have no idea where she went?"

"I have no idea. Here…you can read the note." I said, digging around in the pocket of my jeans and producing the note Bella had left on the kitchen counter.

Charlie took it and then looked at Avery, sighing. "Come inside." He said, and led the way into the house. He set Avery down in the playpen that sat in the corner of the living room, and then sat down in one of the armchairs. I sat down in the one across from him, resting my elbows on my knees and putting my chin in my hands. I watched as Charlie unfolded the note and read it, his eyebrows furrowing as he did.

"I can't just…let her go." Charlie said slowly, folding the note back up and dropping it on the coffee table. "What if she's in trouble? What if-"

"She's not in trouble, Charlie." I said hollowly, running one of my hands through my hair. "She's gone because she got scared and decided she couldn't handle this anymore. So now, I don't care. I would eventually be able to handle her leaving me…but Avery doesn't deserve this."

…**..**

**HEA, HEA, HEA! Remember, there will be one. Just stick with me…and we'll get there eventually. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask, and please leave a review.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for believing me with the whole HEA thing. I know Bella didn't make a smart decision, and it was wrong for her to do it, but it's done. At the time, it sounded like a good idea to her, even though it really wasn't. Give her a little time to grow, even though it might be too late.**

**She's making mistakes, like we all do…although I don't think I'd ever be able to do what she's doing.**

**Oh, and thanks oh so much to Wendy for the pre-reading =) **

…

I shivered and tucked my coat tighter around my body as I stepped off the bus, taking in my new surroundings. I hadn't been out of Seattle for very long, but I was still amazingly relieved to be home. There was a dull ache in my chest as my mind drifted to thoughts of Avery, but I inhaled sharply and tried to think of something else. I didn't deserve her, and she would be so much better off without an incompetent mother.

Clutching my backpack, I made my way through the slightly crowded bus station and out onto the street. My mother only lived five blocks from here; I'd surely be able to walk. So I made my way through the streets, keeping my head ducked the entire time, occasionally reaching up to wipe tears out of my eyes. I had expected to miss Avery, but I hadn't expected the consequences of my rash decision to hurt so badly. My arms and legs felt like they were on fire, and part of me wanted to run back to Forks and stay with Avery forever. I quickly tried to shake those feelings away, trying to tell myself that she didn't need me; a sorry excuse for a mother.

By the time I reached my mother's small townhouse, I was shivering so hard that my teeth were chattering and my face felt numb.

I hadn't seen my mother for nearly sixteen months, and I missed her so much. I just wished she would take me in, because I really needed her right now. And then I realized that there were going to be times when Avery would really need me, and I wouldn't be there. But I had to keep telling myself that she wouldn't remember me, and that she would have Edward instead. And Edward was a far better parent, and person, than I was.

I had to calm myself down before I rang the doorbell, breathing heavily and biting my lip. And only a few seconds after the doorbell rang out, the door swung open and my mother stood before me. She stared at me and the smile slid off her face, her jaw dropping. "Bella…what are you doing here?" Renée asked, and I could hear hardness and detachment in her voice.

"I…I want to come home." I managed to say, my teeth still chattering almost violently.

Renée continued to stare at me, but eventually straightened up and opened the door up wider. "Why don't you come inside and we can talk?" I nodded and followed her inside, relaxing immediately as I was surrounded by warmth and comfort and familiarity. "What's going on, Bella? After you…got pregnant, I told you that I could no longer take care of you. You're an adult now, and you have a family to take care of." Renée said sternly, glancing over her shoulder at me as she led me into the living room.

"I left. I can't do it anymore…I left her with Edward and I want my life back." I said evenly, although tears started to pool in my eyes as I once again thought of my seven month old daughter.

"You _left_?" Renée asked loudly, and I nodded stiffly again, rubbing my hands together to warm them up a little bit.

"I can't do it anymore." I repeated. "I'm not a good mother and I resented nearly every part of it! The only thing keeping me around was Avery, and I realized that she'll be better off without me. Edward is a better parent than I am, and-"

Renée interrupted me, holding her hand up. "You think this twenty year old boy is going to be able to take of _your_ daughter alone?"

"He has a job." I said weakly, not looking Renée in the eye.

"What about daycare? I'm guessing you stayed home with the baby while he worked- now what is he going to do?" Renée questioned me, and I instantly felt a deep blush appear on my face. "Bella, you can't just run away from the mess that you created and expect him to clean up after you and keep it all together. I know that you're young, but now you have responsibilities and a daughter-"

"Stop taking his side!" I shouted, tears running down my face. "I had to grow up way too fucking fast and I never got to have a teenage life! I'm a shitty mom and I don't want to fuck up Avery's life anymore than I already have!"

Renée fell silent as I started sobbing, and she reached over and started rubbing gentle circles on my back, whispering softly in my ear. "I'm not taking any sides." She soothed me, but I continued to cry. "But…you've got obligations, Bella. You…you had unprotected sex when you were young with a man you didn't love- let alone _know_, and the consequence of that was having to give up the rest of your teenage life."

Anger flared up in me, and I looked up and glared at Renée through my onslaught of tears. "Well, you didn't help much! You kicked me out of the house and forced me to live with Charlie. I could have…I could have…" I trailed off, not even sure of what I had been planning to say. "I'm sorry." I apologized, and Renée continued rubbing my back. "It's not your fault…I just miss her."

"You don't have too. You could go back right now, if you really want to." Renée pointed out.

"No." I whispered, wiping at my eyes with the sleeve of my coat. "I can't…I already left, and I know she'll be so much better off without me. I love her so much…but I was stupid to think I could handle being a mother. And I dragged Edward into it, too. He was good to us, and I threw it all away. But now they don't have to deal with me and they'll both be happier." I said firmly, and Renée sighed.

"Honey, do you really believe that? I'm sure they both miss you-"

"No." I repeated. "Please, mom, please. Can I stay with you? I'll get my GED and get a job and save up for college. Just please, don't make me go back."

Renée stopped rubbing my back and gave me a long, hard look. "I'll make you a deal. If you promise me that you'll write Edward a letter- telling him exactly why you left and telling him that you're sorry, I'll let you stay. _And_, I still have your college account, so I can help with college even though I still want you to find a job. I'm not saying what you did to Edward and Avery was right…but you're my daughter. You have a lot of growing up to do."

…

**Now, Renée might seem in the wrong too. She kind of is, but guys…you would do anything for your child. Anything that seems right, even if it's really not so. I need to address this, also: Renée kicked Bella out because she thought Bella needed to get her own life started. But obviously, Bella has failed at that. And I don't know...I think I'd forgive my daughter for anything if she showed up on my doorstep freezing and crying. But Renee and I are both just big pushovers! And…**

**SPOILER ALERT: Bella will eventually go back…but not necessarily into open arms, and not too soon, either. She's trying to grow up, even if she's being a brat about it. I know, I'm mad at Bella too because I couldn't imagine leaving my daughter. But let her figure things out, okay?**

**HEA… HEA… HEA… HEA**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	14. Chapter 14

**Won't be updating for the rest of the week! Sorry, but I'll be super busy with stuff so that's how it's going to be. But as always, thank you for reading and for reviewing (and we have over 200 reviews now, yay!).**

**Can't remember who, but someone asked where Bella left Avery. The answer is that she left her at the neighbor's house…her name is Kate Denali. I haven't really specified Edward's job…let's just say he works in a bookstore during the week and the diner on weekends, just so I won't have to go out of my way to explain that in the story. I meant to do that…but it just slipped my mind so there it this.**

**And thanks to beanna96…I like the way you put your view of the situation: ****am not actually mad at Bella for leaving She's a teenage girl, with a daughter and a man she "doesn't love". Most stories that I read with teenage pregnancy don't put in the fact that being A Teenage mother is a lot, it comes with a lot of pressure."**

**Bella still sucks, I know. And she Renée do the exact same thing…the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, hmm?**

…

EPOV

I'm running purely on coffee now. Between Avery and work, I was stretched thin and worn down. It had only been five days, but already I was getting desperate. I hated Bella. I absolutely _hated _her. I knew she was young and scared, but I was too, damn it. She was only eighteen, but I was only twenty two. Although I was older than her, it wasn't by much and that age difference didn't mean that I had been ready for a baby either.

At least I've come to terms with my responsibilities. I didn't want to get Bella pregnant, but I did share the blame. It was partly my fault for not wearing a fucking condom, but at least I was stepping up. Bella, on the other hand, tried to place the blame on anyone but herself and decided she just 'couldn't do it anymore'. That's bullshit…it's more like she doesn't _want_ to do it anymore.

But screw her, then. If she doesn't want to be a part of her own daughter's life, then that's her problem. And if she ever tried to come back…I'm not going to listen Bella's excuses and the first thing I'll do is try and get her to sign over her rights.

"I called Bella's mother." I glanced up to see Charlie standing in the doorway, holding the house phone tightly in his hand. I was over to pick up Avery, and then I'd be dropping her off again first thing in the morning. It was a miracle that Charlie hadn't been working on the times that Avery and I needed him, but I knew that wouldn't always be the case. I would have to find someone else to watch her, and quickly. "And she says that Bella is with her."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak so that I didn't start screaming about how mad I was and how much I hated Bella in this moment.

Charlie sighed and walked over to me, phone still in hand. "I know you must hate her for this, but Bella are Renée are practically the same person. They scare easy and their version of the best choice isn't always very good. But you'll be fine. And Bella will come around eventually-"

"I don't _want _her to come back." I said shortly, bouncing Avery on my knee slightly. "Charlie, if she's able to walk out of her daughter's life once, she can do it again. And if she ever came back only to run away scared again…Avery might remember. And I don't want her ever thinking that anyone doesn't want her."

"I understand that must be bad, Edward." Charlie said quietly, his dark eyes trained on Avery. "But Bella is Avery's mother. You can't force her away forever."

"I can if I get her to sign away her rights now." I said, an idea dawning on me. "This weekend, I'll go to a lawyer…a cheap one. And once I get the paperwork, I'm going Seattle so that I can convince her to sign."

Charlie stared at me, his jaw hanging open. "Edward, I don't think she'll-"

"You don't?" I laughed viciously, shaking my head. "She's practically done it already, Charlie. She can't just walk away now and expect to come back later when things are better. That's not how it works…you can't only be there for the good times of your child's life and walk away for the bad. If Bella really wants out, then she'll sign. Otherwise, she's going to have to prove that she's not a complete failure as a mother."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Charlie asked stiffly. "She's my daughter, Edward. I know what she did was awful, practically unthinkable-"

"Do you know how easy it would have been for me to walk away from Bella when she got pregnant?" I asked, interrupting Charlie so that I could make a point. "I could have just given her some money. I could have just told her to get an abortion. I could have denied paternity and gotten the hell out of Seattle. But no, I owned up to what I had done and did what I had to so that I could ensure Avery a somewhat normal life. And after all of that shit," I quickly covered Avery's ears when I cursed; a habit I had picked up from Bella, "she just leaves. That's not right."

"It's not." Charlie agreed quietly, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Edward…what are you going to tell Avery when she's older, if Bella never comes back to be a part of her life?"

I hesitated, looking down at Avery as she nuzzled her head against my shoulder. "I don't know." I admitted, tracing my index finger over her button nose. "I can't just tell her that her mother didn't want her. I'll…I'll tell her that she…" I trailed off, exhaling through my nose. "We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it." I murmured finally and Charlie nodded silently as we both looked down at Avery. "But she can't think for one second that she is unwanted."

…**..**

**Sorry this chapter is on the short side, but I already have to start working on my new assignment. Diapers are expensive, people! And as always, I have to thank Wendy for pre-reading and telling me things that need to be explained. **

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	15. Chapter 15

**So…I'm back. And I've missed you guys. Thankfully I've got most of the piece I was working on done…I just need to work on some finishing touches and then get the seal of approval. Thanks for being patient with me, and thanks for continuing to trust me on the whole HEA thing. It'll happen, but it will take a little while for Edward and Bella to get things sorted out.**

**Keep believing in it!**

**And as always, a million thanks to Wendy for pre reading and keeping me on my toes.**

…

BPOV

"Your father called."

I glanced up from my desk and looked at my mom, who was standing in the doorway of my room with her hands on her hips. "Yeah? Um…did you, like, tell him?" I asked, my voice cracking a little bit on the last word. "That I'm here, I mean?"

"Yes, I told him, and he's going to tell Edward." Renée said, and then came into my room and sat down on my bed. "Have you written that letter yet, honey?"

"No." I said, softly, looking away. "I started…but I can't make it sound right-"

"That's because what you did _wasn't _right, Bella." Renée said, and I looked up at her, hurt by her words. "It wasn't, honey. I understand, but I don't think _you_ fully understand. She's your daughter, Bella. And while I'm not exactly the best example of a mother, everything I have done to you is _for_ you. I know it may not seem that way, but it is. When you got pregnant, I knew that you were going to have to grow up, and fast. Now, I realize that making you leave was one of the worst things I could have done. And I'm sorry for that…I pushed you too hard to mature, and it obviously didn't work because as a result, you've hurt Edward and Avery and even yourself."

Renée stood up and walked over to me, kissing the top of my head. "Write the letter, Bella."

"Okay." I said softly, and then watched as Renée left the room and closed the door behind her.

I really had tried to write to Edward, but it was hard because I knew that what I had done to him and to Avery wasn't right. I knew that, and I was sick of Renée continuously reminding me off it. But this was for the best. They didn't need me, and they were both better off without me. I was scared of the relationship between Edward and I, because I had no idea of how to define it.

We had been exclusive, but we hadn't been a real couple. The label was confusing and hadn't really existed. He and I had a daughter together, but it wasn't something that either of us had wanted. In all reality, we had been forced together because it had been the right thing to do. I didn't know Edward's take on the situation, but I thought that we could at least have tried to raise Avery together.

But that all fell apart when I realized how incompetent and hopeless I was as a mother. Edward was a better parent.

And then I realized that I knew exactly what I had to write to Edward. I just had to tell him exactly how I had felt during the sixteen months that we had been together. And I had to tell him that I knew my decision wasn't fair, but that it had been necessary.

…

_Dear Edward,_

_A part of me is sure that you're going to get this in the mail and crumple it up without even opening it. But another part says that you need an answer. And I know that you deserve one. I've been trying to justify leaving, but I can't entirely. I love Avery, and I care about you. But that wasn't enough, and if I hadn't left things would have fallen apart eventually. _

_You're a good person, unlike me. When I got pregnant, you stepped up and tried to make things right. You tried to provide for me and Avery, and I've done nothing for you in return. You're a good parent, so much better than me. You are so smart and capable and good, and I know that you can do so much better than me. You and Avery both __**deserve **__better than me. I tried, I really did. But it got to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore and I got scared and ran. It's wrong, I know that. I keep getting reminded of it. _

_Edward, I'm selfish and I want a life for myself. I want to be normal. And I know how awful that sounds- me leaving my daughter, who I love more than my own life, because I want to be normal. In the end, I think you'll realize that I'm holding both of you back because I simply cannot do this. _

_I understand if you hate me. Actually, I expect it. I'm going to miss you- both of you. But I have things to figure out. I have to grow up. And I have to let you hate me. _

_I am sorry, but this is something that I need to do. _

_Bella_

…

It was short, but it got my point across. I gave it to Renée to put in the mail, and then I washed my hands of it.

…

EPOV

It had only been a week, but in some ways it felt like a million lifetimes had passed since Bella left. I've been busy during both the days and nights, but when I do get the time to sleep, I am painfully aware of her absence. When I'm busy with the routines of my day, it's easy to hate Bella because there is so much more for me to do, and I look at Avery and know that she deserves her mother, even if Bella doesn't think she's capable of that.

But at night, when I'm lying in bed trying to get some sleep, she consumes my thoughts. I hate her for leaving and it makes me angry to think about it, but I can't help but miss her in those moments.

The soft curve of her smile, the deep brown of her eyes, and the music of her laugh are all etched in my mind. The little things, the things I'd never expect to miss, are haunting my thoughts. The way she scrunches her nose after she sneezes, the way her hands feel, and the way _she _feels. Our relationship was extremely unconventional; indefinable. But it had been ours. Things may have been a little difficult, but I cared about Bella. And I had thought that she cared about me.

…

**Alright guys…let me know how it's going. Next chapter, we'll see Alice's reaction through EPOV. And soon, Edward is going to get a blast from the past. But a good one, I promise. It is not James, although he may be making an itsy bitsy appearance in the future. Edward may have gone through rehab and has been sober, but remember that he'll always be a recovering addict, and it will always be hard on him to stay away from drugs. (But he won't be doing it again!)**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	16. Chapter 16

**It's been a busy week…I feel like I'm running on auto pilot. But no worries, right? Jensen and Blakely and I are currently sitting on the couch watching Gilmore Girls, so I've got a little relaxation time.**

**Please review, and let me know how you like the story. I'm introducing a little APOV into this chapter, so you'll see her reaction and get a little look into her life and her relationship with Jasper. And it shouldn't be too long until we get some resolution to some of the stories problems. **

…

EPOV

I was awoken by a loud banging on the apartment door. Groaning, I rolled off the bed and stretched my arms over my head. I practically stumbled to the door, peeking into Avery's room as I passed to make sure she was still sound asleep. Rubbing my eyes, I yanked the door open and came face to face with the short girl who had been friends with Bella, and whose name escaped me.

"Um, hi…Alice, right?" I asked, the name thankfully coming to me in a split second.

"Yeah." She said, her voice high pitched and anxious. "Is something wrong with Bella? She hasn't been in school all week and hasn't answered her cell phone and her dad wouldn't tell me anything-" I furrowed my eyebrows as she jabbered on, a sharp pain hitting my chest at the mention of Bella's name. "Where is she?" Alice finished, her eyes wide.

I ran one of my hands through my hair, exhaling loudly and closing my eyes for a second. "She's gone, Alice." I finally said, knowing that it would be better to just tell the truth and get it over with.

Alice stared at me, obviously confused. "What do you mean, she's gone?" She finally asked.

"Why don't you just come inside?" I said, holding the door open. Alice hesitated for a moment, and then walked into the apartment. As I closed the door, Avery started crying. I smiled apologetically at Alice as I headed into her room, picking Avery up and cradling her against my chest. "Sorry." I said to Alice as I walked back into the living room area. "She's…hungry." I said. Or at least I thought she was. Bella had always gone on and on about how babies had different cries for their different needs, but I still couldn't distinguish between them. It just sounded like screaming to me.

"It's okay. You can um, do what you need to do." Alice said kindly, and I nodded and hurried into the kitchen with Avery still crying in my arms. I hurriedly fixed her a bottle of formula, thankful that Bella hadn't been breastfeeding. If she had been, I could have a pretty hard time feeding Avery. After I got her bottle all together, I gave it to Avery and walked back into the living room, where Alice was sitting on the couch. "Okay." I said with a sigh, sitting down on the chair and feeding Avery her bottle. "Where do you want me to start?" I asked nervously.

Alice rubbed her forehead, honestly just looking confused. "Well…at the beginning would be good. I honestly don't understand."

"Last week, I came home and the apartment was totally empty." I began, looking down at Avery instead of at Alice. "Avery was at the neighbor's and Bella left a note saying that she couldn't do it anymore. Charlie found out that she's with her mom in Seattle."

"So, wait…she just _left_?" Alice asked incredulously. I nodded silently as I looked up at her, and Alice's jaw dropped. "Are you serious? When she and I talked…she sounded so sure of herself. "She told me how thankful she was to have someone like you, how great it was for you to take responsibility. And she said that all she really wants is for your family to be together!"

I shrugged, my heart clenching. I didn't want to know about the lies Bella had been telling, trying to pretend that she could do this.

Alice shook her head again, still shocked. "She's with her mom? That doesn't make any sense…she told me that her mom kicked her out and didn't want anything to do with her."

"That's what she told me, too. I don't know Renée, and I don't plan on ever meeting her now." I said sharply.

"I'm really sorry." Alice said after a moment. "I know that you work, and that you're planning on going to college next semester. "And I know this must be hard emotionally, too. If you ever need a babysitter, I'm here." She said, and I smiled at her.

"Thanks, Alice." I murmured. "I've been relying on Charlie a lot, and I know that's not going to last long. He works, and it's only a matter of time before our schedules don't work out."

Alice sighed, playing with the ends of her short hair. "I still can't believe she just left…" She muttered, and then stood up. "I'm sorry to leave so quickly, but I have to go."

"It's fine." I said, standing up as well and readjusting Avery in my arms. "Thanks again."

"It's no problem." Alice assured me, hitching her purse over her shoulder and walking towards the door. "I'm happy to help."

…

APOV

I couldn't believe this. I hadn't known Bella for very long, but I had thought that she was a good friend and a good person. Evidently, I was wrong. I just couldn't understand how a mother could leave her child like that. And Edward- I felt so bad for him. I didn't know him at all, but I could tell that he was responsible and stepping up. Bella had told me how Edward had been there for her and Avery, sounding grateful. But then she just ups and leaves? Don't understand any of it.

Had Bella been lying to me, just to make herself sound more grown up? Because it was obvious to me that Bella was hardly responsible. To me, she sounded like a scared little girl.

"Are you okay?" I hadn't heard Jasper come up behind me, so I jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. I was sitting on the hood of my car in front of my house, and when I glanced down at my cell phone I realized that it was time for our date, and I wasn't even ready yet. "Hey, what's wrong?" Jasper asked, sitting down next to me and touching my hand.

"Do you think I'm mature?" I asked, and Jasper frowned slightly.

"Um, yeah, actually. A little oblivious sometimes, but plenty mature." Jasper decided, and I nodded silently. "Where is this coming from, Ali?"

I signed, looking up at Jasper and leaning my head against his shoulder. "I found out last week that Bella has a seven month old daughter." I said softly. Jasper stilled slightly, but didn't interrupt. "And she told me all this stuff about how she was trying to grow up and be responsible…and then today I found out that she just _left_ her daughter and her boyfriend and ran off to Seattle."

Jasper stared at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "Are you serious? Is that why she's been gone from school?" I nodded silently, and Jasper raised his eyebrows. "Wow. That's messed up."

I nodded again, and managed a smile as Jasper put his arms around me. For years, I had only seen Jasper as my best friend. I was so glad I had been able to open my eyes and see him for who he really was.

…

**Sorry this is a bit short, but I'm going to the store now and then having lunch with my little brother Ryan and his girlfriend. Review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm going to be gone from Thursday, July 1, until Monday, July 12. I'll miss you all sooo much, and I'll miss writing, but Jensen and I are taking Blakely on her first official road trip so that we can go and visit my in-laws. But I promise I'll bring a notebook along to jot down some chapters, and I'll be back before you know it. Also, if you need a little fix, go and check out the stories I just posted…"Picture Perfect" was posted last week and has two chapters, and "We Have the Summer" was just posted so it only has one chapter. **

**Please review, and I hope you are enjoying the story. P.S. This story has over 300 reviews…ah! When did that happen? Thank you so much!**

**Oh, and I just read an amazing story called 'Darkness' by cherry blossomz. It's so good…I keep re-reading it. Go and check it out, because it's worth it. There's angst and fluff and musician Edward…it's perfection.**

…

BPOV, Two Weeks Later:

I stood over the frying pan, absentmindedly playing with the ends of my ponytail as I watched over the bacon and eggs. "When did you learn how to cook!" Renée exclaimed, walking into the kitchen wearing her bathrobe. I turned around and forced a smile.

"Um, Edward taught me." I said, and I couldn't make the smile stay on my face. Saying Edward's name, even thinking it, made me hurt. I missed him more than I had ever expected to, and I couldn't stop thinking about him and Avery.

Renée nodded silently, and I turned back to the frying pans. "Well, thanks for making the coffee, too. You know I can't function without it." I nodded, and Renée continued talking as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Are you…um, glad to be starting up school again?" She asked, and I could hear her stirring in her sugar and cream into her coffee.

"Yeah, I am." I said. After moving in with my mother again, she convinced me that returning to school was the best choice, rather than just getting my GED. She said it would be good to go back with my classmates. I agreed, thinking that maybe if I could finish up high school, I would truly feel like an adult and I could mature the way I need to. "It's a little weird that my grade is already gone, but I know a lot of kids in the grade below mine. It'll be okay."

"I'm sure it will be." Renée said, coming up behind me. "Here, honey, let me finish up breakfast and you can go get dressed." She offered, and agreed and kissed her cheek before hurrying upstairs.

This…going back to school- was a big deal. It was going to be painful and awkward, considering I had left so quickly, but I really was happy to be going back. I had to be a teenager before I could be an adult. And then maybe I could do the right thing and go back to my daughter…if Edward would ever let me come back.

I know that he must absolutely hate me right now. But he didn't love me, and he deserves to be with someone he does love. Although it kills me, I know he'll eventually find someone and realize that he never really wanted me.

I wish it weren't true. Even though I left him, Edward was so special. He was one of the best people in the world for what he had done for me and Avery, and he meant a lot to me. I cared for him so much that I left him. Although my main motive for leaving was unbelievably selfish, another reason was for him to have a better life as well. It sounded idiotic, even to me, but it was the truth. This was the decision I had made, and now I needed to stick to it.

By the time I got dressed and got downstairs, it was almost time for me to leave for school. And it felt so strange, going back to my old school. Forks High had been different, but this was _my_ school. I knew everything about it and I felt comfortable with the teachers and with the entire place. It felt right to go back, even though I was still hurting on the inside. I missed Avery. I wanted to hold her and be with her again. But I couldn't…I had to keep reminding myself of that.

And Edward. I missed Edward just as much as I missed Avery, but I wasn't sure why. I loved Avery, but not Edward. Maybe I had just gotten so used to him being around…supporting me…caring for me. I held back tears as I ate my breakfast, because this had been my decision.

…

"Oh my freaking God! Bella Swan!" A pair of arms instantly wrapped around me as I walked into the school, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Jane!" I smiled at my old friend, who was technically a year younger than me. We had been friends last year, though, and had gotten close. "It's so good to see you!"

She laughed, her stark white teeth gleaming in the bright fluorescent lights of the school. "Same! So, you like, had a baby, right?" She asked, looking me up and down. "You can't tell at all…your body is still hot."

My smile diminished slightly as I thought of Edward and Avery, but I managed to laugh. "Thanks. Yeah, I had a baby…but she's not here. Like…she's not with me." I explained. Jane furrowed her eyebrows questionably. "It's a long story. She's with her father and I'm…not." I said weakly. She seemed to accept that, because she nodded and hooked elbows with me, leading me down the hall.

"Well, good. School was boring without you, and you don't need to be weighed down with a baby. We'll have some real fun this year."

I nodded silently, although tears prickled in my eyes.

…

**I'm sorry this chapter was short but I've got some things to do today! Please review, and I'll try and get another chapter up some time tomorrow or maybe early on Thursday.**

**There are two banners up for this story on my profile, as well as for my other stories…and I'm putting together the playlist for this story. It's pretty long, so I'm just trying to get it together if you're interested in it. **

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is the chapter I promised, because I won't be back for over a week. Take care- I'll miss hearing your kind words!**

**I know you want to punch Bella…imagine what it's like for me, having to write her sorry excuses and handling her POV!**

…

BPOV

I lay awake at night, staring up at the ceiling. I kept picturing Edward and Avery, imagining what I would be doing if I were with them again. I would probably be up- either finishing up cleaning or studying or trying to get Avery to sleep. Instantly I felt guilty, knowing that Edward would have to stay up later than usual so that he could do those things. I rolled over and buried my face into my pillow, taking deep breaths. I had already messed up both their lives enough, I didn't really deserve to even think of them like that.

But I did. I wondered if Edward missed me at all, or if he hated me too much to even think of me like that. I wondered if Avery missed me, if she would even remember me after time passed. I wondered why I hadn't been strong enough to stay with them, because if I had tried harder, I know I could have done the right thing. But I didn't, so I'm here in my mother's house, crying myself to sleep every night.

…**..**

One Month Later:

School was the same, as always. Homework, classes, and friends all blurred together, making my days seem long and dull. I got an after school job at the bookstore near my mom's house, and found comfort in the familiar book titles and the interesting people I encountered there.

One customer in particular, though, struck my interest. She had come into the store on a Saturday around noon, and I instantly thought she looked familiar. She had caramel colored curls pinned back in a retro hairdo, wearing a short sleeved white dress that hit mid-knee, patterned with little embroidered cherries. But the thing that struck me the most was the color of her eyes; deep emerald green that seemed to sparkle from within. They were so beautiful, they looked just like-

I shook my head slightly and closed my eyes, willing myself not to think of Edward or Avery. I couldn't.

I regained my composure as the woman walked up to the register, a cookbook in her hands. "Hello." I said, forcing a bright smile. "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I asked politely, scanning the hardback book.

"Yes, thank you." The woman replied, reaching into her purse and retrieving her wallet. "Is that cookbook good? My son is coming to visit in the first time in…years, really…and I wanted to make something special." She explained.

Nodding, I looked at the front cover. "Actually, yeah, my boy-" I stopped myself, gritting my teeth as I almost referred to Edward as my boyfriend. He wasn't anything to me now, and that was something I had brought on myself. "My friend has this one. His favorite is the mushroom ravioli, it's really good. I recommend it." I said, swiping the book. "It's going to be twenty two dollars and sixteen cents. I said, and the woman handed me her credit card.

"Thank you, I'll have to look at that recipe."

I swiped her credit card and instinctively looked at the name. But my blood practically ran cold when I saw this woman's name. Esme A. Cullen. I looked at the name in horror, trying to get it through my mind that this was Edward's mother. The woman he hadn't seen for years, since he left home and started doing drugs.

Realizing what I looked like, with my eyes bugging out and my mouth hanging open. "Alright, thank you." I managed to say. "Have a nice day." I added, putting the book in a plastic bag along with the receipt and handing it to her over the counter. She took the bag, giving me a strange look, but then smiled.

"Thank you, you too." She said. Then she tucked her wallet back into her purse and bustled on out of the shop, the plastic bag swinging from the crook of her elbow. I leaned against the counter, trying to brace myself. I took deep breaths, remembering what she had said. Her son, whom she hadn't seen in years, was coming to visit. Edward was coming to Seattle? He was reuniting with his parents?

For the millionth time, I wished I was back in Forks with them, but I quickly shook that thought from my head. I had left them, and I couldn't just go back after doing that to them.

I couldn't, because really I knew that Edward must hate me for this, and that he'd never take me back.

…

EPOV

For a long time, I thought I'd never speak to my parents ever again. And then suddenly, I called my mom. I'm still not exactly sure why I did it. I had been sitting on the couch, holding Avery and trying to get her to fall asleep, and suddenly I had missed my own mother. It seemed so immature, missing my mother when I would be twenty one in a few short months, especially since I hadn't talked to her in years. But for some reason, I reached for the phone. I had held it in my hands, just staring at it, for a long time before I finally dialed the number that I somehow still had memorized.

She had cried when she realized who was calling. And she had cried more when I told her I was sober and had been for years. Then she cried even_ more _when I told her that I had a daughter- that she and my dad had a grandchild. And then, she invited Avery and I to dinner the following week.

So here I was. Standing in front of the house I had so eagerly ran away from, holding my daughter in a baby carrier. For a brief moment, I let myself think of Bella. What she would have thought if she knew I was finally talking to my parents again, and taking Avery with me to see them. I think she'd be happy. For a while, she had tried to convince me to do just this, but I had always shot her down.

And now we were in the same city. I wasn't absolutely sure where her mother lived, I couldn't remember, but I knew it couldn't be too far from my parents. I remembered that much.

I had to gather my courage before I rang the doorbell. When I did, the door opened almost immediately and my mother stood there, wearing a dark purple dress and looking exactly how I remembered her. She was silent for a long moment, looking me up and down with her eyes full of tears. Then she cried yet again, and pulled me into her arms. It felt good. I had forgotten how good it felt to be hugged by your mother, no matter how old you were.

"I'm proud of you." She choked out, running her hands over my face and down my shoulders before hugging me again. "And I've missed you so much."

"Thank you." I managed to say, feeling a little choked up. This was all just way too emotional. "And I've missed you too."

She smiled at that, and then looked down at Avery, who was content in her carrier and chewing on the corner of her blanket. "This is…oh, Edward, she's beautiful." My mother exhaled, leaning down to get a closer look at Avery. "Can we go sit down? I'd like to hold her."

"Yeah." I said quickly. I shed my coat and hung it up, and then picked up Avery's carrier and followed my mother into the living room. "Here." I said quietly, placing Avery's carrier on the floor and unbuckling her. I swiftly lifted her onto my lap and took off her hat, mittens, and coat before kissing her on the cheek and then handing her over to my mom.

She gasped quietly as she looked at Avery. "She's so beautiful." My mom murmured, touching the curve of Avery's cheek. "And she has your eyes."

"Your eyes." I corrected her, and she smiled at me with more tears in her eyes.

"Where's her mother?" She asked softly, and I focused on Avery, trying not to think about Bella anymore. And I wasn't sure that my mother would really want to know the answer.

**...**

**I'm sorry I had to cut it off here, I really am. But it's almost one in the morning, and Blakely would like my attention for some unknown reason. So you get a little cliffhanger before I return on the twelfth. Yes, the meeting with Esme will continue next chapter, and yes Carlisle will be there too.**

**Thanks to Wendy for pre-reading, even though she's gone and couldn't do this one. I appreciate it!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	19. Chapter 19

**I've missed this. But our mini-vacation was great and Blakely got spoiled rotten, so I really have no complaints. Except for the fact that I'm going through withdrawal right now and I started typing almost as soon as I got back into the apartment. Jensen is unpacking our stuff and Blakely is napping…so I've got some time to update. **

**This chapter deals with some sensitive subjects, only in the part that is BPOV. Beware!**

**My fabulous pre-reader is still gone…but she's been an immense help so I won't hold it against her or anything ;)**

…

EPOV

My mother's question echoed in my ears, and I remained silent.

"Edward, where's her mother?" Esme repeated, looking from Avery's face to mine.

I rubbed the back of my neck absentmindedly, sighing. "Bella isn't…around." I said slowly. "She was, up until about two months ago. And then one day she just…left." I explained. "She's somewhere in Seattle, with her mother. I think she's going back to finish school or something, and she said that 'she couldn't do this anymore.' Bella is no longer in either of our lives." I said in a hollow voice. "She's gone."

"Are you…are you serious?" Esme asked incredulously, her eyebrows shooting up. "She left her child, just like that? And you?"

"Yes." I muttered. "And I don't know what to do…when Avery grows up, she's going to need her mother." I confessed.

Esme awkwardly rubbed my arm, looking a little hesitant. "Edward…what happened to you?" She asked suddenly, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "Did you…leave because of something that your father and I did? I'm sorry, I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but please…I need to understand this. Please."

I hesitated, and my breathing became shallow as I remembered parts of the life I had so desperately escaped after realizing that it would destroy me. I remember wondering why I had left my parents house, I remember meeting James and taking the first drink, the first line of cocaine. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, the memories painful and fresh in my mind.

"It wasn't because of you." I managed to say. "It was because I was stupid and wanted a thrill. And it didn't take long for me to get in too deep…and when I did, that was pretty much it. It took a lot for me to get away from that life, and I'm sorry for not coming back right away. I thought that you would want nothing to do with me. So I started a new life, and then when Bella got pregnant, things kind of started crashing down again. Somehow I managed to stay above ground, though. I guess I'm stronger than I thought, and when I realized that, I decided that it was time for me to make amends, especially with you and dad."

Esme was quiet for a long moment, a few tears running down her cheeks as she continued to stare at me. Then she blinked and looked down at Avery, and then back up at me. "We missed you. Even though you took a lot of wrong turns, I'm proud of who you are now. You're raising your daughter by yourself and you're sober and…you're back." She whispered, and I managed another smile, although my eyes were filling up with tears.

She leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder, and I welcomed the comfort and familiarity that the gesture brought.

The quiet moment was soon interrupted when I heard the front door open. Esme straightened up slightly, and then stood with Avery in her arms. "That's probably your father." She murmured, smoothing down her hair. "He can't wait to meet Avery." She added as we walked towards the foyer. When we walked into the room, my father was hanging his coat up in the closet, and when he turned around to face us I knew that this was actually going to work out. This was a good idea.

"Edward." He said, a smile on his face. "Welcome home." And then he gave me a hug. I couldn't remember the last time that I had hugged my father, but it didn't feel awkward at all. I felt like I was prodigal son returning, even though I was probably far from that.

"Thank you." I said, and my voice sounded strange, even to myself.

"Carlisle, look." Esme interrupted, nodding down at Avery. She had her head tucked in the crook of my mother's neck, lightly sucking on her thumb as she stared intently at her grandfather. Carlisle smiled, taking a step forward and examining Avery.

"She's going to be a heartbreaker one day." He finally said, smiling at me. "Just look at those big green eyes."

A heartbreaker…just like her mother. That made me want to cringe, but I managed to fake a smile. "Yeah, she will be."

…

BPOV

"Jane, are you sure about this?" I asked hesitantly, looking at myself in the mirror. She had shoved me into a skintight mini dress and a pair of stilettos, and I felt unbelievably uncomfortable. "We don't even have to go out tonight, we could just stay home."

Jane looked at me through the mirror, her expression showing her disgust. "Ugh, no. I want to go to this party. We don't have to stay long." She promised, and then continued to cake her face with makeup. "Now, put your makeup on so we can leave soon." Jane ordered. "You can use any of the stuff I've got." She added, gesturing to her makeup bag.

"Thanks." I muttered, walking over to the mirror. Instead of slathering the makeup on my face like Jane was doing, I applied a light layer of foundation, and then my usual eye makeup and lipstick. "There, I'm done." I said, looking intently at my reflection.

I thought I would look different. After I got pregnant, and especially after Avery was born, I looked so much older. When I left, I expected to look and feel younger, because I was back in the environment I was used to. But I looked the same, except sadder. And I didn't know why.

"Alright, let's go." Jane said, blowing a kiss at her reflection in the mirror.

The party was already in full swing when we walked through the door, and I looked around nervously. I hadn't been to a party since the night I got pregnant, and it felt strange. There were people drinking and smoking and kissing all over the place, and it made me uncomfortable. But I just followed Jane. She headed straight towards the keg, grabbing a drink for herself and for me.

I took mine hesitantly, only taking a little sip while Jane chugged hers down. "I'm going to go say hi to some people." Jane said, talking loudly over the music. Before I could protest, she turned away and was gone. I looked around, even more nervous, but I found absolutely no comfort in my surroundings.

So I walked towards the back of the house, hoping to find somewhere to hide out until Jane was finally ready to leave. I didn't even know why I was here…the whole reason I had left was to grow up, and here I was at a party, not acting mature at all.

I walked around the house aimlessly for a little while, not talking to anyone and trying to avoid eye contact. I didn't see Jane anywhere, and I was starting to worry. After about an hour of this, I walked towards the back of the house again, but instead of finding the solitude I wanted, I ran into a stranger. He loomed over me, reeking of week and alcohol, and I immediately took a step back.

But he smiled at me, taking a step closer to me. "Are you looking for someone?" He asked, slurring his words silently.

I nodded wordlessly, and took another step back, looking over my shoulder. "Just my friend." I said weakly. "Jane."

"I know where Jane is. She's back there, with some of my friends." The guy said, smiling at me and pointing to a door over his shoulder. "Come on." He grabbed my arm before I could protest, pulling me towards the door. I tried to pull away, but it was useless. The guy pushed the door open and walked inside, practically dragging me into the room as well before he shut the door.

My breathing was becoming shallow as I fought back a panic attack, wondering what I should do. I thought the guy had just been lying about Jane, but she _was_ in the room. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw that there were four men in the room, and Jane was lying on the bed. Tears stung my eyes as I realized what was happening; what they were doing. I tried to turn around, but the guy holding my arm just held on tighter.

Before I could even figure out was happening, I was a part of it, lying next to Jane, surrounded by strangers, and completely and totally helpless.

…

I couldn't stop crying through the whole thing. I knew what was happening, I knew what they were doing to me. I cried out for help repeatedly, but no one came. Jane was practically motionless beside me, and for a long time I thought she was dead. It seemed to go on forever, like it was never ending. Eventually it was over, and I felt dirty and used and broken.

**...**

**I didn't have it in me to make that last part graphic at **_**all**_**…yes, Bella and Jane were raped. No, neither of them are dead. This isn't a matter to take lightly, so please don't. Rape is a serious crime, and can destroy lives.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	20. Chapter 20

**NOTE: This chapter was posted several days ago, but for some reason isn't showing up correctly. So if you've already read this one, the next chapter will be out soon. If not, sorry for the technical errors!**

**Thanks for your patience with this chapter…I know last chapter was rough. It will get better from here on, I promise. The HEA will come into effect and everything will eventually be good and everyone will eventually be happy.**

…

BPOV

I kept still for what felt like an eternity, even after they all left. Jane was still beside me, and she had started crying. I silently cried and just laid there on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if this was some kind of horrible karma. Jane just kept on crying, and then she reached over to me.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know they would-…I couldn't stop them…." Jane's voice broke off and just continued to cry, gripping my hand in hers. I looked over at her, fighting the urge to throw up as I moved. She was usually so made up and perfect looking, but now there was makeup running down Jane's face, and bruises. She usually looked tough and strong and superior, but now she looked like a terrified little girl.

"I know." I managed, and then quickly looked away from her. "We…we need to go to the hospital." I managed to croak out.

"No!" Jane cried. "I don't want anyone to see me like this, I don't want anyone to know-"

"They'll contact the police for us." I interrupted her, squeezing her hand as more tears ran down both our faces. "Jane, they _raped _us. They…they did this against our wills and they can't get away with it." I blubbered, losing all of my control. "This isn't how it's supposed to be…" Jane continued sobbing loudly, and I slowly slid out of the bed, trying to find the clothes that had been violently ripped off of me. More sobs ripped through my body as I shakily got dressed, fumbling around the room for my purse.

Luckily, nothing had been taken from it. My money and cell phone were still there, but so much more had just been stolen from me. My hands shook as I picked up my cell phone, but then I put it down, not knowing who I should call. I stumbled back over to Jane, shaking her shoulder gently. "Jane. Jane, I need your car keys." I managed to say, but my voice sounded hollow and far away. And I suddenly I felt numb and cold at the same time, and then I just felt nothing.

…

When I opened my eyes again, I was alone in a hospital room. I kept still, feeling the soreness in my body and not wanting to aggravate it. Blinking several times and looking around, I saw a call button for the nurse on the side of my bed, and I jabbed it repeatedly with my thumb. I was panicking now, not knowing what had happened to me. I remembered what had happened in the bedroom at the party, but not afterwards. I didn't know where Jane was, I didn't know where my mom was, and I had no idea what was going on.

A few seconds later a nurse bustled into the room, accompanied by a tall, blonde doctor and a uniformed police officer. I started breathing heavily, and the nurse busied herself by administering some kind of medicine to me through the IV.

"Miss Swan, if you wouldn't mind, I have some questions I need to ask you." The police officer said kindly. "If it would make you more comfortable, your doctor can stay with you."

I glanced up towards the blonde doctor, who smiled gently at me, and then I nodded at the police officer. "Okay." I croaked.

He cleared his throat as he and the doctor sat in the plastic chairs by the foot of my hospital bed. "Doctor, maybe you should explain…"

The doctor nodded, and then turned towards me. "Miss Swan, you were brought into the hospital last night after you went into shock at a party. You apparently took a nasty fall and hit your head when you passed out. There's a contusion on the back of your head. But when you were given an exam in the ER, I noticed some…anomalies."

"Can you tell us what happened, Miss Swan?" The officer asked.

I nodded, biting my lip as more tears flooded to my eyes. "Wait, where's my mom?" I asked suddenly, remembering her.

"She's just out in the waiting room." The doctor said quickly. "Would you like me to go and get her?"

"Yes, please." I whispered, and the doctor quickly left the room. The police officer and I both remained silent, both of us looking away awkwardly. The doctor reappeared, and my mom darted into the room. She hurried to my side and kissed me, tears in her eyes as she looked me over.

After my mom tearfully looked me over and asked me how I was a million times, the officer cleared his throat, and my mom stepped back and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Alright, Miss Swan. Can you tell me what happened last night?" The officer repeated kindly.

I took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling instead of the three people gathered around me in the room. "Jane…Jane and I went to a party. We split up when we got there…I walked around for a little while and I never saw Jane, so I got worried. I went looking for her and there was this guy…" I shuddered and took a deep breath, trying not to completely lose it. "He said he knew where Jane was and before I could stop him he pulled me into the bedroom and-" I started crying uncontrollably then, my body practically convulsing as I sobbed. The doctor quickly got up and exited the room, returning almost immediately with a sedative. I didn't even flinch as he gave me the shot, but I immediately felt the effects as my tense body started to loosen up.

"Just calm down." He said softly, looking up at the machine that was keeping track of my heart rate. Just then, his cell phone started ringing. He glanced at it quickly, and I saw his face soften slightly. "If you would excuse me." He said, hastily standing up. "I'll be back when you're done to explain the extent of your injuries to you."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me, and I was thankful for the sedative the doctor had given me. It was already calming me down.

"Can you continue?" The officer asked, and I nodded again after a slight hesitation.

"The guy…he took me into the bedroom and closed the door. There were four other men in there, and Jane…she, uh, she was already on the bed. I knew what was happening but there was nothing I could do. I tried to get away but he was stronger than me…I just started crying and I didn't stop until it was over."

The officer nodded, looking at me sympathetically. "I'm going to need some more details, Miss Swan. What _exactly _did the five men do to you and your friend?" He asked, and I tensed up.

"It was dark, I couldn't see who, but…one of them, um, forced himself onto me…and then when he finished, another one did the same thing while the guy that brought me in there…um, while he made me…perform…oral sex on him." I managed to get out, and my mom started crying, reaching over and touching my tender, bruised cheek. "The other two were with Jane, I don't know what happened to her exactly."

"And how long do you think the whole thing took?" The officer asked, looking up at me with obvious pity in his eyes.

"Uh…I don't know. It felt like it lasted a lifetime but it was probably only a little over twenty minutes…somewhere around there." I whispered.

The officer nodded, looking down at the notes he had just taken. "We've been questioning people who were at the party, but because there was underage drinking involved, no one wants to fess up to anything. But I promise to do my best to find these guys and get them convicted for what they did to you and your friend."

"Thank you." I said softly.

"If you need to talk to anyone, or you remember something else, here's my card." He added as he stood up. My mom took it from him and glanced at it, nodding and thanking him as well. When he left the room, my mom turned to me again, taking my face in her hands.

"Oh, Bella…what were you thinking, going to that party?" She asked softly, carefully stroking my cheeks with her thumbs. I started crying again, thinking she was mad at me. "Honey, it's not your fault. You didn't know that was going to happen…I was so worried about you." My mom whispered, wiping my tears away with the pad of her thumb. "Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone? Dr. Cullen said they have therapists here who-"

At the mention of the name _Dr. Cullen_, I froze. Not again. First, I had met Edward's mother at the bookstore, and now his father was my doctor? This was a sick twist of fate.

"Dr. Cullen…the blonde one?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

My mom nodded, furrowing her eyebrows. "Yes, he's been very helpful." She said softly. "He's the one who realized that something serious had happened to you."

I didn't say anything, and then the door opened and Dr. Cullen walked in, clipboard in hand. "Well, Miss Swan, are you feeling any better?" He asked, flipping through my chart and taking a glance at my heart rate. I nodded, and he wrote something down on my chart. "Don't forget, it's recommended that you talk to a specialist about this-"

"I'm fine." I said, trying to sound stronger than I felt. "I…I understand what's going on, and what happened. I'll be okay." My mom and Dr. Cullen both frowned a little, but neither of them commented on my decision.

"Alright, then, let's talk about your injuries. If this gets to be too much, just let me know and we can stop." Dr. Cullen said. I nodded once more, not trusting myself to speak because if I did, my voice would betray my emotions. "You were brought into the ER after a call to 911 saying that you had fainted, probably due to shock." He began, looking me in the eye. He looked so much like Edward, but not in an obvious way.

It was in the curl of his lips when he spoke, the sharp angle of his jaw, the way his eyes were light in the middle and almost black along the outside of the iris.

"I examined you and found a contusion on the back of your head, which is probably still a little tender, so be careful. You had a moderate concussion, so we kept you for a little while for observation." He explained. "Do you remember any of this?" I shook my head, and Dr. Cullen continued. "I noticed bruising on your face which were not relevant to your fall…and dried tears. After a more extensive exam, my colleague and I found more bruising and signs of abuse and distress…your friend, Miss Volturi came into the ER for her own wounds to be treated, and then told her doctor what had happened, which is when the police were brought into this."

"Okay." I croaked out, fisting my hands in the sheets.

"Miss Swan, I know this may not be what to want to hear, and you may not think it's true, but you're lucky. Many victims like you are severally beaten or even killed after their attacks."

My mom burst into tears yet again, but I remained silent. I didn't want to have to cry anymore.

…

**Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	21. Chapter 21

**So things are starting to come together a little bit, like I promised. But we're still not quite there yet. We had a little hold-up with the last chapter, not sure why, but chapter 20 wasn't showing up. So I took it down and reposted it- hopefully it's up and running now.**

**Not sure if I said this or not, but my husband and I are leaving Friday night to go on a little getaway so we can celebrate our one year anniversary a couple weeks early (the actual date is August 15) and I'll be gone from the twenty third until the first of August.**

…

EPOV

It had been good to reconnect with my parents again, but it was even better to be home. I rocked Avery gently in my arms as I feed her, glancing at the clock and sighing. I had to go to work in ten minutes, and Alice would be here soon.

Over the past few months, Alice has been around a lot, along with her boyfriend Jasper. Whenever I have to work and Charlie is unavailable, they're always more than happy to help out. At first I had been a little wary of Alice, but then I had quickly warmed up to her. Alice was charismatic and easy to talk to and I could see why she had tried to befriend Bella right away. Alice wanted to help people, she wanted to understand what people were going through. And she had an uncanny knack for figuring that kind of stuff out. Plus, she adored Avery. She spoiled her in every sense of the word, which was good. Since Bella left, I've had less and less time to get everything done, meaning I don't get to spend time with Avery.

And she was already growing up so fast. In the three months that Bella has been gone, Avery has started responding to her own name, has started trying to talk, and has fallen in love with her own expression. Even though this life used to be the last thing I had ever wanted, now I couldn't imagine missing out on these precious moments. It's heartbreaking when Avery cries when I leave, even though she waves beforehand. I can't stop thinking about how there's a good chance Avery will never really know Bella.

Because I missed her. I had her, and then I lost her for both Avery and me. At first the raging hate had consumed me and made me numb, but that was mostly gone now. I had wanted to hurt her by trying to get her rights taken away, but I had never been able to go through with it. I was secretly hoping that Bella would come back, even though I don't know if I would ever be able to forgive her.

It was unfair, and not just for me. For Avery and Charlie, too.

…**..**

BPOV

"You don't have to send him one, if you don't want to." Renée said gently, looking over my shoulder. It had been two weeks since my hospital stay, and my mother was still walking around on eggshells. Yes, what had happened was awful and hurtful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I didn't want to talk about it ever again. It was a part of my life that I wanted to forget, just like I wanted to forget about leaving my baby…but I couldn't.

I had thought that the pain would eventually lessen, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It gets stronger each and every day, and I know that one day, it's just going to burst and I'm going to be in pieces all over again. This is supposed to be better for them and for me- but I can't help feeling that it's not. At least not for me. After a few months, there's a good chance Avery won't even remember me. It's already been three long months…she's probably already started changing and growing up so much.

I blinked back tears, and then glanced up at my mom. "I know." I said softly, looking down at the stack of graduation announcements and invitations in front of me. "I doubt he'll come…but I just want him to know that I got off my ass and actually finished high school."

Renée nodded distractedly, stroking my hair softly. "It's your call, baby." She murmured. "You know, I thought we should talk a little bit about what happened. You know that it's not good to keep all your emotions and feelings bottled up inside, and I just want to-"

"Mom, please. I _really_ don't have anything to say about it, so just let it go." I pleaded. "I want to forget about it and move on…I'm not going to let myself remember what…what they did. It's going to be bad enough when I have to go in for my follow-up tomorrow."

"Okay." My mom relented, and then kissed the top of my head. "Invite him if you want, honey. He's always going to be a part of your life."

I nodded silently and listened to my mom leave the room, her bare feet padding quietly across the carpeted floor of my bedroom. Taking a deep breath, I painstakingly wrote the familiar address down on the envelope and jammed and announcement and invitation inside, licking the flap and quickly sealing it shut. Then I dropped it in a pile with the rest of the addressed envelopes, and decided to not think about it again until I had to.

That seemed to be my new approach on life- just shutting things away and trying to block them out. It made things easier now, but I knew that wouldn't last for long. I had done this- uprooted my life, not to mention Edward and Avery's, and it was supposed to make things better. I was quickly learning what a bad decision I had made, but I also knew I couldn't just walk back into their lives, because that wouldn't be right or fair to anyone.

…

"Noticed any swelling? Pain?" Dr. Cullen asked, gently prodding at the back of my head.

"No." I said softly, holding still. "It hasn't been bothering me at all." I said.

Dr. Cullen nodded, and then pulled off his gloves and picked up my chart. "If you're not experiencing any pain, then, I say you're good to go." He advised, and then glanced up at me from his clipboard. "Graduating soon?" He asked conversationally, and I nodded.

"Yes, in three weeks." I said. Then for some reason, I decided to address my morbid curiosity. "Do you have any children, Dr. Cullen?"

"In fact, I do. A son. He's several years older than you, and we just now got our relationship back on track." He said, offering me a smile. "He has an adorable eleven month old daughter, I'm sure that has something to do with his change of heart."

I forced myself to smile, although my heart was really aching. Avery's eleven month birthday would be in eleven days, and I wouldn't be there. Just like I hadn't been there for the past three months.

…

**Please review, it means a whole bunch to me!**

**Going to try and update 'Eye of the Beholder' tomorrow, and I'm **_**still **_**working on the last chapter of 'Divine Mercy'. Sadly, I might not be able to get that done until I get home in August. As always, we'll just have to sit around and wait and see.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	22. Chapter 22

**FYI, Bella didn't send anything to Edward! That's not who she and Renée were talking about.**

**I swear, we're **_**this **_**close to a reunion between our wonderful Edward and Bella. In fact, we see a little interaction in this very chapter, so get pumped. Also, the story now has over 400 reviews. Guys…that's amazing, and it makes this story my tenth most reviewed story out of over thirty. Thank you so much, I can never say it enough.**

**My fabulous pre-reader, Twilight44, is still gone, and we miss her. She'll be back soon =)**

**This chapter is dedicated to LVQueen1 as an early birthday present! Happy birthday, and thanks for your support and reviews!**

…

EPOV

"Something from Bella came in the mail the other day." Charlie's voice rang out in the silent room, and I slowly turned around to face him, holding Avery in my arms. "I think you should take a look." Charlie held an opened light blue envelope out to me, and I hesitated for a long moment before taking it from him. As I did, Charlie stepped forward and gently eased Avery out of my arms. "There's a note in there for you." He said gruffly. "Edward…something happened to Bella a few weeks ago. Her mother called me and told me right away, but I thought it would be best for you to find out from her. And I guess she thought so too." Charlie murmured. "I'll take Avery into the kitchen and give you a little privacy." He added, and then quickly walked out of the room.

I stared down at the envelope in my hands for a long moment before I took out the three pieces of paper that were tucked inside of it. One of them was a graduation announcement- the date was a little over three weeks from now. I hadn't known Bella had gone back to high school- I thought she would get a GED instead.

The second piece of paper was an invitation to the graduation, detailing that two seats had been reserved for Charlie, if he decided to come. I couldn't help but wonder if one of those seats had been meant for me. Because I hoped Bella missed me like I missed her- I hope she thinks about me as often as I think about her and I hope she wants to come home like I want her to come home. Sighing to myself, I pulled out the third sheet of paper.

It was a folded over note, with my name written on it in Bella's handwriting. I closed my eyes briefly before opening the note with shaking hands, and I started to read.

_Dear Edward,_

_I'm sorry to be writing this through my dad, I know he'll read it before you do. But I don't care. I know that I made this choice and that I have to face the consequences, but I do miss you and Avery. I think about you all the time, even though I probably shouldn't. I really hope you're reading this, because there are some things I think you should know._

_I left you, and Avery, because I was scared and stupid and convinced that if I ran away, I could have my old, perfect life back. I was painfully wrong. I'm not going to cry to you, because you don't need to listen to me whine, but I feel like you have to know for some reason. Last month, something happened to me. The police are investigating it now, but they don't exactly have any leads. It's over now, though, and I'm trying to not think about it. And I don't know why it's so hard for me to spit it out and write it down. I was raped. There it is, and it looks even worse on paper._

_Don't feel bad for me, please. You certainly don't owe me anything._

_Your dad was the person who took care of me afterwards- he's my doctor. And I met your mom once, at the bookstore where I work. I didn't tell either of them who I was, but both of them mentioned you being back in their lives, just in passing, and they looked so unbelievably happy. I'm so glad you reconnected with them. I'm staying with my mom, by the way. In case you were wondering…which you probably weren't._

_Anyway, I need to get on to what I really wanted to say. _

_It would mean a lot to me if you would come to my graduation. But you don't have to- I understand completely if you still hate me and want to stay the hell away from me. But if you don't…then please come. You don't have to bring Avery if that would make you uncomfortable, I understand. I feel bad for missing her last three months, but I know it's my fault. I was hoping that you and I could…talk if you came to my graduation._

_I do regret that I left you and Avery. I regretted it the moment I walked out the door, but I didn't have the heart to go back once I left. Edward, you have every right to hate the very ground I walk on. I hurt you, I put you in a terrible position, I left you, and I blamed you for a lot of things that weren't even your fault. _

_I'm sorry, for everything._

_Bella_

I looked up in disbelief after reading the letter, my thoughts jumbled. Bella's thoughts had undeniably been all over the place, but I understood. She was nervous. But it was so good to know that she did miss us, that she did regret her choice. And that she was sorry.

I couldn't believe what she had gone through, though. Despite the tough exterior she put up, I know that Bella must be going through a lot. And then she wrote the letter and…I'm even more confused. I'm walking an extremely thin and blurred line of hate and love here, and I can't decide for the life of me which side I should choose. Hate would be the easiest- it would be laughably simple to just forget about my romantic feelings for Bella and to just be content to hate her for the rest of my life. But I didn't want to, not even a little bit.

"Are you going to go?" Charlie asked, stepping into the living room again. Avery whimpered and held her arms out for me, and I quickly took her and held her close.

"I…I think so." I said, looking down at the letter, which was still clutched tightly in my hand. "But I can't bring Avery…that would be too much."

Charlie agreed, looking down at the eleven month old in his arms. She would be a year old in just one month, and I couldn't believe that she was growing up so quickly. And now that my parents had met Avery, they couldn't get enough of her. They wanted to be around her all the time, and they even had started to pressure me to move back to Seattle. It sounded good, but I couldn't do that yet. I just…couldn't. Not right now.

"I should get going." I said, glancing at my watch. "Thanks for watching her."

"No problem." Charlie said, kissing Avery's cheek. "I know you don't need me to watch her for a while, but bring her by sometime, okay?"

I nodded, taking Avery from Charlie and grabbed her diaper bag. "Thanks again." I said, walking towards the door. "Oh…here." I said, turning around and handing the envelope back to Charlie. "I'm…I'm going to keep the note." I added, and Charlie silently took the other two pieces of paper back. Then I hurried out to the car, carefully strapping Avery into her car seat before driving off.

When I got back to the apartment building, I was surprised to see Alice's familiar yellow car in the parking lot. Alice was standing there next to it, her arms crossed over her chest. I parked next to her car, and she didn't look at me as I got out of the car and got Avery out as well.

"Are you all right?" I called over to her, scooping Avery up in one arm and grabbing her diaper bag with the other.

Alice shook her head, and then I saw that she was holding a crumpled blue envelope in her hand. "Did she tell you?" She asked as I walked closer to her. Not waiting for reply, she reached into the envelope and extracted a piece of paper with her name written in Bella's handwriting. I slowly took the note and Alice took Avery out of my arms.

_Dear Alice,_

_I know you've probably figured out what happened. I'm sorry, but you need to know that I needed to do this for me, even though it hasn't exactly worked out. I wish we could have become better friends, but then I left and that was it. I think we could have been really close, even though I wasn't exactly looking for a friend when you approached me that day in the library._

_I thought that if I left, my old life would just fall back into place. But some things have happened to me, and my life is more different than ever. You don't have to like me, but I thought I would invite you. And if you see Edward…ask if he's going to come. I was too chicken to tell him how much I really miss him and how much I want to see him. You certainly don't owe me anything, but I would appreciate you doing that._

_Congratulations, by the way. For graduating and everything…I saw some announcements in the paper yesterday. I'm insanely jealous that you guys got to graduate three weeks before I do._

_Bella_

I swallowed heavily and handed the note back to Alice, averting my eyes. "She really likes writing letters." I muttered, running my hand through my hair. "I…um, are you going to go?" I asked, and Alice shrugged.

"I think so. I…I do want to see her. Edward, do you know what happened to her?" She asked, and I sighed.

"Yes, but I don't think I should say it. It's kind of personal, and if she didn't tell you…"

"Yeah, I get it." Alice said, stroking Avery's cheek gently. "It's okay. Well…I just came over here to show you that, so I should probably get going. Are you going to graduation too?"

I nodded, taking Avery back. She was half asleep, resting her head on my shoulder and gripping my tee shirt in her tiny little hand. "Yeah, but there's no way I'm bringing Avery. She'll stay with my parents. Do you want to drive together?"

Alice nodded, smiling at me. "Yeah, that would be great. Thanks." She said, and then leaned over and kissed Avery on the forehead. "Bye, guys." She said, giving me a friendly hug. "Jazz and I have a date tonight, so now I _really _need to go!" She laughed, and then kissed Avery one more time. "Bye!" She called again, getting into her car and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Alright, little lady, let's go inside." I said, and Avery just nuzzled against the crook of my neck. We headed upstairs to the empty apartment and I tried to ignore the nagging feeling of loneliness in my chest, even though it was getting harder and harder to ignore.

**...**

BPOV

"You look so grown up." My mom said tearfully, snapping another picture. "Congratulations, Bella. I am _so _proud of you." She said, and I managed a smile as I smoothed down my red graduation gown.

"Thanks, mom." I said, and she gave me a big hug. "We should probably head out to the school, though. We need to be there soon." I pointed out, glancing at the clock. "I'm really excited." I remarked as we headed out to the car. "Finally done with high school…moving on to the next point in my life." Even I could hear the hollowness in my voice, and it matched the hollowness I felt inside.

My mom was silent for a moment, and then glanced over at me as she started to drive to the school. "Honey, I am so proud of you." She repeated. "But…what are you going to do know? You've gotten into colleges, but you haven't chosen one yet. What are you planning on doing?"

"It kind of depends on how today goes." I said softly, and my mom shot me a questioning look. "I think Edward is coming…and I really need to talk to him about the future." I explained. "About what is going to happen now that I'm finally out of high school."

"Okay. Do you want me to be there?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"This is something I should be doing on my own. I've been so immature in the past- this is really my chance to show that I have matured, at least a little bit." I murmured, playing with the tassel of my graduation cap, which was sitting on my lap. "I miss him and Avery. A lot." I added, and my mom didn't say anything. She just looked over at me with apprehension in her eyes.

…

It didn't take me long to spot him. I stood behind the curtain on the stage with the rest of my classmates, and I immediately sought him out in the crowd. His bright auburn hair stood out, and he was taller than a lot of the crowd. I inhaled sharply when I saw him, my heart starting to pound in my chest. Squinting, I followed him with my eyes, watching as he wove through the crowd towards he seats. I saw that there was someone walking with him, but I couldn't see who it was.

Edward finally reached his seat and sat down, the person he was with sitting down as well. I smiled when I saw who he had sat down next to.

I immediately recognized my father sitting on Edward's left, and my heart warmed as I saw him. I had missed him too, and I was glad he came to see me graduate, seeing as how I left him, too. And I was stunned to see the person sitting on Edward's right. It was Alice. I had invited her, but I didn't think she would have come with Edward…they barely knew each other.

"Hey, Bella." Jane appeared next to me, wearing her red graduation gown.

"Hey." I said, smiling at Jane. Since the night of the party, Jane has changed a lot. She's quieter, more reserved. It's not bad, but it's also not _Jane_. It's like she's afraid to be herself. It has affected her more than me, and I feel bad for her. Jane didn't deserve that either. Neither of us had. "Are you all ready to go?" I asked, and Jane nodded.

"Yeah, I leave for my graduation trip in two days. My parents are taking my brother and I on a cruise." She said, looking down at her feet. "I just came over to say hi…I'm going to go stand where I'm supposed to." Jane blurted out quickly, and then hurried towards the back of the line.

I watched her go, and then peeked out through the curtain again, focusing on Edward and Alice. They were sitting close together, and I cringed when I saw Edward whisper something in Alice's ear that made her laugh. I knew that Edward was a good guy, and that he would eventually find a good girlfriend he deserved…but _Alice_? I had been so sure about Alice and Jasper, but now Alice was getting cozy with Edward.

But before I could get totally lost in my thoughts, the rest of my classmates and I were herded into our alphabetical line, and we were marched into the outdoor auditorium. I tried to find Edward again, but now that we were moving and all the people in the audience were sitting, it was harder to see.

Graduation went by quickly. I barely listened to the class speakers and the other various speeches, I was just waiting for this to be over. I wanted to talk to Edward so badly, it was almost a physical pain in my chest.

And then it was finally over. I walked across the stage and they handed me the diploma, and then that was it. I was a high school graduate with my future in front of me. I had opportunities and choices, and I had matured, at least a little bit.

Afterwards I made my way through the throngs of people, searching for the one person I wanted to see most. My mom stopped me on the way, snapping pictures and hugging me and congratulating me. Various classmates stopped me as well, and I posed for countless pictures with the people I had graduated with. Then I continued looking for him, and after I pushed through a group of people…he was there. He was standing four feet away from me, talking to my dad with Alice at his side. I watched for a moment as he laughed and pulled gently on a piece of Alice's short hair, and then I cleared my throat and stepped forward.

My dad, Edward, and Alice all turned to look at me, their expressions all a little nervous and surprised. "Bells." My dad spoke first, stepping towards me and hugging me tightly. "Congratulations. I'm…um, well, good job." He said, releasing me and then stepping back again.

"Thanks." I said, taking off my cap and turning it over in my hands. "Hi, Alice. Thanks for coming." I said, trying to smile.

Alice nodded, her face a little pinched. "No problem. Congratulations." She said stiffly.

Then I turned to Edward, my heart beating frantically. "Hi." I said softly, and he didn't say anything. "Can…can we talk?" I asked awkwardly. "We could go get dinner or something…" I suggested weakly.

Edward finally nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, okay. I'll drive." He said, and then looked over at my dad and Alice. "I'll see you guys later. Alice, I'll meet you at my parents house, okay?" He said, and Alice nodded before giving him a hug and walking off with Charlie.

"Thank you for coming." I said stiffly as we walked through the crowd towards the parking lot. "I've missed you." Edward nodded, not speaking, and I started to unzip my graduation gown, tugging on the zipper to reveal the green dress I had on underneath. "Did you…um, did you get my letter?" I asked.

"Yeah, I did." Edward said shortly as we reached his familiar silver car. He paused for a moment, looking at me uncomfortably as we both got into the car. "I'm sorry about what happened, Bella. You didn't deserve that…no one does." He murmured, and I nodded my head.

"You don't think I deserve to burn in hell?" I asked, my voice heavy.

Edward stared at me for a second, and then quickly shook his head. "Not in a million years."

…

**I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter! I'm not sure if I'll update before Jensen and I leave…so we might have to leave it there for a week.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry I'm so late with this…Jensen and I got back from our early anniversary trip and found out that Blakely had a raging ear infection…and still does. It's been a little hectic around here. And I'm not sure how long this chapter will be, because I have to take Blakely to the doctor again before they close!**

**Thanks forever and ever to Wendy, my pre-reader =)**

…

BPOV

The silence in the car was heavy and palpable. Edward stared straight ahead, clenching his hands so tightly around the steering wheel that I could see the white of his knuckles. I kept glancing over at him- I couldn't help it. But it wasn't until he stopped at a stop sign that he finally glanced over at me.

And when he did, his eyes were so full of an emotion that I couldn't place. He looked back towards the road quickly, and left me curious. We had been together for over a year, and I had never seen him look at me in the way that he just did. And I was too scared to wonder what he really thought of me. It meant a lot to me that he had come. I had honestly expected for both Edward and Alice to blow off my invitation, so it was a pleasant surprise to see both of them. I could have been Alice's friend…she probably would have been an amazing friend to me. She tried to understand, she didn't judge me, and she actually listened to me.

But I had thrown that all away, much like I did with Edward. Even when we had fought, Edward always made some gesture to make things seem okay again. It would be a simple kiss or touch or hug, but that had always made me feel like it was all going to be alright. I would probably never get that back, either. I had lied to myself so much that I didn't even really know who I was anymore.

Everything felt like a lie. And ever since what happened to Jane and I…I'm so aware of all the things I gave up and all the things I could have avoided if I had just sucked it up and stuck to my responsibilities and obligations.

"Is this okay?" I jerked my head up at the sound of Edward's voice, surprised to see that we were parked in front of a small deli/café.

"Um, yeah. Sounds good." I said, fumbling with my seatbelt and getting out of the car. I left my graduation gown flung over the back of the seat, not caring in the slightest if it got wrinkled.

I followed him inside with my arms crossed uncomfortably and awkwardly over my chest. We sat down at a table by the window, and Edward just looked at me. He looked older- his eyes tired and worn, his mouth pulled down in a slight frown. "Bella…I'm not sure if this is a good idea." Edward blurted out, running his hands through his hair and tugging on the ends.

"No, please, I just want to talk about some things." I pleaded, catching his arm. He jerked away from me quickly, the look on his face practically breaking my heart. He looked terrified and angry, but quickly controlled himself. "I know you must hate me, Edward, and I don't blame you for not missing me.

"You think I don't miss you?" Edward interrupted me, sounding angry again. "Bella, I miss you so fucking much that it's driving me crazy. Because you're right, I should hate you for everything that you've put me through and everything that you've done to me. But I can't."

I stiffened in my seat, taken aback by his confession. "Edward, I-" I paused, no idea what I wanted to say. "I…" I trailed off, at a loss for words.

"That's what I thought." Edward murmured, picking up his menu and looking at it instead of at me. The waitress came up and took our orders, and I couldn't help but notice how she looked at Edward. I bristled slightly, but then the waitress left and that was it. "I'm sorry, this is too weird. What exactly do you want to talk about?" Edward finally asked, clearing his throat.

I didn't respond immediately- I unwrapped my silverware and place my paper napkin on my lap, and then I tightly clutched my fork in my hand. "I know I messed up a lot and haven't been a very good person." I began, looking down at the tabletop. "But I'm trying. I finished up high school and I want to find a college to go to and even though I haven't been at all mature in the past, I want to be now. I know I left behind a lot, and that you didn't deserve me deserting you like that, but I was hoping that you would consider…uh, letting me see Avery again."

Edward stared at me for a long moment, the frown on his face more pronounced than it had been before. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He finally spat out, his eyes burning into mine.

"I know it sounds retarded, but I'm not." I said, biting my lip. "I'm not asking to be what I used to be…I just want to see her. I've missed both of you…a lot."

"This is ridiculous. You can't have it both ways, Bella. You were the one to leave us- you gave up the right to be around her." Edward snapped.

Tears stung my eyes, even though I knew that Edward was right. "I know." I said, gritting my teeth, hoping that I wouldn't start crying. "I know." I repeated. "I'm trying, though. I'm trying to be different and I know that I was wrong and that I shouldn't have left, especially the way I did."

Edward continued to stare at me, one of his hands tangled in his hair. "You're fucking insane." He muttered under his breath. But he continued to stare at me, and eventually his gaze softened. "Her birthday is next week." He finally said softly. "My parents…they want to have some people over. Charlie and Alice are coming…I guess you could come with your mom. Stay for a couple of hours, and then leave."

"Okay." I said quickly. "Okay, thank you." I bristled slightly at the mention of Alice coming to his parent's house, but shook it off quickly. I had no idea what was going on there, and it wasn't my place to ask. Our food arrived then, and I pushed it to the side slightly. "Will you call me? My dad has my mom's phone number, so you can get a hold of me that way."

"Yeah." Edward muttered, looking down at his sandwich and then glancing at his watch. "I'm sorry, Bella, I can't sit through this…can we leave?"

"Um, sure." I said, blushing bright red. He couldn't even stand to be around me…and I couldn't blame him. "You can go. I'll get a taxi back to my mom's house. Thank you so much, Edward. It means so much to me." Edward mumbled back a reply, asked our waitress for the bill and takeout boxes, and then after he paid for our food he pressed some money into my hand, mumbling something about paying for a taxi.

And then he left.

…

**Off to the doctors…wish us luck!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	24. Chapter 24

**Yikes, this is out later than I planned. But Blakely is still having some troubles, so that's that. But thanks for being so patient with me. I have some bad news and, well, some more bad news. **

**The first piece of news is that this update is going to be a bit short. The other bad news is that I have no idea when I'll update again- it'll probably be another week or so, or maybe sooner if things in real life die down a little bit. But I promise to do my best to get the next chapter out whenever I get the chance. Thanks a million for all your reviews and support!**

**My pre-reader is gone again, so this one is all me.**

…

BPOV

I was nervous. I fidgeted restlessly, running a brush through my hair and applying more chapstick and running a lint brush over my dress for the millionth time. It was Avery's first birthday, and I was going to see her for the first in months. It was a lot to take in.

I continued to look in the mirror, wondering if I looked okay. My dark red dress hit right at me knee and my makeup was light. I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard, even though I wanted nothing more than to look as good as I possibly good. I could only imagine what Edward's parents thought of me, and I already knew how Edward felt. But I owed him everything for even letting me come tonight.

Missing Avery was worse than I had ever anticipated. I knew from the start that it would be hard, because she was my baby. Despite the difficult circumstances that I hated, she would always have all of my love, and more. Even with everything that has happened to me, I cannot bring myself to fully regret my decision to leave. Otherwise, I'd still be miserable in Forks, and I wouldn't know how much I really love Edward.

For months, I've been kidding myself, trying to convince myself that I care for Edward, but nothing more. Trying to tell myself that because of our circumstances, I would never really be able to love him. Because for a long time, I had tried to convince myself that Edward had gotten me pregnant and taken away what was left of my youth. But there was no use ignoring the truth anymore- Edward and I were both at fault for me getting pregnant. And while Edward tried his hardest to take care of me and Avery, I had just tried my hardest to remain unattached.

And look where that's gotten me.

I still have nightmares about that night- I haven't had a good night's sleep since then. I can still feel their hands all over me, I can still remember every unwanted touch, and I still remember that no one came to my rescue or to Jane's.

…**..**

"You're sure about this right?" My mom asked anxiously, peering out the car window at the Cullen's house.

"Yeah." I whispered, chewing on my lower lip as I concentrated on the bright pink wrapped box in my lap. "I really need to do this mom. I miss her."

My mom nodded, and then rubbed my shoulder gently. "I'm sorry I can't come." She murmured. "I would, you know. Just to make it a little easier on you. But work-"

"I know." I interrupted, looking up at her and shrugging slightly. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I can do this. I just…I don't want all of them to hate me." I said in a small voice. "Edward's parents know what I did…they must hate me. And Alice and Charlie and Edward…" I trailed off, not even wanting to think about how awful they could treat me, because even I had to admit that I deserved it.

"You'll be fine, Bella. Your father loves you, and I know he'll always be there for you. He might not agree with the choices that you have made, but he's still your dad." She said soothing, and then looked at the time and groaned. "I'm sorry, honey, but I really have to get going. I'm sure everything will be fine, but if you need me I'm a phone call away." She assured me. "I love you."

"Okay…thanks for the ride. I love you too." I managed to mumble, and then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. I got out of the car with Avery's present in my arms. I watched my mom wave and then slowly drive away, and then I took a huge deep breath and turned around. When I did, Edward was standing in the doorway of the house, smiling slightly with his arms crossed over his chest.

I slowly walked up the short path to the house, and then ducked my head. "Hi." I said softly. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Hey." Edward replied. "Um, no problem." He said, his voice a little rough. "You can come in." He added, holding the front door open wider and letting me go in ahead of him.

"Thanks." I said again, stepping into the house. It was large but cozy, and it smelled like cookies and vanilla.

Edward stepped ahead of me again, looking over his shoulder at me. His eyes were bright and warm, but still wary. "Everyone is already here…you can just come in here." He finally said, and then led me into the living room. I followed him stiffly, tensing up even further when we walked into the room. Edward's parents were seated on one of the couches, and Alice and Charlie were on the other. Avery was on Alice's lap, laughing happily as Alice cooed at her.

They all fell silent as I walked into the room, but I didn't blame them at all.

"Um, Bella's here." Edward finally spoke, and Esme stood up. She looked a little unsure at first, but she approached me anyway.

"Hello, Bella. I'm not sure if you remember, but we've met once before…at the bookstore." Esme extended her hand to me, and Edward quickly took the present out of my arms so I could shake Esme's hand.

"Yes." I said, my voice cracking slightly. "Thank you for having me." I added, feeling small and cowardly.

Esme smiled, a little tightly, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Well, come sit down."

…**..**

**Sorry for the mini-cliffhanger, but I've got to get going. I have to pick Jensen up at the train station…he was out of town for the day.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	25. Chapter 25

**Good news is that Blakely is **_**finally **_**starting to respond to some medication the doctor is giving her for her ear infections, at this rate, she won't need tubes and if she does, it won't be for a few more years. So I've got that off my chest.**

**The bad news is that I work. A lot. I have no 'regular' hours during the week, and I spend a lot of my time on weekends doing free lance stuff. Babies are really expensive, and I'd like to retire some day, you know? But I'm still going to be here, even when there are long delays in between updates or when chapters are short. I'm not going anywhere!**

**For the millionth, billionth time, thanks to Wendy for pre-reading. I don't think I can ever thank you enough!**

…

BPOV

I awkwardly sat down next to Esme on the couch, and watched as Edward sat down next to Alice. She looked away from Avery and whispered something to him, smiling. It hurt to see them together- carefree and easygoing. I had never been truly carefree in over a year, because of everything that has gone on in my life.

Unable to stop myself, I immediately started to compare myself against Alice.

She was pretty. Her pale skin was complimented by her big hazel eyes and extremely dark hair that was almost black. Her features were so petite that she almost looked like a little porcelain doll. Her makeup was perfectly applied- light eyeliner and mascara with blood red lipstick. Alice wasn't pretty, actually, she was beautiful.

And here I was. I had gotten even paler in the past couple of weeks, and I couldn't help but notice the slight grey tinge to my skin. My hair had lost its luster sometime in the last few months, and hung in a limp ponytail. I knew my skin was dry and my lips were chapped, and my eyes probably looked tired thanks to the very little sleep I had been getting.

When I put myself up against Alice, it was clear who was better. And not just when it came to looks, but in everything. She was a better person than me- I was always going to define myself by my mistakes, I couldn't help it. They were burned into my brain and there was no way I would ever be able to forget. Alice however, seemed to be weighed down by nothing.

The silence carried for a moment, and then Esme spoke.

"Let's go have cake before Avery needs to go down for her nap." She said suddenly, standing up quickly. "And then Avery can open her presents."

Everyone else stood, and Alice handed Avery over to Edward. I watched enviously as he immediately kissed the top of Avery's head and then clasped Alice's shoulder with his hand, squeezing gently.

I tore my eyes away, heat rushing to my cheeks, and then my dad came to the rescue.

"Are you okay, Bella?" He asked in a hushed voice, the two of us hanging back.

I managed a smile, looking up at my dad and realized how much I had really missed him, too. "Yeah." I whispered, and then threw my arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I love you."

He was still for a moment, and then hugged me back, holding me close. "I love you too, Bella. It's been tough without you. Edward…he's been going through a hard time." Before I could respond, Charlie took a step back. "We should probably join them. And I've missed you, Bells."

I wiped my eyes and Charlie led me into the Cullen's dining room. There was a pretty purple and pink cake on the table, and Avery was babbling nonsense words, trying to wriggle out of Edward's arms to get closer to the cake. As I stood back and watched, the Cullen's and Alice and my dad interacted easily, laughing and watching Avery and chatting. Esme placed a candle in the cake, and lit it as she did so Carlisle flipped off the overhead lights. I tensed slightly as the lights went out, trying not to remember that night.

Darkness always made me remember.

Luckily, I managed to stay in the present as I focused on Avery, watching her and wishing I had been a better mother.

As we sang her happy birthday, Avery's wide eyes remained transfixed on her cake, and my heart continued to ache. She refused to blow out the candle when the song was over, so Alice laughed and did it for her. My heart ached even harder as Avery giggled, clapping her hands together at Alice's antics.

I was still a little out of it as Esme cut the cake and started handing it out, until Alice nudged me. "Bella? Do you want chocolate?"

"Oh. Um, yes please." I said, a light blush coming to my cheeks as I took the piece of cake from Alice. "Thanks."

She nodded, taking a bite of her own piece. "Why don't we sit down somewhere?" Alice asked suddenly. "I want to talk to you."

A sense of dread filled me, but I nodded anyway and followed her into the kitchen. The others were still in the dining room, so there was little chance of us being overheard or interrupted. "What's up?" I asked, looking down at my piece of cake but not taking a bite of it yet.

"When Edward told me you left, I really didn't want to believe him." Alice began, diving right in. She looked down at her piece of vanilla cake instead of at me. "I thought…I don't know, I guess I just believed you when you said everything was okay." She glanced up at me, and then quickly looked back down. "I don't know you very well. I thought we could have been friends but then you left and…" Alice took a deep breath, squinting slightly. "I'm really sorry for hating you, Bella." She said abruptly.

I silently put my plate down on the kitchen counter, just staring at Alice. Her normally pale cheeks with tinted pink, and her eyes were glassy as she stared at the half eaten piece of cake on her plate. "I wouldn't hate you, except I saw what you did to Edward. And I'm sorry, Bella, but that was awful."

"I didn't have any other choice." I lied.

Alice saw right through it, shaking her head. "I'm not even going to call you out on that. Edward's a great guy, Bella. And you've already missed so much with Avery. Truthfully, I don't even really hate you…I pity you more than anything else. You gave up Edward, who you probably loved and probably still do love, and you gave up Avery. They're both amazing, Bella."

"You don't think I know that?" I retorted immediately. "God, Alice, I _know_. But you don't understand what I was going through, and what I've been through since leaving-"

"If you would have told, I would have helped." Alice cut in immediately, her eyes narrowing. "You know I would have- when you told me about Avery I said I'd be supportive and that I wouldn't judge you! If you needed some time away I would have watched for a weekend or something…you didn't have to totally walk out of your daughter's life."

"I needed more than just a weekend away." I said coldly, turning away from Alice. "I needed to grow up and mature for real. And thanks to recent events, I've been forced into trying to grow up too fast once again."

Alice was quiet for a moment, and then spoke. "What the hell happened to you?"

…

**She tells Alice in the next chapter, and there will be a little more of the party. And then some more Edward/Bella interaction…they'll exchange words. And even Alice sees through Bella…sigh.**

**So please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey guys! Okay, so I'm going to try and finish up a few of my other stories before I focus a whole bunch on this one, so until then there may be a few more delays in updating the chapters. But when a couple of those stories start to get closer to end, this will be updated more often. I still can't say exactly how many chapters there will be in the story, but I'm guessing we're over halfway through at this point.**

**More good news- Blakely's ear infections are clearing up really well! She hasn't been fussing excessively for the past few days, so that's a good sign!**

**As always, thanks to Wendy for pre-reading, and to all you guys who have been so generous with your reviews and kind words. It means a lot!**

…**...**

_From the last chapter:_

"_I needed to grow up and mature for real. And thanks to recent events, I've been forced into trying to grow up too fast once again."_

_Alice was quiet for a moment, and then spoke. "What the hell happened to you?"_

I turned around and stared Alice straight in the eye, my lips pursed. "I was raped, Alice. I'm not trying to make an excuse of it, but that's what happened. And you have no idea what my life is like, or what it used to be like." I said coldly. Alice gaped at me, her mouth falling open as she just looked at me with pure shock written across her pixie like face.

"Oh my god, Bella, I didn't even know-"

My mind began racing, and I was desperately trying to block out all memories of that night.

"Yeah, you really didn't know." I interrupted her abruptly. "Because I didn't tell you. Because I _chose _not to tell you. And Edward didn't tell you either, so obviously you two need to work on the communication aspect of your relationship." I continued, feeling a little mean and nasty, and the look of confusion on Alice's face deepened.

"First of all, don't even begin to try and dish out relationship advice." Alice said, immediately getting defensive. "And secondly, what the hell are you even talking about? Edward and I don't have a relationship, other than the fact that we get along and we're friends. I help him watch Avery, the daughter you freaking abandoned, and he got me a part time job at the diner so I can get a new car."

I stared at Alice for a second, trying to process what she had just said. She and Edward were not in a relationship. The signs I had been reading were false, and I had overreacted over nothing. "Oh." I whispered softly, feeling a little defeated.

"Yeah." Alice retorted. "Please, Bella. I don't want to fight with you. I just…don't understand how you did it. I've only been spending time with Avery for a few months…but lord, she is the most beautiful and probably the sweetest baby in the world. Even I love spending time with her, and I'm not her mother."

"I didn't leave because I don't love Avery or Edward." I said quickly, starting to babble. "That wasn't the reason."

Alice squinted, and I then I realized what I had just said. "You love Edward, don't you Bella? You may not have realized it before…but you do now." Her voice was no longer cold- it was soft and melodic as usual.

I hesitated for a second, and then realized there was no point in lying for any longer. This was it. "Yes." I said quietly, and Alice sighed loudly.

"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry, for everything. But you know you can fix this pretty easily, right?" I stared at her, unsure, and she continued. "I know how Edward feels about you, Bella. I can tell by the way he looks when someone mentions your name, when he sees you, and even when he just _thinks_ about you. It may be hard for him to forgive you at first, but I know he will. Because I know that he really truly does love you, too, Bella."

I blinked back a few tears, and then rubbed my forehead. "It's not that simple, Alice. It probably never will be."

She stood up, picking up her empty plate as well. "Maybe. Or maybe not." She said bluntly, and then brushed past me and walked back into the dining room to join the rest of the party.

…

When I walked into the living room later, after finishing my cake, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw that Edward and Avery were the only two in the room. Edward was facing me, so Avery was facing away from me. But just the sight of her, knowing she was there, made me ache both physically and emotionally; ache in ways I didn't even realize were possible.

I stepped closer to them, and Edward glanced up at me, the look on his face unsure. "Edward." I whispered, continuing to walk closer. "Edward…please, can I hold her?" I asked quietly, my voice barely a whisper. "Please." I said again, And Edward bowed his head.

"Bella…I don't know if-" He began, but I shook my head quickly, interrupting him before he could stop me.

"Just for a moment." I begged.

"Okay." Edward relented, and quickly placed Avery in my arms. When I held her for the first time in months, I was instantly overwhelmed. Everything seemed different, but still somehow still seemed the same. She weighed more, but she still molded perfectly into my arms. And when she looked at me, it was indescribable.

Her wide eyes lit up, and before I could blink, she was nuzzled up against my chest and cooed contently. "Oh my god…" I whispered, and tears immediately filled my eyes.

"Oh my god." I repeated, holding Avery tightly against me. "I'm so sorry." I babbled, the tears coming faster and faster like a waterfall. "I love you." I whispered, and then I looked away from her beautiful little face and looked up at Edward. "And I love you, Edward."

…

**Ah! That was some confession, huh? But we all knew it was coming. Well, I don't know about all of you, but I definitely knew it was coming. Because dear lord, I promised an HEA a long, long time ago. And I would never ever be one to lie about my beloved HEA's. **

**Because in my book, Edward and Bella will always end up together. It may not be a happy road to get there, but somehow they're just meant for each other despite anything else that happens in the messed up lives I tend to create for them..**

**The next chapter should be out soon. I'm going to try to update tomorrow, but due to my slightly insane work schedule, I can't be sure that it will actually happen. But here's hoping, yeah?**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	27. Chapter 27

**I meant to update last week, and then we had some tragedy in our family. My younger brother's ex-girlfriend (they just broke up not two weeks ago) was involved in a car wreck and passed away. It's a wonderful example of how even if two people break up, they still matter deeply to each other. Mallory was a truly beautiful girl, graduated from high school this past year in the top ten in her class, and had just started at college. In the short year that I knew her, she made a huge impact and I'm never going to forget her!**

**Thanks for sticking with me through this. Right now, I'm estimating that there will be a little more than ten chapters left, unless some things change. Which, with my sporadic-ness, is very possible.**

**As always, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. And just a little while ago, I was interviewed for the P.I.C. FanFic Corner's blog. The interview can be found here, and thanks to Mrs. White for being awesome and interviewing me:**

**http:/picffcorner (dot) blogspot (dot) com/2010/09/mrs-white-makes-such-difference-with (dot) html**

…**...**

EPOV

Instead of going into the kitchen where I knew Alice and Bella both were, I took Avery into the living room for a little quiet time. She was only a year old and probably liked all the excitement around her, but it was wearing me out and I needed a little break.

So I stood by the big picture window and held Avery, kissing the top of her head and cooing in her ear. She was getting more and more beautiful as each day passed. And I wasn't taking anything for granted when it came to Avery.

Each day was special, each day was important. Avery was my daughter, the most important person in my life, and I was _always _going to be there for her.

I knew there would be times where she would resent me and be mad at me and rebel against me, but that was part of being a parent. It was my job to make sure that when the time came, she was smart enough to make her own decisions and become independent.

I wouldn't acknowledge it out loud, but my biggest fear was that Avery would be like her mother.

That sounded so wrong, even when I just thought it in my head, but it was the truth. I didn't want Avery to grow up and make the same stupid, hurtful choices that Bella made. Even though I could no longer deny the feelings that I _still _had for Bella. But I couldn't help it. For over a year, Bella and I had been so closer.

We had tried to keep it somewhat platonic when Bella and I had first moved in together. And then we started getting closer- sleeping together, touching, kissing. It had all spiraled out from there, and resulted in the twisted mess that we were stuck in now.

It was my own fault. I was in this much pain because of my inability to keep my feelings in check. And this was the most pain I had ever been in. This was worth than my estrangement from my parents, the blur of drugs and alcohol I had gotten wrapped up in at a young age, and even worse than the pain of rehab.

As I continued to hold Avery, I suddenly glanced up and saw Bella standing there in front of me. I stared at her uncertainly, totally unsure of what to say or how to act. This was getting to be too much for me.

She took a step closer to me, and I tensed up further. "Edward." She whispered, continuing to walk towards me slowly. "Edward…please, can I hold her?" She asked me- pleadingly, quietly. Her voice was so soft I could barely hear here. "Please." She added, and I sucked in a deep breath and looked down at the ground.

This was too much. Too much. But I was a masochist, I was addicted to her.

"Bella…I don't know if-" I started to speak but Bella cut me off, shaking her head.

"Just for a moment." She was begging, her brown eyes wet with unshed tears.

I hesitantly looked down at my daughter, content in my arms, and then without even thinking about it, I agreed. I didn't want to say no to Bella. "Okay." I placed Avery in Bella's arms, and seeing her standing there, holding our daughter, was causing me even more pain.

I watched them, feeling like an intruder as Bella looked down at Avery in an indescribable look in her eyes. Even I had to admit that Avery looked…_right…_in Bella's arms. And she should. Bella is her mother, she's supposed to be a part of her life. I continued to watch them as Avery snuggled into Bella's embrace, and Bella's eyes filled with more tears.

"Oh my god…" She whispered, and I had to bite my lip. "Oh my god." Bella said again, and I saw tears starting to fall down her face. I saw her grip on Avery tighten as she continued to cry, and it was all I could do not to cry as well. "I'm so sorry." Bella sobbed, more and more tears falling. "I love you." She said to Avery, and then suddenly her eyes were on me. "And I love you, Edward."

I froze. I just froze, totally at a loss for what to do. This was Bella. _Bella._ She was the woman I knew I loved, the mother of my child. But she was also the woman who had broken my heart and broken my family. She had hurt so many people that loved her, without a second thought. Just because she was selfish and immature and scared.

So I just stared at her. I knew I loved this woman standing in front of me, but I couldn't say it. Telling Bella that I loved her meant I was forgiving her, and I could _not _do that yet. I just couldn't. So that's what I told her.

"I can't do this right now, Bella. I can't." I said, reaching forward and taking Avery out of Bella's arms. Bella stared at me, sobbing silently, and I felt like my heart was being ripped in two. "I'm sorry." I added lamely, and that was it. I left here there, and I couldn't even bring myself to feel bad for it.

In a sick way, it was my way of getting back at her.

…

"And you just walked away?" Alice asked incredulously, and I had to tell her the truth.

It was the day after the disastrous birthday party, a day after I left Bella standing there alone in the living room, crying her eyes out. After she told me that she loved me.

"Yeah. I just walked away." I said truthfully, and Alice shook her head.

"God…" She trailed off, rubbing her forehead as she looked at me. "Yesterday before she talked to you, she talked to me. She told me about what happened with her a few weeks ago, and then she assumed that you and I were…you know, dating. She freaked out about it, too." Alice informed me, and I groaned.

Leave it to Bella to somehow manage to make things even more complicated than they already were.

"I can't believe this. And I can't _handle _this." I said angrily, rage bubbling up within me. Where the hell did Bella get off doing this to me? How could she continue to act like this, continue to make things even more difficult? "Alice, I'm sorry, but would you mind staying here with Avery for an hour or so? I want to go and talk to Charlie."

"Um, sure, no problem." Alice said, probably a little confused by my request. Charlie still looked after Avery every once and a while, but I knew it was hard for him without Bella around.

When I pulled up to Charlie's house, though, I was surprised to see another, unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. I slowly walked up to the house, hearing voices through the open living room windows.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Renée." Charlie's voice rang out, and I hesitated before knocking on the front door or ringing the bell.

"She's your daughter too, Charlie." A woman spoke then, and I knew that it had to be Bella's mother.

"You've got to be kidding me. Yeah, I know she's my goddamn daughter. I was the one who took care of her when she came to me, pregnant and without any parental support. And I was the one who was there for her until she decided she didn't need me anymore. I watched her mistreat and hurt Edward, and I never said anything about it because I didn't think that it was my place."

"She doesn't want to go to college. She wants to be with her daughter. That's all I came here to tell you." Renée huffed, and I heard footsteps approaching the door. Without thought, I yanked the door open and came face to face with Bella's mother. "Oh." She faltered and looked me up and down, obviously knowing who I was.

Charlie appeared behind Renée, his arms crossed over his chest. "Yeah." He echoed, his eyes meeting mine. "Oh."

…

**Sorry that was a bit short. Going to church early in the morning, and then to the funeral.**

**As always, please review and let me know what you thought. **

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	28. Chapter 28

**Sorry for the delay in this chapter- there's been a lot going on lately. But here it is, just a little later than I originally planned. Thanks for not giving up on this story, and for your awesome reviews. Right now, there are almost 530 reviews, and that's overwhelming. I can never say thank you enough!**

**Anyway, on with the chapter. **

**Thanks Wendy, for pre-reading!**

…**...**

BPOV

Renée knew something was up with me later that night when I returned home from the party. The moment I walked in the door, she was all over me.

"Are you okay? How was it?" She asked, touching my cheek with her cool fingers. "Do you want to talk about it?" I didn't reply, pushing past her and heading up the stairs. However, she didn't seem to take the hint and was right on my heels, continuing to question me endlessly when all I wanted was silence and peace. "Bella, you're freaking me out." Renée followed me into my bedroom and closed the door, sitting down on the end of my bed as I stood at my desk and gathered up all of my college applications, essays, and scholarship information.

Although she kept questioning me, I remained silent, finding a box in my closet and unceremoniously dumping all of my stupid college papers into it.

"Bella, what in God's name are you doing?" Renée snapped, and I finally turned around to face her, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, tears already running down my face.

"What am I doing?" I finally managed, my chest starting to rise and fall rapidly as I began to cry. "I miss her. I miss him. I don't know what to do!" I wailed, and Renée quickly stood up and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "I can't do this," I whispered, and I suddenly felt like I was right back at page one again.

Here I was, running away again. Here I was, going back on my own decision. Here I was, continuing to be a hypocrite.

Is this really what I am? What I've become? This didn't used to be me…once upon a time I was smart and independent and knew what I wanted. I don't know what happened to that part of me, but it seems to be gone for good. I'm certainly not a child anymore but I haven't done anything to prove that I'm an adult. All of this- going back to high school and graduating and living in Seattle has been wonderful, but it's not even close to what my heart truly wants.

My head is telling me to forget about Edward- to accept my choice to leave him and Avery and move on with my life and become an adult. But my heart is desperately telling me that I love both of them too much to ever truly let them go. My emotions and thoughts are all over the place, and I have no idea what to do.

I've been trying to block out and forget all the negative parts of my life, like leaving Edward and Avery and everything that happened to Jane and I that night at the party, but those horrible moments keep flooding to the front of my mind, replaying over and over again until I feel like I'm going crazy.

"Mom," I whispered, sniffling. "Mom, I miss them."

Renée stiffened, and then started stroking my hair gently. "It'll be okay," she soothed, rocking back and forth slightly. "You'll go to college and get a degree and then a job and have the fresh start you came here looking for. I know you miss them, but this was your choice, baby." 

"Why do I always choose the wrong thing?" I asked, my tears starting to fall even harder. "Why am I such a bad person?

"You're not a bad person, Bella," Renée assured me quickly, squeezing me even tighter. "You're a teenager. And even though you haven't made the best decisions…you're naïve, and you were too impulsive. I'm so sorry sweetie, but you've either got to live with it or make it right. Life is full of decisions and choices…you may try and run away from things that intimidate or scare you, but you can't run forever."

I continued to cry for several more minutes, letting go of my anger and sadness and fear and frustration until I was just me again, stripped to the bone and ready to make things right.

…

"Your dad doesn't think it's a good idea." Renée's words sounded sharp, but I knew they were really anything but. She was helping me.

"Did you tell him?" I asked, turning around to face her.

"Yes, of course I did," Renée said, walking past me and into the kitchen. "He said that you need to consider Edward, and he's right." She dropped her purse on the table, and then put her hands on her hips. "Bella, you've got no right to get back into both of their lives until Edward says you can. You left Avery with him, and he's been taking care of her. I know you probably don't want to admit it, but he has the right to make these decisions."

Renée had gone to Charlie for me, trying to work out some kind of arrangement. I had thought maybe I could live with him and get a job and still be able to see Avery and maybe even Edward. But it looked like that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. But truthfully, I didn't really blame Charlie for not agreeing with my idea.

He had done everything he could for me, and I had still left him without any kind of goodbye.

"You're going to be late for work," Renée muttered, breaking the awkward silence. "Do you want a ride to the bookstore?"

"No, I can walk," I said quietly, sliding on my flip flops and reaching for my purse. "Hey, Mom?" I asked tentatively, and raised her eyebrows at me. "Do you think…do you think Edward would hear me out if I went to talk to him?" I wondered aloud, and Renée pursed her lips.

"I don't know," she said quietly, and then left the room, turning off the lights behind her.

Work, as always, was dull. I loved the comfortable and cozy environment of the independently owned bookstore, but working behind the counter didn't thrill me the way actually reading novels did. Most of the books in stock were new copies, but there was also a used book section, which was my favorite. When the steady stream of customers would always lull in the early afternoon, I assumed myself by sifting through the shelves in search of some sort of treasure.

I had gotten my hands on a first edition once, and had also found some beloved and forgotten books that had once been my favorites.

I was there, looking through the selves in the used book section, when a quiet ringing noise told me that someone had just entered the store. I reluctantly put down the tattered copy of _Wuthering Heights _I had been examining and made my way to the front of the book store, brushing dust off of my smock as I did so.

Much to my surprise, Esme Cullen was standing near the door, looking just as warm and sweet and vintage as she always did. Her red lips curled up in a polite smile when she saw me approach, and she reached into her purse for something simultaneously.

"Bella, I don't mean to bother you, but Edward asked me to deliver this." She held out a white envelope, and I could see my name clearly written in Edward's handwriting.

I felt as if all the air was rushing out of my body, and I realized that this could be my chance to make things right.

…

**I hope you all have had a wonderful start to fall, and have a great Halloween on Sunday! I don't know when I'll be updating next, but I'm going to try and make it very soon. Like I said last chapter, there isn't a whole lot left to this story, and I don't want to drag it out too far.**

**I'm planning on updating "We Have the Summer" and then "Eye of the Beholder" next, so if you're reading either of those two, keep your eyes peeled for an update during the week. And of course I'll be updating my go-to story, "Picture Perfect" soon as well.**

**Please review- I love to hear from all of you!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	29. Chapter 29

**Another delay…I sincerely apologize but I've got no real excuse…it just took a long time to put together. And I am truly sad to announce that there is only going to be one more chapter, and then an epilogue for this story =( It's been a longgg road with this characters, and I love them so. Honestly, I've gotten too attached. I want to get this story wrapped up, so my plan is to have the epilogue posted just before Christmas and then it will be done. I'm going to miss it, but as always I am extremely thankful for all of your reviews, support, kind words, and all of you **_**nagging **_**for the next chapter's to be posted. Haha I'm kidding about that last part- it was always very welcome motivation to get the chapter finished. **

**I'm getting a little ahead of myself with the thank you's but I might as well do it now. Huge, huge, **_**huge**_** shout-out goes to Wendy aka Twilight44 for being such an amazing pre-reader. I appreciate sooo much and I'm glad you're pre-reading another one of my stories so that I don't have to say goodbye to you when this one is done. Another shout-out to beegurl13 for…um…she knows what I'm talking about! And of course, a big thanks goes out to everyone else for reviewing and sticking with it when the road got bumpy. Edward and Bella and Avery, not to mention me, thank you for it.**

**Aw. There are still two chapters left, but I don't want to have to end it. So we'll just continue with this chapter so that I don't start crying.**

…**...**

BPOV

I probably should have waited to open the letter, but I couldn't contain myself. With Esme still standing there, I ripped open the envelope.

"I…I should go," Esme said, biting her bottom lip. "Bella, it was nice seeing you. Um, if you need anything, you know where to find me." She hurried out of the store, and I stood there clutching the open envelope to my chest. Hurrying back behind the counter, I pulled some papers out of the envelope and sucked in a deep breath.

The first packet of papers looked ominous, so I pushed it aside and unfolded the handwritten note instead.

_Dear Bella,_

_Before I can even begin to forgive you, there are some things that you need to know. I wish I could say this to your face, but I don't think I would be able. Because honestly, all I want to do is forgive you- even though part of me is certain that you don't deserve it._

_First of all, I want you to know how painful it was for you to leave Avery and me the way you did. I can't even begin to imagine what was going through your mind. You're a smart girl, so how could you do something so freaking stupid? When I first came home that morning I knew that something was wrong. I realized you were gone, but when I couldn't find Avery I could barely breathe. The pain of you leaving was bad enough…but that thought that you might have taken Avery with you was too much._

_I would honestly rather be in rehab again, going through the torture that is withdrawal from cocaine and prescription drugs than for you to have taken her from me, too. For the first time since I've been clean, I felt like I needed something to take the pain away and make me feel numb._

_But I didn't do it- because I knew my daughter needed me to be there for her, just like she needed you. But you left her, and me, and I still can't get it through my head why you didn't just talk to me. I know we fight and our relationship was far from perfect…but could you really not have just said something to me? If you were feeling overwhelmed, we could have left Avery with Charlie, even Alice, and gone away for the weekend. Hell, I would have watched Avery on my own for a few days if you wanted to be alone. But you were too cowardly to even say anything so instead you ripped out my heart and left._

_You told me at Avery's birthday party that you love me. For some reason, I can't believe you. Maybe it's because I've loved you all along, and you've just been floating along in our relationship. I tried to give you space- I didn't want to move too fast. But it didn't matter and you ran off anyway. _

_Did you think that I wouldn't care? That Charlie wouldn't care? Or even Alice? We were all frantic, Bella. I was about to get the police involved until Charlie told me that you were safe with your mom in Seattle. And that's when I thought that I would just forget about you._

_I wanted to forget you and your selfishness and raise Avery on my own until I realized that it would probably be impossible for me to ever forget you. You're Avery's mother; you're the girl that I'm still in love with even though you broke my heart without a second thought._

_I'm sorry for what you've been through since you've left. I wish I could have been there to protect you and take care you of- but leaving was your own decision. Otherwise, I would have been there for you. That sounds harsh, but you know as well as I do that it's nothing but the truth. _

_I still love you, I won't deny it. But I can't just let you back into my life, let alone our daughter's life, until you make a few changes. You have to make up your mind- no more going out to "find yourself" and "grow up". You already are yourself, Bella, and I love you in spite of everything else. And whether you'll admit it or not, you are also already grown up…you just don't act like it all the time. _

_Stop trying to change yourself so dramatically and just think about your priorities in life._

_If Avery and I are still a priority in your life, come back. Live with Charlie for awhile and then we'll see how things go from there. Hopefully, I'll be able to forgive you and maybe things can finally be normal between us, and maybe Avery can actually have a normal family._

_If it weren't for her, I would take you back in a heartbeat. But she's my baby. I can't just let you back into our lives immediately without knowing if you'll run away again- please understand that. _

_You have my cell phone number, so call when you've made up your mind._

_-Edward_

Wiping away the tears that had gathered in my eyes, I put the note down and reached for the other packet of papers and unfolded it. My heart caught in my throat again as I read and realized what these legal papers were…they were for me to sign away my rights. Edward really was serious…it was either get back into Avery's life, or stay out of it for good.

Part of me was fuming that he had set that ultimatum for me like this, but the other part of me knew that if I were in his shoes, I would have done it too.

I took a deep breath to clear my head, and then through the legal papers into the trash without a second thought. I wasn't going to do that. I was going to make things better. With shaking hands, I got my phone out of my pocket and dialed Edward's cell phone number, anxious and scared and a little happy all at the same time. It was almost too overwhelming.

"Hello?" Edward's voice was still very much the same but was also different, and I knew why. He had gotten everything off of his chest. He had laid it all out, and now it was my turn to make a move.

"Hey," I said quietly, closing my eyes briefly. "It's me. Bella. I got your, um, letter."

He was silent for a moment, and his voice was hushed when he spoke. "Okay. Well…I hope you understand what I'm trying to get across…it was hard to word. But do you know what you're going to do?"

"Yeah." A tear escaped from my eye and slid down my cheek. "I…I've got some loose ends to tie up here…but then I'll be back. I'm going to talk to Charlie and then explain to my mom…"

Edward exhaled loudly, and I knew that he was relieved. "Alright. Uh, good. Is your mom…is she going to be okay with all of this?" He asked.

"Yes. I think so…she wants what is best for me, I know that now. At first I convinced myself that I hated her for trying to make me grow up so quickly, but really, I needed that push. It may have taken a while for me to get there…but I'm working on it. She's actually been talking to me about going to live with Charlie again for a little while, anyway." I rambled on for a bit and then finally fell silent, wondering what else Edward had to say.

"Okay. I've already talked to Charlie about it, by the way. He thinks it's a good idea. And, um, Alice has already promised to watch Avery if you ever need her. Jasper, too."

It was odd to hear Edward talk about Alice and Jasper because I had known them first…they had almost been _friends,_ real friends, before I had left. And instead of being there for me like they would have been if I had allowed it, they had both stepped up for Avery and Edward and I was thankful for it.

"I'll be there next week," I promised, and then we said our goodbyes and both hung up the phone.

I stood there in the bookshop with my mind going in a thousand different directions, and all I could think about was the opportunity that Edward had just given me. I had finally gotten that second chance, and I was going to take it. For Avery, Edward, Charlie, Renée, Alice, and even Jasper…but most of all, for myself.

…

**Whew. Please review…let me know what you think. I want to get the next chapter done by next weekend, so stay tuned.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	30. Chapter 30

**My laptop is still in with the geek squad…so I'm uploading this from the art gallery, which is probably frowned upon. But oh well. Hopefully, my own computer will be back in working order soon and I won't get in trouble.**

**Ugh…I think a big part of my hesitation is that I don't want this to end. So please review, and let me know what you're thinking.**

**Thanks, Wendy =)**

…**...**

BPOV

Jane's neighborhood was comprised of large houses with perfectly manicured lawns and long, winding driveways. And her sprawling house was nothing like any of the places I had lived- not Charlie's house, Renée's townhouse, and definitely not the apartment that Edward and I had shared.

When I rang the doorbell a stout woman in a grey and white uniform answered, and told me in a thick French accent that Jane's parents weren't home, but that Jane was up in her bedroom if I wished to speak with her. I thanked the woman as I walked into the house, carefully slipping my shoes off before I stepped on the shiny marble floor.

"Miss Jane's room is upstairs, at the end of the hallway," the woman informed me, and then bustled off before I could thank her again.

I shrugged and climbed up the grand staircase and headed down the hallway. The last door at the very end of the hallway had a handwritten sign on it that said "Jane's Room" in curly letters. I had been to Jane's house a few times before, but never in her bedroom.

I knocked, but there was no reply. So I gently pushed the door open, and peered into the room. It was all a shock of various shades of pink and purple with white furniture.

"_What?_" I heard Jane's voice snap, so I stepped further into the room and closed the door behind me.

"Jane, it's me. Bella," I said, and I finally spotted Jane lying on the canopy bed on the far side of the room. "I…well, I just wanted to talk to you."

She was silent for a long moment, and when she spoke again her voice had lost its sharp edge. "Oh. Um, okay." I saw her sit up in bed, and I had to stop myself from gasping.

Jane, who was usually so put together and trendy, looked absolutely nothing like herself. Her formerly long, beautiful hair had been shorn off, and her eyes looked…dead and empty. It was chilling, and I wondered how close I had been to having that look in my eyes, too.

"How are you?" I asked softly, walking over to her. I stood at the edge of her bed, wanting to touch her to see if this was real, but holding back.

"Not so great. But I'm surviving," she said dryly. "I…I'm having a hard time. Dr. Cullen referred me to a therapist…" she inhaled sharply, "but I don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet. I…I can't even think about it without freaking out."

I nodded, understanding how she felt. Until I had found hope in my life again, that was how I had felt about the whole thing.

"I cut my hair off." Jane's voice was raspy as she spoke, and she reached up to touch the ends of her extremely short hair. "I…I can't stand to think of someone ever touching it again…like they did."

I just nodded again, and I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up.

"How are you?" She asked, changing the subject and putting the focus on me…which was very unlike the Jane that I used to know.

"I'm alright," I murmured, sitting down on the edge of her bed and shrugging my shoulders. "I haven't talked to anyone- I'm not ready for that either. But I'm trying not to think about it, ever. And I'm trying to move on with my life."

Jane stared at me, her blank eyes boring into mine. "Moving on? How so?"

"I'm going back to Forks. I…I'm starting over with Edward and our daughter. I tried to run away from all the responsibilities I have with that, and that was really stupid of me. I can't run away from them, because they've been my entire reason for living all along. I love them, Jane. I have to grow up."

"I thought you didn't want to grow up," Jane remarked, and I had to laugh a little bit at her blunt statement.

"You're right, I didn't. But…it's recently become clear to me that if I want to be truly happy, I need to be with them. The people I love most in this world."

Jane frowned, her eyebrows creasing. "And he's going to take you back, just like that? I'm sorry Bella, but from what you've told me, you kind of closed that door, didn't you?"

"I thought so," I admitted, biting my lip for a moment. "But that's one of the funny things about love, I guess. I know Edward loves me and I love him, and we want to be together. Sadly, it's not that easy. Even if he wanted to, it would be stupid of him just to let me back into his life like I was before. We've got a long way to go before we can actually work things out. But I want to be with him, and I can't bear to be away from my daughter for any longer." I paused, shaking my head slightly. "Jane, I was a really big fucking idiot to have come back to Seattle."

I reached for her hand, and even though she tensed for a moment, she didn't pull away. "Even though I'll be in Forks, I'm still here for you, Jane. You're my friend, and I'm yours. I know it's going to be hard for you to talk to a therapist about what happened, because it'll be hard for me, too. But I think if you and I talked to each other, it may get a little easier. It's probably always going to hurt…even so, we shouldn't let that hurt and hatred stop of us from loving and living our lives, right?"

Jane's eyes filled with tears, and she pulled me into a hug. "Thank you," she whispered, burying her face into the crook of my neck. "I'll call you if I need to talk, I promise."

"And I'll do the same." I squeezed her tightly for a moment, and tears stung in my eyes.

Life was always going to be hard. But what was the point of on hanging onto these bad memories and feelings? They were just weighing me down and holding me back from being the person that I wanted to and needed to be.

…

"I'm really proud of you, Bella." My mom tightened her grip around me, squeezing tightly. "I haven't been the best influence in the past, I know that, but I'm just a phone call away if you need me."

"I know, Mom. Thanks," I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.

Today, I was leaving Seattle and going back to Forks. Edward and Charlie both had the day off from work, so the three of us, plus Avery, were going to be spending the day together. Charlie had offered to drive up to Seattle and take me home, but I declined and opted instead to catch a bus, early in the morning, and make my escape.

But this time, instead of running away, I was going home.

"Alright…you're going to be late if we don't get going," Renée muttered, wiping her eyes as she pulled away from me.

My few bags were in the back of her car, my bus ticket had been purchased, and now all that was left was for me to actually _go_.

…

The bus ride seemed longer this time, probably because I was so anxious about being home. Forks might be small, my relationship with Edward might be messy, and things might not be ideal, but this is my life and I'm going to accept things as they come. There's nothing I can do to change what is truly fate.

When I stepped off of the bus, feeling grimy and cramped, I see Edward and Charlie standing several feet away, waiting for me. My heart takes off, and my feet moved even faster when I saw that Avery was standing unsteadily next to Edward, tightly gripping his index finger.

I felt like I was being choked with sobs and happiness at the same time, but I couldn't imagine anything less being so _right_.

Charlie hugged me immediately, holding me close for a moment longer than he would have before. "It's good to have you home, Bells," he said simply, and I saw that his eyes were shining with tears that would, most likely, remain unshed.

I then turned to Edward, suddenly feeling bashful, which I knew was completely ridiculous. Because this was Edward. The man I loved, the father of my child, and the man who loved me so much, that he was giving me a second chance at the life I had once screwed up so badly.

"Hey there." Edward's voice was exactly how I remembered it, of course. But it sounded even sweeter to me now.

"Hi," I replied, a blush rising to my cheeks predictably as I smiled. He smiled back, and then gestured down towards Avery knowingly. I crouched down in front of her, unable to contain the smile when I saw my baby face to face. "Hey, little girl," I said in a slightly shakily voice. Her eyes were bright and her short hair was pulled into little pigtails, and she looked even more adorable than the last time I had seen her, which I hadn't even thought was possible.

"Say 'hi', Avery," Edward instructed her gently.

She bashfully leaned against Edward, tucking her chin down. "Hi," she whispered in her little baby voice, and it was like my heart was mending and breaking at the same time.

…

**One left…and then an epilogue? I'm not sure…it just might be one more =( I'll have to see how it works out. But please review, and let me know what's on your mind, as always.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	31. Chapter 31

**This took so incredibly long to get finished. And as I started writing this chapter, I decided that there is definitely going to be another chapter after this, followed by an epilogue. Because things still need to be wrapped up, and I really don't want to leave you hanging. **

**But honestly, I feel like I've repeatedly detailed the whole separation between Bella and Edward (plus Avery), so I'm trying not to go too far into that. From now on, the remainder of the story is going to be focused on the three of them, plus the other people in Edward and Bella's lives. **

**As most of you probably remembered, I wanted to finish this story up before the New Year. And obviously, that didn't happen. Real life doesn't always go the way you expect it to! On that note…my husband and I are going to be having another baby. We just found out the day after Christmas, and I'm due in mid-July. Needless to say things are going to be fast paced for awhile, but don't fret- I'm still here =)**

**On a related note, my newest story "The Way I Love You", was supposed to start updating at the start of 2011. That is still happening…the second chapter will be up fairly shortly. It still needs some fine tuning before the pre-reader gets it and then it will be uploaded.**

**Peas and Franks, Wendy…aka please and thanks, Wendy.**

…**...**

BPOV

Edward leaned down and scooped Avery up, smiling. "Your dad said he could take Avery for a couple of hours so you and I can, um, catch up and stuff." He gestured to Charlie, who smiled tightly and reached for Avery. She held her arms out to her grandfather without question, obviously comfortable and secure in his arms.

"Yeah, okay," I murmured, and then glanced back at Avery. "I'll see you later, baby," I said softly, reaching out to touch her soft hand. Avery blinked at me, and then smiled shyly and waved 'goodbye'.

"Bye, sweetheart." Edward kissed the top of Avery's head and then addressed Charlie. "Thanks again, Charlie. We'll swing by your house to pick her up in a couple of hours, if that's okay."

"No problem." Charlie nodded cheerfully, and he said goodbye to us before walking towards the parking lot with Avery. She peeked over his shoulder as he walked away, her big eyes glued to Edward and me.

Edward glanced over at me, his hands shoved in his pockets. "Uh, so, how are you?"

"I'm good," I said quickly, nodding a little too enthusiastically.

"Good. We can go back to my, um, I mean…we could go back to the apartment and talk, or we could go to the diner or something…"

I nodded, my heart practically beating through my chest. "Yeah, sure. Let's go back to the apartment."

Edward nodded again. "Okay. Let's go."

The short car ride back to the apartment building was filled with awkward, but polite, conversation. Edward didn't really know what to say, and I definitely didn't know what to say either. We just had to hope for the best, and hope that our relationship wasn't damaged forever. Even if we couldn't be together romantically, it was important to me that Edward and I be at least friends.

Things in the apartment had changed. It was still small and a little shabby, but there was a fresh coat of paint on the walls and some of the furniture had been moved around. Toys and books littered the floor in the living room, and I could see that there were drawings pinned up on the fridge. They were just scribbles, but they were my _daughter's_ scribbles and that made them priceless pieces of art in my eyes and obviously in Edward's eyes too.

"Do you want something to drink?" Edward's voice rang out in the empty apartment and I turned around to look at him, shaking my head.

"No, it's okay. I just want to start talking, honestly," I said as I exhaled loudly.

"Okay."

I sat down on the couch and Edward slowly sat down next to me, our bodies angled so that we were facing each other.

"First of all, I would like to say thank you," I began, twisting my hands together on my lap. "For holding everything together when I totally lost it, for taking care of Avery, and for letting me come back. I wouldn't…" I cleared my throat, willing myself not to cry. "I really wouldn't have come back if it hadn't been okay with you. I understand that you are granting me a _huge _favor-"

"It's not a favor, Bella," Edward said quickly, interrupting me. "I'm sorry, but I did not want you to come back here like that. I wanted you to come back because that is what's best for all three of us. Avery needs you, and…and I need you, too."

I blinked, a little taken aback by his words. "I really did miss you," I whispered, not looking him in the eye. "And I really am sorry."

"I know you're sorry, Bella. You don't have to keep apologizing over and over again. It's in the past. What you need to do now is focus on the future, and what you're going to do. So…what? Are you going to go to a four year university? Community college? Get a job? These are some of the things that we need to talk about."

"Okay." I cleared my throat, trying to stop my head from spinning. I hadn't realized quite how quickly Edward wanted me to figure these things out. This all went along with being an adult, which I swore I was going to do, but everything was really sinking in now all of a sudden. "I'm not sure about school," I began. "Originally, you and I had decided that I would get a job or stay with Avery while you started school somewhere. And honestly, I'm still open to that idea. I still don't know what kind of work I would like to do, so I need some time to figure that out before I start college."

Edward raised his eyebrows, nodding in agreement. "Okay. The thing is, neither of us would be able to go to school here, in Forks, anyway. The closest community college is in Port Angeles and the closest four year university is even further. Either way, we would have to move."

"Wow. You're right- we would have to move…I hadn't really thought about that. Away from Charlie and Alice…" I bit my lip, seeing a whole new set of problems arise.

"Or," Edward paused, arching his eyebrow, "I could go to classes in Port Angeles and just make the drive every time I have a class."

This little discussion went on for what felt like hours, but only because this wasn't what I _really _wanted to talk about. What I really wanted to talk about was simple- I wanted to talk about the relationship Edward and I shared, and what we _could _share.

On Avery's birthday, I had told him how I really felt. And I had never gotten a response from him; not a real one, anyway. But I knew that being a good father and taking care of Avery was more important to him, especially after what I did. Maybe, if I got my act together, Edward and I could have a real chance at figuring out our relationship.

Several Weeks Later:

"Do you want me to come over tonight?" I asked Edward. He was standing in the doorway of Charlie's living room, waiting patiently while I put Avery's shoes on her feet. I had gotten to spend the whole day with my baby while Edward had gone to work, and I was proud of the fact that I could still take care of my daughter. Edward and I had both been worried about how Avery would react to my sudden reappearance in her life, but thankfully it had not been an issue. She was still just a baby, and she knew that I was her mother.

"If you want," Edward said, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm kind of tired from work, but we could watch a movie or something after I put Avery down to bed.

My heartbeat quickened slightly at the thought of spending more time alone with Edward. Over the past few weeks we've become closer and close, but neither of us has taken steps towards a romantic relationship yet. The timing is still…off.

There are still things that need to be said between the two of us, and time needs to pass before that can happen.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Charlie and I are going to have dinner together, but I'll stop by after that."

Edward nodded, and held out his arms as Avery toddled over to him happily. She was still a little unsteady on her feet, but was picking up speed and momentum every day. "Say bye to your mom, Avery," he instructed gently, and she giggled.

"Bye-bye, Mommy." Her words were basically just babbling, but I knew what she meant. And every time I got to be with my daughter, I could never remember why I had left in the first place. Avery…Avery was my everything.

"Bye, cutie." I kissed his pudgy cheek, and then gave Edward a quick hug. "I'll see you later tonight."

He nodded, waved, and then walked out the door with Avery.

…

These past couple of weeks have been hard, but it feels like everyday gets better. I had known that everything wouldn't just go back to normal; that I couldn't just flawlessly slip back into Edward and Avery's lives. But I was trying to make things as easy as possible, and Edward was letting me do that.

He had been working a lot more lately, trying to get in as many hours as he could before he started attending class in Port Angeles in the fall. At this point, we still aren't sure what we are going to do about living arrangements and commuting and maybe even moving. Those decisions heavily depend on the nature of our relationship, and neither of us have broached that topic yet.

But while Edward has been working during the day, I've spent a great deal of time with my daughter. There are days that Edward lets Alice watch her instead, and times when Esme and Carlisle drive all the way down from Seattle to spend a few days with their granddaughter, but otherwise she's all mine.

…

"Hey." Edward opened the door to his apartment just a few seconds after I knocked, looking a little stressed out. His hair was looking crazier than normal was sticking up all over the place, a clear indication that he was nervous about something. "You've got good timing, Avery just fell asleep."

I smiled as I stepped inside, and my heart started pounding yet again as Edward pulled me into a tight hug.

"I know we were going to watch a movie, but I kind of want to talk to you first," he said, and the nervous, stressed look on his face was back.

"Okay…" I walked further into the apartment, plopped down on the couch and then patted the spot next to me. "Sit and we can talk."

Edward obliged, sinking down on the seat next to me. He hesitated for a moment, and then spoke quickly. "I was thinking about what you said at Avery's birthday party," he began, and I felt myself blush. "And…um, I was wondering if you still felt that way. I know things still aren't ideal between the two of us…but I miss you. You live five minutes away and I miss you halfway into the drive home."

"I still feel that way," I blurted out in a whisper. "And I don't think that will ever change. I love you, Edward, I do. There have been so many changes in my life in the past two years, both good and bad, but only a few things have stayed constant. One of those things is the way I feel about you."

"That's good to know," Edward replied softly. "But I really don't know where to go from here…"

"We could start with this…" I paused, and then leaned forward and kissed Edward softly on the lips. His lips felt just the way I remembered, soft and supple and still masculine. The kiss was closed mouth and chaste, but still made my lips tingle and my heart pick up speed. "And we can take it from here, one step at a time."

…

**Aw. The chapter after this is the epilogue.**

**BUT DO NOT FRET! This epilogue will cover a lot more than you think it will…including the relationship between Edward/Bella, and Avery. It's more of a finale than an epilogue, really.**

**The sad thing is, I don't know when it will be done. But oh Jesus, I sooo want to get it done in late January. That is my belated Christmas wish. Does Santa honor those?**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	32. Chapter 32

**This is the last chapter. I said I wanted to get it done before the end of January, and well, here it is at the beginning of February instead. Close enough, right? **

**It's always hard to say goodbye to a story and this one is certainly not an exception. Although I hit some rough patches, I have always looked forward to writing each chapter for this story and your support has been incredible. Thank you for that.**

**The biggest thank yous belong to beegurl13 and twilight44…thanks so much for all that you have both done for me and this story.**

**This chapter (epilogue) skips far ahead into the future but still covers the things I felt needed to be addressed still. I apologize if I missed anything…I tried my hardest not to. There will be one or maybe two outtakes, which will be published later. No ETA for those yet.**

**Thanks again to Wendy for pre-reading! I'm glad you're pre-reading two other stories for me so that I don't really have to say goodbye…**

…**...**

EPOV

It took a lot of time for things to get back to normal. Even after Bella moved back into the apartment, it still felt different. But eventually, I realized that wasn't such a bad thing. Because things really were different now, whether Bella and I accepted it or not.

The most noticeable change, at first, was our physical relationship. Before Bella left, when we were more casual and not very committed to each other, we would still share kisses and touches and we had sex. But now, things were definitely not the same.

She was not as receptive and a lot more timid when it came to simple things like kissing or even holding hands. But really, it was to be expected. Bella had been through a lot, and her beautiful body had been violated against her will in the worst of ways. She shirked away from any form of intimacy, and it took me a little while to learn what was acceptable and what was not.

I continued to make sacrifices, but I was more than willing to do so. There were days when Bella was completely frazzled and felt overwhelmed. Those days were pretty scary at first, but soon I knew how to handle them and they didn't seem so terrifying.

Our physical relationship continued to develop after that, and within a year, it seemed that things were back to the way they used to be, but even better. Bella was still hesitant and unsure in some areas, but overtime she continued to gain confidence. Avery could never have a better mother and I could never wish for a better partner.

She was beautiful in even her uncertainty, and I loved her even more for it. I loved how I could make her feel better about herself by telling her things that were simply the truth.

It was also hard to trust her at times, and I knew it was also hard for her to accept that. Eventually, we both realized it was a lot easier to just lay all our problems out on the table and talk it out. Of course there were still fights and problems, but we took them in stride and accepted what came our way.

BPOV, Five Years Later:

"That's the last box," I said, wiping my hands on the front of my shorts. "So…do you want to start unpacking, or take a break?"

"Take a break." Edward wiped his sweaty brow with the back of his hand and then collapsed onto the sofa with a sigh. "I've been unloading boxes from the truck all morning," he added, closing his eyes wearily. I sat down next to him on the couch, crossing my legs and rubbing his shoulder. The ring on the fourth finger of my left hand glimmered in the sun coming through the front windows of our new house, making me smile.

Edward peeked his eyes open and smiled back at me, reaching out and capturing my hand in his. "Are you happy, Bella?"

I nodded, squeezing his hand tightly. "Without a doubt."

"Good." His eyes lingered on my face for a moment, and then he spoke again. "That's all I want…is for you and Avery to be happy."

"I know that, baby. You've been incredible to both of us. And Avery is going to be so excited when she sees that you finished painting her bedroom. And after lunch, I'm going to try and unpack all of her things so that it will be ready when she comes home from school."

Edward leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "Sounds good," he said, and then sprawled out across the couch again. "I'm just going to take a little nap," he added, mumbling quietly.

"Okay." I stood up from the sofa and kissed Edward's cheek before heading into the kitchen to try and sort out some of the boxes.

Over the past five years, thing have definitely changed. There have been fights and talks and kisses, but there was not one moment that I could bring myself to regret. All of those moments led to what we had now.

The three of us packed up and moved from Forks to Tacoma so that Edward could attend the University of Washington there for Business Administration. Edward and I both knew that the move would be hard, especially since I would be alone with Avery while Edward went to school and worked some weekends. On the days when Edward didn't have class or work, I would also put in a few hours at a little coffee shop down the street. The load sometimes seemed too heavy for both of us, but I wanted to make sure Edward wasn't working too hard. It was also my responsibility to watch Avery and to earn a little money for us, and I loved the time I got to spend with my daughter.

It was extremely stressful at times, for both of us, but we managed just fine. Since we were closer to Edward's parents and my mom now, they helped out with Avery once in a while if I needed a break.

With Avery growing bigger and more independent with every passing day, I couldn't help but miss my little baby. She was six years old now and so full of life and love. She was a complete Daddy's Girl but still my sweetheart, too.

Edward and I took our relationship slow this time around, taking time to enjoy each other and enjoy the life we had together with our daughter before getting too serious and moving too fast.

Like I said, things weren't always perfect. I still felt unbelievably overwhelmed at times, but Edward was always there for me. And as Avery grew up, I realized that she was easily the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Edward and I still had stupid, pointless fights, but I knew that it would be okay. Every couple fights and every couple has struggles, but Edward and I…we'll be okay. Because I love him and I know that he truly does love me. It's a beautiful thing, being in love. Edward's flaws seem so much less important and so do my own faults. It's like the little bits of bad that we both have cancel each other out.

We had been dating for over four years before Edward proposed to me. My friends teased me about having to wait, but I didn't bother telling them that it had been Edward waiting for me, not the other way around. He waited until he was sure that I was perfectly secure and comfortable in our life. His unwavering patience was just another way Edward proved that while he may not have been the perfect man, he was _my _perfect man and he would always take care of me.

I continued to mindlessly unpack the kitchen, lost in my own thoughts of the past, until I heard Edward's voice from the doorway.

"Ready for lunch?" he asked, and I felt his arm wrap around my waist. "I'll make sandwiches."

I smiled and looked over my shoulder at Edward, nodding. "That sounds great." Edward kissed the back of my head and then released me to find the ingredients he would need to make the sandwiches.

"I talked to my mom earlier," he called, his voice muffled as he looked through the cabinets I had just filled up.

"Yeah? What'd she say?" I asked, getting out paper plates and cups, which would have to suffice until I located the box that held our actual dishes and cutlery.

"She wants to know if we're ever going to set a date for the wedding," Edward said, sounding a little hesitant. "I told her that we hadn't really thought about the date…and that we'd let her know."

I sighed and tucked a stray piece of hair back behind my ear. "I'll talk to her tomorrow. Honestly, I think she might be more concerned with wedding plans than we are. Is that bad?"

"Not necessarily." Edward started making our sandwiches, not looking at me as he spoke. "You and I are more concerned about what happens _after _the wedding; our life together. My mom just lives to plan parties."

I laughed, thinking about my eccentric mother in law to be. "That's true. I think we would be better off just letting your mother and Avery plan the whole thing."

Edward kissed me firmly on the lips, and then handed me my sandwich. "Enjoy, my beautiful fiancée."

…

"Mom, can I still be your flower girl?" Avery asked, glancing up at me from her dinner plate.

"Of course," I said easily, looking at Edward and then focusing on her. "Why do you ask, sweetie?"

"Melissa said that I couldn't be the flower girl in your wedding because you're my parents. She said that people aren't supposed to have kids before they're married, and that means I can't be in your wedding."

I dropped my fork, looking over at Edward with worry written all over my face. "Honey, Melissa doesn't know what she's talking about. _Her_ parents might have been married before she was born, but that's not always how it works. Just because Daddy and I aren't married doesn't make you any less important, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be in our wedding."

Edward nodded, reaching across the table and taking my hand. "You're our favorite person in the world, Avery, and we love you very much. That's why we want you to be in our wedding. Because it's not just your dad and I's wedding; it's _our _wedding. All of us are going to be a part of it. We're lucky, sweetie, because all of us get to share a very happy event together."

Avery seemed to be appeased by our answers, but she still looked a little trouble. "Well, why didn't you get married before I was born?" She questioned, and Edward and I exchanged a glance.

We've known this question would be coming for years, but somehow we still aren't prepared for it.

"Everyone is different, Avery" I began, "your father and I just…we weren't ready to get married when you were born, but that doesn't make us love you any less. No matter when you were born, you're still the best thing that ever happened to us." Edward nodded, his eyes glued to my face. "Don't listen to what other people say about stuff like that, okay? They don't understand the full story, and they probably never will."

"Okay," Avery said simply, easily accepting my answer and then digging into her dinner again. "So, I still get to pick out my dress too, right?"

Edward laughed loudly, shaking his head at our daughter's carefree simplicity.

"Yes, you get to pick out the dress. But don't forget, Daddy and I have a lot of planning to do before we get to that point."

…

Exactly five months, one week, and four days later, our wedding was completely planned. Dresses had been purchased and tailored, tuxedoes had been rented, and the million little of the details had all been handled…mostly by Esme and Alice, who was going to be my one and only bridesmaid.

The wedding was going to be small, just like Edward and I had always planned. 50 of our family members and closest friends would gather around us and watch Edward and I, not to mention Avery, start the rest of our life together.

When the day finally came, everything seemed like just a blur.

Alice, Esme, my mom, and Avery were helping me get ready, fawning over me and making me feel like the stereotypical blushing bride. They soothed my nerves, even though I had no idea what I was so nervous about. How different could life be after this? It was just a wedding…our lives were already bound together, and had been since Avery's birth.

"Can I have some alone time with Avery?" I asked, only a few minutes before I was due to walk down the aisle.

The rest of them left us, kissing me and hugging me and wishing me well. And then three of them were gone; the door closed quietly behind them.

"Are you still nervous, Mom?" Avery asked, gently touching the delicate material of my long veil.

"No, baby," I assured her. "I'm excited. I love your daddy very much."

She nodded, smiling up at me. She looked so young and innocent with a missing tooth and her crooked smile. "I know. I love you guys, too."

"That's good to know." I ran my hands through her soft curls. "We should probably get out there before Grandpa Charlie comes looking for us."

"Okay!" Avery grasped my hand and we walked out of the room together, running into Charlie in the hallway.

"Hey, girls. I was just coming to get you. Are you all ready?" Charlie asked, and I saw the way his eyes misted over as he took in my appearance.

"Yep! We're all ready and we're both very excited," Avery said eagerly, grabbing her grandfather's hand too.

Charlie smiled at me, and wiped his eyes dramatically. "Alright. Let's go, ladies."

…

Of course, my wedding flashed by so quickly, I could barely take it all in. Edward was there with me, and so was Avery, so that was all I really needed. Edward's face was beautiful as I walked down the aisle towards him, and our first kiss as husband in wife was fantastically soft and tender. We were finally celebrating our love and our relationship with the people we loved most, and it couldn't have been more perfect.

"Are you happy?" Edward asked, a question that had become common over the years.

"Happier than I've ever been," I replied without even having to think.

Just like our wedding, the months following passed quickly. Edward easily settled into his new job and Avery loved first grade and I was taking art classes; everything was falling perfectly into place. Of course there were still plenty of problems- marriage created more problems than I had ever expected, but through everything, we were still a family and that was the most important thing.

Within a year and a half, Edward and I welcomed another precious baby into our family. Tegan Elise Cullen was brought into the world and into a happy family. Avery loved being a big sister, and Edward and I both adored our second daughter.

At times, I was still irresponsible. There were frustrating moments when I wanted to just throw in the towel and give up again, but I never did. Things were different, and easier, now and I could easily say that I had never happier with my life.

EPOV

There was a time in my life when I thought I would never be able to make Bella Swan happy.

But now here we were, happily married with two unbelievably beautiful daughters. Sometimes I worried about Bella and her happiness, but then I would look over at her and…she would just have then fantastic smile on her face that made me forget all of my worries.

When I knew I wanted to ask her to marry me, I waited until I was sure she was completely ready for marriage. We had talked about it before, but it wasn't until we were over three years into our relationship that I realized we were both ready for the commitment.

I had been nervous up until the very second she said yes to my proposal, even though I really knew the answer all along.

There was nothing I wouldn't do for her, and nothing that I would sacrifice for the family she had given me. Tegan and Avery brought Bella and I more joy than I could ever fully express, and we tried to show them that every single day.

Nothing was ever going to be perfect, and we both knew that. There were still times that I felt that awful urge to relapse back into drugs, but one look at my family could suppress that. Bella and I still had our fights, but something else was different.

There was no longer any uncertainty in our feelings for each other, and there was no longer such a difference between us.

…

**The End.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


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